Q: Did you hear about the circus fire?
A: It was in tents (intense).
Tag Archives: circus
Joke #18344
Q: What did the accountant do in the circus?
A: He juggled the books.
Quote #16785
Written in the profile field “Occupation:”
“shoveling elephant poop for the circus across the street”
– from the internet
Quote #15900
“I have people in a 3-ring circus”
– Mrs. DYKE
Joke #13027
The human cannon ball told his boss at the circus that he was quitting.
His boss shouted, “You can’t quit. Where would I find another guy of your caliber?”
Joke #12999
AN OLD CIRCUS PROVERB: Never gamble with midgets. They always bet way over their heads.
Joke #11898
Q: What did the little phone want to do when she grew up?
A: Join Ringling Brothers Circus!
Joke #11393
Kevin: What a terrible circus. The knife thrower was the worst!
Anne: Why do you say that? I thought he was great.
Kevin: How could he be great? He threw all those knives at that girl and didn’t hit her once!
Politically Correct Ways to Say Someone is Stupid
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a happy meal.
A few beers short of a six pack.
A few peas short of a casserole.
The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.
One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.
Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Her sewing machine’s out of thread.
His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky’s kinked.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little further apart than most.
Joke #9187
A man is hired by the circus to perform a necessary but rather unpleasant task. He is asked to walk behind the elephants in the center ring, shoveling aside their droppings as they walk about. After a rather difficult evening at work, he goes to the circus cafeteria, sits with other workers, and begins complaining about his work.
“It’s just terrible work, walking behind those huge beasts and first dodging, then shoveling aside the dung they produce. My arms are tired, my shoes and pants are a mess, and I’ll have to shower before I return home, because of the stink.”
His friends at work agree: “Why don’t you just quit this miserable job and find something more rewarding to do. You have to have some skills and talents that you can put to use somewhere else.”
He looks at them, stunned: “You know, you’re probably right, but I just can’t give up the glamour of show business!”