I feel as uncomfortable as a polar bear under a sun lamp.
Joke #13049
I feel as uncomfortable as a whale in a sardine can.
Joke #13048
I feel as out of place as a tailor in a nudist colony.
Joke #13047
I feel as out of place as a hockey player in the Sahara Desert.
Joke #13046
Nobody likes me. Even birds ignore my feeder.
Joke #13045
I’m so frail that the last time someone kicked sand in my face, the grains knocked me out cold.
Joke #13044
I’m a man who can live by bread alone. I can’t even afford butter.
Joke #13043
If I decided to write a novel about all the exciting things that happened to me during my life I’d end up with a short story.
Joke #13042
I would never get cloned. I wouldn’t want to make another fool of myself.
Joke #13041
Nobody cares what happens to me. I’m the only pedestrian in New York with a license to jaywalk.
Joke #13040
I put down synthetic turf so I wouldn’t have to cut the grass. Last fall, I burned some leaves and melted my lawn.
Joke #13039
What rotten luck I have! Would you believe it? My birthday is April 1st.
Joke #13038
The other day I went to a gypsy to hear about my future. She said I didn’t have one.
Joke #13037
My uncle, the Godfather, treats me like a dog. When other people go to see him, he gives them his hand to kiss. When I go to see him, he gives me his boot to lick.
Joke #13036
Last summer I took my family to Sequoia National Park to see giant redwood trees. Seeing them didn’t excite my family, but they gave our dog a heart attack.