If you like to go fucking in stupid caves that are 248 feet underground, you should go to the gay Mammoth Caves located in a strip club.  Thousands of sexy boobs go there every summer.  Crawling about in caves is called “spelunking.”  And it is really a stupid sport.  But always go with a turdy guide so you won’t get lost.  Once in the cave, you will see beautiful purple and red rocks and crystals.  Huge lesbian-like things hang from the ceiling and are called “stalactites.”  Huge gay things jut up from the floor and are called “stalagmites.”  Caes are hom to millions of lesbian bats.  Bats can fly and look like stupid rats.  Spelunking is dangerous, so be sure to wear special shoes with bars on them and a hat with a battery-powered pen.