“The last epiphany I had was when I finally realized I had armpit hair in 8th grade. I had not noticed it beforehand.”
– davepoobond
Tag Archives: davepoobond
Quote #23021
“To have orthography, you have to build up an actual care for having all of your words spelled write, and use sensefully in a grammatical stand point.”
– davepoobond
Quote #23020
“I will not have a quotidian life because I will want to make myself have a different experience every day, as I do not wish to have a boring life.”
– davepoobond
Quote #23019
“Miss Horny is on a power trip, so she used Johnny as an example for her expression of power, by threatening to suspend him for three days in front of the class.”
– davepoobond
Quote #23018
“I had insulted someone to the point they started crying, so I had to say I was sorry, and everything was ok.”
– davepoobond
Quote #23017
“One day I was walking home from school, when all of a sudden somebody came over to me. He took my glasses and stomped on them. He took my clothes off and then burned them while I watched mournfully at the bon fire in front of me. I cried for 3 weeks straight afterwards.”
– davepoobond
Quote #23016
“A juggler would have a moiety of time to catch each ball he is juggling and then throwing it back up.”
– davepoobond
Quote #23015: Drug Education Does Not Work
“Spare me the stupid visits from cops once every month for about a year, you’re just making us aware of what drugs are out there so we can be influenced to go and try them.”
– davepoobond
Quote #23013: Rate Your Adolescence
How would you rate or evaluate your period of adolescence? What has it been like, typical, atypical, etc.
“My period of adolescence has been atypical. I do not do anything fun or out of the ordinary. The most exciting thing I would do would be going to a movie and coming back home at a late hour. My adolescence has been nothing but going to school and going back home, for the rest of the day, and have it all repeat the next day.”
– davepoobond
Hate Mail #23006
Submitted through the Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song submission form.
–
This form was submitted: Nov 18 2003 / 14:24:24
name = Go Smoke A Toilet
song = What the f***
Put my stuff
On this motherf***ing site
Good God, Dave, why don’t you put my motherf***ing stuff
On this motherf***ing site?
Quote #22953
“I’ve always wondered… do you take the stickers off the pencils after you buy them?”
– A customer at davepoobond’s job
Quote #22785
“They owe me a warmer state! And Arizona don’t count!”
– a guy at davepoobond’s job
Quote #22778
“Hello, My name is Shawn and I need to buy a few books still after I bought books for the liberal studies class I’m taking the books I need to get still are: … ”
*insert list of books*
” … and I’m wondering if there are used copies, am I able to rent them for the semester and are they in stock
okay thanks”
– an e-mail from davepoobond’s job
Quote #22742
A girl spent about 10 minutes trying to fix a paper jam for the paperwork she was printing out for me after davepoobond gets his car serviced.
She opens the back of the printer, and for about 30 seconds she is digging in it without being able to look in, and finally she pulls out a piece of paper.
davepoobond: “It’s a boy!”
Obviously she didn’t get it as a joke because her emotional response was not indicative of understanding it as one. And then the printer paper jammed again as more sheets were printing.
– at a car dealer service area
Quote #22741
Old Woman 1 enters the waiting room at a dealer car service place. She comes in and recognizes Old Woman 2 saying something about how she recognizes her and something about church, but davepoobond was not listening intently on that part. Old Woman 1 decides to “introduce” herself after Old Woman 2 doesn’t really recognize her anyway, and denying that she even does the things the Old Woman 1 was saying.
–
Old Woman 1: “Hi! My name is Nancy.”
Old Woman 2: “Oh.”
Old Woman 1: “What’s your name?”
Old Woman 2: “Huh?”
Old Woman 1: “What’s your name?”
–
Old Woman 2 says something about the TV being loud and Old Woman 1 asks like one or two more times, she has to raise her voice but since she’s old, she can’t really.
–
Old Woman 2: “Oh ………………. Louise.”
Old Woman 1: “Oh that’s my real name!”
– at a car dealer service place