Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10262: Bloodninja -> j_gurli13

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This entry is part 5 of 13 in the series The Saga of Bloodninja

Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don’t know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i’m a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don’t wear shirts.

j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it’s just part of the game.

Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don’t play games. They fucking charge your ass.

j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.

Bloodninja: It doesn’t get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli13: thats it.

Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

Bloodninja: Fuck am I hard now.

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10261: Bloodninja -> BritneySpears14

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This entry is part 4 of 13 in the series The Saga of Bloodninja

Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja.

Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

Bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

Bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14: Hey…

Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don’t see it.

Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

Bloodninja: Don’t fuck with me biznitch, I’m the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid.

BritneySpears14: Don’t ever message me again you piece.

Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik’s evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it’s getting hard now.

Bloodninja: Baby?

Prank IMs, Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10260: Bloodninja -> MommyMelissa

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This entry is part 3 of 13 in the series The Saga of Bloodninja

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?

MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?

Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?

MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.

Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out

Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.

(pause)

MommyMelissa: is that it?

Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.

Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?

MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables… Can you make it a little more sexy for me?

(pause)

Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach… Sexily.

Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.

MommyMelissa: Grain doesn’t really turn me on… I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.

Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.

Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.

MommyMelissa: …

Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.

MommyMelissa:: What the fuck is this madlibs? I’m outta here.

Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can’t see. Bitch.

MommyMelissa: whatever.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs, Prank IMs

#10259: Bloodninja -> DirtyKate

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This entry is part 2 of 13 in the series The Saga of Bloodninja

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?

DirtyKate: K, but don’t tell anybody 😉

DirtyKate: Who are you?

Bloodninja: I’ve got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot

Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John’s in my Geo Storm.

DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..

Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John’s and make an order

DirtyKate: Haha! OK

DirtyKate: Hello! I’d like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.

Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, “Hello, this is Papa John’s, how may I help you”, then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that’s an X-Large. What toppings do you want?

DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!

Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?

DirtyKate: Umm…Yes

DirtyKate: So you’re bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I’m home alone…and I think I’ll take a shower…

Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I’ll drive to your house.

**pause**

DirtyKate: I’m almost finished with my shower… Hurry up!

Bloodninja: You can’t hurry good pizza.

Bloodninja: I’m on my way now though

**pause**

DirtyKate: So you’re at my front door now.

Bloodninja: How did you know?

Bloodninja: I knock but you can’t hear me cause you’re in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.

Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I’m as hot as a pizza oven

DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I’m all wet and cold. Warm me up baby

Bloodninja: So you’re still in the bathroom?

DirtyKate: Yeah, I’m wrapping a towel around myself.

Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door….

DirtyKate: What the fuck?

DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit

DirtyKate: Fuck

Chat Logs, Prank IMs, Stupid IMs

#10258: Bloodninja -> Sarah19fca

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This entry is part 1 of 13 in the series The Saga of Bloodninja

Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.

Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.

Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.

Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.

Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.

Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.

Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.

Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O’ Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.

Sarah19fca: you like that?

Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.

Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?

Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.

Sarah19fca: Peanuts?

Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.

Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?

Bloodninja: I’m spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.

Sarah19fca: This is stupid.

Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.

Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?

Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.

Sarah19fca: /ignore

Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.

Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

Stupid IMs, Chat Logs

#10257: i300767 -> Fire6water

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I found this.

—————–

i300767: hey

Fire6water: i4842026

i300767: what?

Fire6water: That’s one of my SNs

i300767: y?

Fire6water: I like the whole, one letter, lots of numbers thing

i300767: hehehe

Fire6water: What’s funny?

i300767: nothing i like it too

Fire6water: You like to giggle, eh?

Fire6water: Very Manly

Fire6water: I’m more of a chuckler

Fire6water: The deep, more manly kind of giggle

i300767: only my numbers are are my id #

i300767: yes yes

i300767: hehe

Fire6water: hauh hauh hauh

Fire6water: That’s my deep manly chuckle

i300767: heh heh

Fire6water: My numbers are a password to a secret government website

Fire6water: want the URL?

i300767: hehe

i300767: yea

i300767: ?

Fire6water: okay

Fire6water: http://www.freedic.com

Fire6water: Do you want to buy my soul?

Fire6water: I’m selling it

i300767: how much?

Fire6water: Here is the URL:

Fire6water: I’m only 759

Fire6water: I’m cheap

i300767: oooohh…i think sold!

i300767: hehehe

Fire6water: So, are you going to sell your soul too?

i300767: nope…i need it…i case of emergency…like it would help

Fire6water: What would a soul do you in an emergency?

i300767: i case i…ummm…i dunno

Fire6water: Souls can’t make you fly

Fire6water: A soul cannot give you immortality

i300767: yea…but…i dunno

Fire6water: What makes your soul so special to you?

i300767: nothing

Fire6water: Then why have it around when you can sell it?

i300767: ummm

Fire6water: Can’t think of anything, right?

i300767: nope

Fire6water: Then give your soul to someone who has a use for it

i300767: mine already expired

Fire6water: Expired, eh?

i300767: yup

Fire6water: Just like how my slut papers expired?

i300767: when i got my frist computer

Fire6water: I am no longer an official slut

i300767: yay!

Fire6water: I have to go down to the official slut office and take the test again

Fire6water: It’s quite simple acually

i300767: plz dont.

Fire6water: They give me three guys and I start my work

i300767: hehehe

Fire6water: the papers last for two years

Fire6water: So, I think I’ll go down this weekend. I’m thinking of bringing a few friends down with me

Fire6water: We can do the group test

Fire6water: The best two out of five sluts become official sluts

i300767: heh

Fire6water: I am most defenetly going to make it

i300767: …

Fire6water: I have been a member for 6 years now

i300767: aaahhhh

Fire6water: Oh yeah, you need to meet my new pimp

i300767: oh…who…tj??

Fire6water: I have two now

Fire6water: Michelle and Mat

Fire6water: The M&M comp.

i300767: aahh

Fire6water: They made a few bucks today

i300767: ooh…hehehe

Fire6water: Daniel, he gave them a few bucks for me

i300767: hey can u make that the m&m&m corp?

Fire6water: Sure

i300767: hehehe^_^

i300767: oopps

Fire6water: there’s that giggling again

i300767: wrong font

Fire6water: M&M&M&M comp.

i300767: who is the other one?

Fire6water: Mako

i300767: ooog is she on?

i300767: oooh^

Fire6water: Is she on what? This earth? Yes.

i300767: no…aim

Fire6water: How can you be on AIM?

Fire6water: She can be online

Fire6water: And be using AIM

i300767: is she?

Fire6water: But she can’t be ON AIM

Fire6water: Yes, she is

i300767: what?

i300767: what sn?

Fire6water: Sore wa himitsu desu

i300767: what?

Fire6water: That is a secret ^.~ b

i300767: damn her!

i300767: damn them all

i300767: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fire6water: Damn the world

i300767: hehehe!

Fire6water: there is that giggling, yet again.

i300767: yes yes

Fire6water: So it’s double words now?

i300767: its a metaphorical figuitive expression of the way my brian wave transfer

i300767: to the mucelse in my fingers

Fire6water: Understandable

i300767: hehehe

Fire6water: that damn giggling is getting annoying

i300767: oh…

i300767: ill stop when i get to speak to Mako!!

i300767: GRRR!!!!

Fire6water: grrr… *shake my fist*

i300767: *^@*^%J&^$I&I^KUM^#

Fire6water: Oh, you want her SN? Why didn’t you say so

Fire6water: GoblinSorceress

Fire6water: There ya go

i300767: oh yes i want it

i300767: ok…hehe

i300767: ooops

Fire6water: No ‘hehe’

i300767: yes sorry

Fire6water: I was drunk last night

i300767: ?

Fire6water: I was acting different than usual

i300767: oh

Fire6water: My bf was very happy after the night was through

Fire6water: ~.^ b

i300767: ooooohh

Fire6water: Yes, I sang contry, his favorite. That’s what we did all night. Karaoke.

i300767: oh…ok

Fire6water: I sang: Baby I’m amazed by you

Fire6water: One of his favorites

i300767: oh! i thought you did something else

Fire6water: Like what?

i300767: nm