davepoobond: hey boyeee

davepoobond: i saw Black Knight

Holmes: hey monster truck man

davepoobond: it was horrible

Holmes: was it good?

Holmes: figures

davepoobond: it wasn’t nearly as funny as it was supposed to be

davepoobond: it started out with martin lawrence being a jackass

davepoobond: and that was kinda funny

davepoobond: but then he goes through “this magical journey that ends up being a dream”

davepoobond: and everything changes for him

davepoobond: yadda yadda yadda

davepoobond: do good here do good there inside the dream

Holmes: thansk for telling me the story

Holmes: asshole

davepoobond: my pleasure

Holmes: j/k

Holmes: i wasn’t going to see it

davepoobond: well it has some funny stuff, but not too much to make you laugh out loud

davepoobond: kinda like a “heh”

Holmes: oh

davepoobond: its so stupid, this black guy talking about stuff now, and he knows he’s in the 14th century

Holmes: blue streak was pretty funny

davepoobond: yeah it was

davepoobond: but that was made to be funny. this was made to teach a lesson

Holmes: big momma’s house = eh

davepoobond: its like a family movie with cuss words in it basically

davepoobond: and a black guy

davepoobond: you dont see many family movies with black guys in it unless its an all black cast

Holmes: true

Holmes: life was funny…with eddie murphy and martin lawrence

davepoobond: everyone was white in the movie most of the time except, of course, the lady he tries to get it with

davepoobond: there just HAPPENED to be another black girl in england

Holmes: coincidence?

davepoobond: it took about a half an hour in the beginning for him to realize he was in the 14th century

Holmes: hahaha

davepoobond: such a waste of time

Holmes: but i know the number 1 movie i want to see

Holmes: Like Mike

Holmes: (major sarcasm)

davepoobond: oh man

davepoobond: i almost screamed everytime i saw previews for it

Holmes: oh man….

Holmes: and i thought i was the only one

davepoobond: and i think there was this one sentence that i always heard that i repeated

davepoobond: every single time

Holmes: “please let me be……..like mike”

davepoobond: i forgot what it was though…

davepoobond: yeah what the hell

davepoobond: stupid sneakers

davepoobond: they’ve been on a telephone wire for 20 years

davepoobond: God knows how it got up there in the first place

davepoobond: don’t you think itd be kinda nasty putting your foot into that thing

Holmes: it took about 20 hours for a kid in pakistan to finish making those sneakers for Nike

davepoobond: at least those kids are working

davepoobond: unlike the lazy children here

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: all children should be put to work! just like before the progressives spoiled everything

Holmes: damn progressives

Holmes: !

davepoobond: yeah! making everything today become the standard of what we want everyday. damn them for making us so picky

Holmes: damn them for wanting our drinks: “shaken…..not stirred!”

Holmes: or our meat not rare or well done, but medium!

davepoobond: i dont think they did that…

davepoobond: what they did was actually guarantee that the meat was actually meat

davepoobond: etc. etc.

Holmes: well they should go to mcdonalds

Holmes: and guarrentee THATS meat

davepoobond: its meat, we just dont know what from

Holmes: because i don’t know if I’m eating a timberland boot or rat meat for the chicken nuggets

davepoobond: chicken nuggets are pretty nasty….but at least it isn’t made of soy

davepoobond: have you ever had soy chicken nuggets?

Holmes: yuck no!

davepoobond: i did

davepoobond: worse than anything you can imagine

davepoobond: un-be-lievable

Holmes: i think the worst thing i’ve ever eaten was encore frozen hamburgers

Holmes: it tasted like it was creating a colony of shit on your toungue

Holmes: and the taste would not come out no matter what!

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: I COULD DRINK LISTERINE AND IT WOULDN’T COME OFF!

Holmes: i ended up throwing up

Holmes: even the throw up tasted better then the burgers

Holmes: but you probablly didn’t want to hear that

davepoobond: it comes to wonder, how people even market that shit and pretend like they’re gonna make money

davepoobond: what do they think we are?

Holmes: idiotic fat americans who spend money on anything that sounds good

davepoobond: yeah, and they milk it for all that products worth until it stops making money, and then they move onto their next shitty product

davepoobond: like Diet Soda

Holmes: y – u – c – k

Holmes: Pepsi One

Holmes: Diet pepsi

Holmes: Diet caffeine free pepsi

Holmes: Diet coke

Holmes: Diet coke with lemon twist

davepoobond: diet 7 up

Holmes: diet sprite

davepoobond: diet cherry pepsi

davepoobond: diet cherry coke

davepoobond: diet cherry 7 up

Holmes: diet vanilla coke

Holmes: diet dew

Holmes: diet dr. pepper

davepoobond: this is a sad world we live in when there’s more than 4000 different sodas to chose from

Holmes: and the biggest problem in this world is choosing between the two rivals

Holmes: coke

Holmes: or

Holmes: pepsi

davepoobond: there’s also RC

davepoobond: but no one gives a shit about them

Holmes: RC….i haven’t had a cola from them in a long ass time

davepoobond: they don’t sell it anywhere but in the middle of the desert at a garage with a vending machine 20 years old

Holmes: ever try moxy?

davepoobond: the hell?

Holmes: moxy is the first original “soda”

davepoobond: i thought it was 7 up

Holmes: it’s uncarbonated and has almost no sugar

davepoobond: oh.

Holmes: wait

davepoobond: that’s not a soda

Holmes: it’s carbonated

Holmes: sorry

Holmes: forget i said that

davepoobond: k

davepoobond: y’mean club soda?

Holmes: no

Holmes: but my cousin drank some

Holmes: he said it hits your toungue like a 2000 pound bitter anvil

Holmes: gotta go

davepoobond: k bye

davepoobond: lol i got this file that was supposed to be metallica covering pearl jam – jeremy. but its just 3 guys being idiots and singing the whole thing with the actual song. but i like it!

Holmes: lol

davepoobond: but it was pretty good

davepoobond: you can barely hear the music though

Holmes: i downloaded a music video a while ago, i forgot who it was, but it ended up being a porn

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: was it a good porn?

Holmes: pissed me off

Holmes: no

davepoobond: what kind

Holmes: it was a guy jerkin off on a girls face

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: i mean you would think he would get a blowjob off of her but no, he decided to beat his shit

davepoobond: what was she doing just sitting there or somethin

davepoobond: kneeling down “yes ejaculate on me!”

Holmes: she didn’t say anything, she was on her knees with her eye’s closed waiting for it to rain cum

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: the guy was moaning…he sounded like an elephant

davepoobond: omg thats hilarious

Holmes: “ERRRRRRHHHM HAVEN’T USED THIS IN A WHILE”

davepoobond: did you watch the whole thing

Holmes: it was like 15 seconds

davepoobond: did he get off though

Holmes: yeah

Holmes: then it ended

davepoobond: was the girls expression like =-O

Holmes: no she had the same expression the whole time

Holmes: eyes closed

Holmes: head up

davepoobond: not smiling or anything?

Holmes: waiting for jiz shower

Holmes: even when it happened

Holmes: nope

davepoobond: wut a stupid porn

Holmes: i know

Holmes: deleted it right after i got it

davepoobond: did he have a small weinieee

Holmes: i didn’t measure

Holmes: nor did i care

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: but i think it was average

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: average

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: i’m not the cockexpert

davepoobond: i saw this ridiculous movie

davepoobond: called “message in a voice mail”

davepoobond: it was a family movie

davepoobond: kinda thing

davepoobond: on HBO Family

davepoobond: this stupid kid finds this fat guy’s cell phone, and when he goes to his hotel room to return it to him, he hears the guy getting shot “and also his father’s name”

davepoobond: and this little kid was so annoying

davepoobond: his face

davepoobond: my god, i never saw such a stupid face

Holmes: lol

davepoobond: its like a cross between macauly culkin’s screaming face

davepoobond: and some other thing

davepoobond: like a kid that has been molested

davepoobond: many times

davepoobond: and he has 2 stupid friends

davepoobond: one asshole

davepoobond: and this fat kid

davepoobond: that isn’t really that fat

davepoobond: but he is

davepoobond: and he wears glasses

davepoobond: and he always has a lollipop

davepoobond: and the “popular hangout” is the pool at this hotel

davepoobond: all these kinda hot girls were actually there

davepoobond: and the first 10 or 15 minutes of the movie

davepoobond: was just them being assholes

davepoobond: and pushing girls in bikinis into the pool

davepoobond: and that stupid asshole friend “breakdances” and shit

davepoobond: and theres like all these scenes of him following right behind all these hot girls underwater

Holmes: wow

davepoobond: and then after about 7 of those

davepoobond: he’s gettin chased by a fat girl in a one piece

davepoobond: the same way

davepoobond: goddamn its so stupid

davepoobond: he missed like the vital 2 minutes of the movie though, so i didnt understand the rest of the movie that much

davepoobond: something about like they had to crack the code or something

davepoobond: man

davepoobond: it sucked

davepoobond: another movie that sucked: Chrome and Hot Leather

davepoobond: check it out

davepoobond: it was made in 1970

davepoobond: its about a biker gang

Holmes: too many damn bad movies

davepoobond: and in that family movie

davepoobond: they only had one song

davepoobond: as their soundtrack

davepoobond: it was a punk song

davepoobond: they played it at the beginning, and at the end

davepoobond: it was supposed to make it seem like those 3 kids were really cool

davepoobond: cuz they were breakdancing and shit

davepoobond: but they really werent breakdancing

Holmes: wow

Holmes: sounds horrible

davepoobond: it is

Holmes: HORRIBLE

davepoobond: i cant even explain why someone would write something like this

davepoobond: unless they had a similar experience

davepoobond: and the acting is purely laughable

davepoobond: its one of the funniest movies i’ve ever seen

davepoobond: and all through the movie, its like “what the hell is the mom doing, she’s so stupid”

davepoobond: she’s aware of the problem, but she doesn’t care to find out about it

davepoobond: and this guys dad is in jail

davepoobond: man its just so stupid

davepoobond: you and me baby aint nothin but mammals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel doo be doo be doooo…

Holmes: what the

davepoobond: what?

Holmes: hold on brb

davepoobond: k

Holmes: ok

Holmes: that was the worst pickup line ever

davepoobond: heh. its a song

Holmes: well

Holmes: thats the worst song

Holmes: ever

davepoobond: no it isnt

davepoobond: its a funny song

Holmes: oh it’s a comedy song?

davepoobond: not really

davepoobond: its not made for comedy

davepoobond: its like an actual song

davepoobond: made by an actual band

davepoobond: bloodhound gang – the bad touch

Holmes: oh

Holmes: well it’s a bad song but funny

davepoobond: u got it already?

Holmes: no i might

Holmes: i have too many damn songs on my computer

Holmes: 3 people using this computer and 3 different kinds of music

Holmes: rap, hard rock and techno

davepoobond: good techno or shitty techno

Holmes: good techno