A few clowns short of a circus.

A few fries short of a happy meal.

A few beers short of a six pack.

A few peas short of a casserole.

The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.

One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.

One taco short of a combination plate.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

All foam, no beer.

The cheese slid off his cracker.

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

As smart as bait.

Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.

Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.

Forgot to pay his brain bill.

Her sewing machine’s out of thread.

His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.

His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Receiver is off the hook.

Several nuts short of a full pouch.

Skylight leaks a little.

Slinky’s kinked.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little further apart than most.