Did you hear about the student who was so bad, he came home from school with a note demanding a good excuse for his presence?
Joke #12576
TEACHER: “Smith, who shot Abraham Lincoln?”
SMITH: “Ask someone else, I’m no squealer.”
Joke #12575
It’s not easy teaching school these days. The students are so tough, they keep the teachers after school.
Joke #12574
The richest family in town has a dog who’s so fussy, he eats nothing but imported dog food.
Joke #12573
“Why is your dog so mean?”
“When he was sick, he ate a lot of crab grass.”
Joke #12572
Either my dog doesn’t have fleas or he’s just too lazy to scratch them.
Joke #12571
Then there was the rich poodle who didn’t bury his bones. He kept them in a burial vault.
Joke #12570
Have you heard about the dog who was so slow that he brought his master yesterday’s paper?
Joke #12569
“Does your dog speak when he wants a bone?”
“No, he barks just like an ordinary dog.”
Joke #12568
MAN (in pet store): “What’s the difference between a mutt and a pedigreed dog?”
PET STORE OWNER: “About a hundred fifty dollars.”
Joke #12567
Did you hear about the poodle who was so rich that his master hired a mutt to chase cats for him?
Joke #12566
There’s one thing I hate about my dog — he’s chicken. Whenever there’s a thunderstorm, he scoots under my bed to hide. And there’s not enough room under there for both of us.
Joke #12565
My dog is so lazy, he only chases parked cars.
Joke #12564
My pet dog is so bad, last week he was expelled from obedience school.
Joke #12563
My dog is so lazy, you have to wag his tail for him.