MALE GUEST: “Where is your wife?”
HUSBAND: “She’s in the kitchen fixing dinner. But in my opinion, it’s beyond repair.”
Tag Archives: food
Joke #13141
The father told his son, “I won’t waste money on pet food. If you want a pet, get one that will eat table scraps.”
The next day the son brought home a termite farm.
Joke #13137
My wife makes the only meat loaf in town that has to be cut with a hack saw.
Joke #13136
I’m not fussy. I’ll eat anything my wife puts on the table, as long as she didn’t cook it.
Joke #13133
My kids’ table manners disgust me. You can’t imagine how sickening it is to watch a four-year-old and a five-year-old sip chicken noodle soup through crazy straws.
Joke #13074
Her cooking is so bad that just to be on the safe side, she only invites dinner guests who have their life insurance paid up.
Joke #13073
MAE: “I get everything backwards.”
RAY: “I can’t believe that.”
MAE: “It’s true. I’ll give you an example. Yesterday I tried to follow a recipe for pineapple upside-down cake and ended up with a pineapple down-side up cake.”
Joke #13071
I’m so wishy-washy that when I go to a hamburger joint and order a whopper, I’ll have it any way they want to make it.
Joke #13044
I’m a man who can live by bread alone. I can’t even afford butter.
Joke #13030
Once I ate in a restaurant that was so bad, I got food poisoning just from opening the menu.
Joke #13029
I wouldn’t say the last delicatessen I ate in wasn’t clean, but the seeds in my rye bread were moving.
Joke #12980
Q: What makes the tower of Pisa lean?
A: It never eats!
Joke #12977
Like the hamburger said at the monastery: “Out of the frying pan and into the friar.”
Joke #12932
Hospitals are so clean, you can eat off the floor. And the way they prepare food, that’s where most of the meals end up.
Joke #12924
DOCTOR: “Miss Smith, contrary to what you seem to think, you do not get Hong Kong flu from eating contaminated Chow Mein.”