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Really bad sport!
Chill out grumpy!
Keep working on it!
Almost there!
GOOD SPORT!
Almost too good a sport!
Don’t be so nice!
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha go smoke a guinea pig
You know…
I don’t feel keeping tigers as pets is as cool as it seems
with the meat
and the fur
and the nails
and the teeth…
Is that corn between that tigers teeth?
That tiger has corn between his teeth.
How was that tiger eating corn?
What the hell’s going on here?
It’s not corn?
What it is then?
…pieces of a raincoat?
I’m sorry…I didn’t know.
I smoked a fire hydrant
I smoked a fire hydrant
I smoked a fire hydrant
WHO SMOKED MY PINBALL MACHINE
Why did I smoke the dishwasher
When all I did was eat?
Maybe my speaker blew up
But who knows
Who died
Who died
Who died
Go smoke a Sesame Street
Who died
Who died
Who died
Go shove a paper clip in the computer monitor
My brother is a woman
My sister is a man
My parents are the messed up ones
They are the taliban!
Oh my god!
Dacky is my god!
D.I.M.G! D.I.M.G!
He should be yours too,
So go and take a poo!
Everyone loves poo,
Especially ones that are blue!
I think it’s time
I’m running out of rhymes,
To end this poem.
Remember kids,
ALL HAIL DACKY!
The rain
in Bahrain
is insane
in the membrane.
It causes me pain
to see the rain
in Bahrain.
I fly in my plane
to the plains
of Maine
to escape the rain
in Bahrain.
The plains of Maine
are plain,
but they are not nearly as inane
as the rain
in Bahrain.
I’d like to go to Spain
to escape the rain
in Bahrain.
THE RAIN
IN BAHRAIN
DRIVES ME INSAAAAAAAAAANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There once was a man from ‘Nam
who took tablets to keep him calm
one day he ran out
his legs turned to gout
and now he walks with his arm
It starts as a seed,
That you plant in the ground.
It turns into weed,
Which you smoke from a bong.
It makes you feel strange,
Makes you fidgit and twitch.
It makes you happy and glad,
Makes you want more of it.
You spot your bag and you point,
You look at your friend and you say,
“I’ll light up a joint,
If you pass that my way.”
You lick and you fold,
You pack it in tight.
The joint has been rolled,
It’s a beautiful sight.
You hit that shit up.
Puff, Puff, the smoke flows.
You pass it this way,
As a smile is shone.
A startling sound,
Puts a frown on your face.
Not a knock, but a pound,
Your heart starts to race.
You creep to the door
And slowly take a peek.
Laughing, you fall to the floor,
For it’s only your friend, the Geek.
He’s small as a runt,
But has lungs made for three,
He’s the kid of Big Blunts,
And he’ll smoke em’ for free.
So you invite him on in,
And you give him a chair.
He sparks up a blunt,
Pulls a hit like a bear.
Now down from the attic,
Comes your pal, AL.
He’s got a bottle of plastic,
And it’s full of Vodka.
He’s come to pay rent,
And he only pays in Nuggs.
He lives in your basement,
There he sits and he chugs.
He walks in the room,
And stumbles a bit.
His words are all slurred,
You tell him to sit.
He plops on a chair,
And just sits for a while.
Runs his hands through his hair,
Then begins to smile.
He pulls out an “O”,
Of the number one shit.
Nuggs with a glow,
Time for a hit.
So you pack up the pipe,
And you give it a light.
It smells and tastes good.
It’s a stoner’s delight.
By the end of the night,
When you feel all burnt out,
Smoke one more bowl,
Then pass out on the couch.