“Alcohol or drugs can give you stress”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
Tag Archives: alcohol
Quote #15766
“Get him drunk! Cassio drunk!”
– Ms. Signs
Quote #15478
“I’m down with alcohol”
– from the Radio
Quote #15113
“think young. drink young”
– from the TV
Quote #14769
“Don’t drink & drive. You might hit a bump & spill your beer.”
– from the Internet
Quote #13980
“Mexicans don’t just break in, get drunk, and not steal anything”
– smellybong
Quote #13400
“Andrew? The alcoholic womanizer? What’s HE doing here?”
– From a video game
Joke #13006
“You’re in a terrible state,” the policeman said to the drunk.
“I don’t know about that,” answered the drunk. “New Jersey is no worse than any other place.”
Joke #12943
CONFUCIUS SAY: Coal production companies who pay their workers in moonshine liquor contribute to the delinquency of miners.
Joke #12937
I don’t trust the physician my husband goes to. When the doctor gives him a shot, it comes out of a bottle.
Joke #12920
A man went to see his doctor. The doctor said to him, “Are you following my orders to only have one drink a day, Mr. Jones?”
Mr. Jones replied, “Yes, I am, Doctor. Right now I’m up to March 5, 1985.”
Joke #12874
You have to watch out for lawyers who can’t pass the bar… without stopping in for a martini.
Joke #12860
“Colonel Lee, you’ve had too many juleps,” scolded Mrs. Lee. “Sir, you’re in no condition to go out.”
“That’s not true,” the Colonel argued. “Dear lady, I’ll have you know that I’m in mint condition.”
Joke #12849
A drunk stumbled out of a bar, bumped into a telephone pole, knocked into a trash can, and then fell flat on the sidewalk right in front of an uppity old spinster.
“Sir,” scolded the woman coldly, “if I were in your condition, I’d shoot myself.”
“Lady,” stammered the man, “if you were in my condition, you’d miss.”
Joke #12550
BUSINESSMAN: “I hate gin and vermouth.”
SECRETARY: “Then why do you have twelve martinis for lunch every day?”
BUSINESSMAN: “I can’t help myself. I love olives.”