Category Archives: Poetry and Songs

Poetry and songs. Funny and serious.

Snorky Man

This song has no melody. its pointless and meaningless…that’s why we like it!

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Snork Smurf fart poo kitty cow man ass. Soup is a good source of comanche buffallo chips. Suck on my chihuaha snort snort meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

snacky cow cosmetic face ass mondy guitar strings. Monkey crap is good for the soul. Stroke yourself up the hair, act as if you don’t really care. Snarky crow poopoopoopoopoo. Snacrkcasd. Orange juice titties. Meow. Sorky talk mooooooooooooooo. Cereal calculator doggy doodoo. Sexy pirate alien man.

Ode to Me

I like me

And I am cool

Because I don’t have to pay a fee

Even though I don’t have a pool.

I like closets

That are full of boxes

And when I look through it (there are)

Boxes full of foxes

I don’t like my school agenda

I would like to burn it

For firewood, of course-a

And toss it into a pit

I don’t like algebra

All I ever do is erase

And write out problems with a hyperbola

And pretty soon it’s a face

I have a bad memory

Though I could remember to do this

And bring my stuff from me

in the past, like this

The Adiboo Commercial Song Lyrics

this is a transcription of the theme song to words, through memory…it may not be exact. If you want to know what the fuck Adiboo was, it was a kids software program. Adiboo was an alien kid or something.

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Adiboo

Adiboo

Always got a lotta things to do!

 

Best of all

its up to you!

with a cool cool pal called

Adiboo!

 

Who does the building? (I do I do)

Who does the driving? (I dooooooo!)

Its me and you

and you and me

and me and you and ADIBOO!

 

Ooo, ooo! Oooo!

(legal junk said really fast)

Adiboo!

Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers TV Theme Song Lyrics

this is a transcription of the theme song to words, through memory…it may not be exact

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Sometimes, some crimes

Go slippin’ through the cracks

But these two

gumshoes

Are pickin’ up the slack

 

There’s no case too big!

no case too small!

When you need help just call

 

Ch-ch-ch-Chip ‘n Dale!!

Rescue Rangers–

Ch-ch-ch-Chip ‘n Dale–

When there’s danger

 

Oh no, it never fails

Once they’re involved

somehow, whatever clues there are

its solved!

 

Ch-ch-ch-Chip ‘n Dale.

Ch-ch-ch-CHIP AND DALLEEEEEE!!!

Jingle Bells Song #7210: Jingle Balls

Jingle Balls

Jingle Balls

run across a field

oh what fun

it is to run

free-balling all the way

hey!

 

Jingle Balls

Jingle Balls

swing across a tree

Now you’re like George of the Jungle

‘cept the squirrels gave you rabies

hey!

 

Jingle Balls

Jingle Balls

walk into a seven-eleven

they won’t want you to be there

you’re bad for business

and they don’t want to be gay

hey!

The I Found a Penny Song

(this song is made, so that you sing it after you find a penny. if you dont find a penny, replace “penny” with another name of a coin. You can make your own beat)

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I found a penny

I found a penny

Oh look at me

I have a penny

I have a penny

I have a penny

because you don’t

you don’t have a penny

I found

a penny on the floor

floor

underneath your door

I am now one penny richer

but you are the same penny rich

you did not

get any pennies off the floor

An Erasing We Will Go

Parody of the song “A Hunting We Will Go”

——————–

Erase Erase Erase

Erase Erase Erase

Hi-ho-themerry-oh

an Erasing we will go

Going to erase some bears

Going to erase some bears

Hi-ho-the-merry-oh

an Erasing we will go

Going to shoot a tiger

Going to shoot a tiger

Hi-ho-the-merry-oh

an Eraser can be a gun

oh no oh no oh no

I got arrested by

the African police department

The Appliance Song

Toaster Strudel, put it in a toaster

Pop some popcorn, put it in a fahkin microwave

Cook some meat, put it on a motha fuckin barbecue!

Chorus:

Appliances

Appliances

Nothing like you haven’t already seen!

Appliances

Appliances

Nothing like you haven’t already seen!

Toss a blender in the street

Cause it cut off your feet

Then you

Can sue

The motha fucka that made the frickin thing!

Chorus x3

(end)

The Ugly Bunch

Parody of “The Brady Bunch” theme song

———————

Here’s a story

Of an ugly lady

Too bad this ho

Did not know

That her daughters were ugly

 

Here’s a story

Of a smelly man

Who you can’t stay

10 seconds with

or else you would suffocate and die

I wouldn’t wanna be his kids

 

Then One day this ugly lady met this smelly fellow

And they knew it was much more than a hunch

that this group of ugly people

would make a great ugly bunch

so they got married the next day

and thank God for that

now no one, has to marry those 2 ugly people now

 

THE UGLY BUUUNNCHH!!!

THE UGLY BUNCH

 

That’s the way they became the ugly bunch

 

THE UGLY BUNCH!

THE UGLY BUNCH!

 

Oh did we mention we had an ugly maid also?

The Way Hamsters Think I Am

Parody of “The Way I Am,” by Eminem

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Whatever…

 

Bro, just let pee run…

 

Hey yo, i’m the person they beat up a little bit…

 

Hey yo, this song is for anyone……that likes hamsters

 

Hey yo…what a stupid phrase

 

I sit back, with this six pack of Pepsi and this bag of these weeds from the garden,

it gives me the shit i need to be the most meanest hamster owner on this…

on this earth…and since birth I’ve been cursed with this cursed hamster

to just curse and just curse these weirdos that like hamsters and bizarre shit like that REALLY works,

and i sell my services and to relieve all this tension, i shoot the hamsters

 

Dispensing these hamsters, getting the bags

that’s been eatin’ my money recently out of my pockets.

 

And I rest again peacefully…

On my stupid little couch in the middle of the room

and ask to just leave me alone when you see freaks like me out

in the streets when I’m eatin’ or feedin’ my ashtray

to not come and donate money to me.

I don’t know you and no, I don’t want your money

i’m not a homeless man. I’m not Mister poor-o.

 

I’m not what your friends think.

I’m not Mister Unfriendly. I can be a crook.

If you tip me in my little empty cup on the corner.

 

No patience is in me and if you offend me,

with 5 little pennies…flyin through the air.

I don’t care who was there and who saw me destroy you.

I’ll, call you a lawyer. Insult your clawed suit.

 

I’ll smile in the courtroom and flick you off, then run like a goat.

I’m tired of all you penny-givers. I don’t want to be mean

but that’s all I can be. thats just the way it is.

 

And I am, whatever hamsters say I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

Radio won’t even say hamsters.

‘Cause, thats just the way hamsters think I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

I don’t know it’s just the way the hamsters think I am.

 

Sometimes I just feel like my mother. I hate to be dead…

with all of this weird things that actually make sense.

 

It’s constant and “Oh, it’s his maniacal jump rope.”

The song “Milky Chocolate” has gotten such rotten responses.

And all of this griping circles me

and it seems like the media immediately

points a finger in my ass…and records it

 

So I point one back at ’em but not the middle or pinky

or the ring or the thumb. It’s the one you put up

when you tell people to “git” when you just put up

with the bullshit they pull ’cause they fill the hamsters full of shit too.

 

When a guy is gettin bullied and shoots up your school with farts

they dont blame it on the telletubbies…and the heroin

where were the parents at? And look at where their hat is…

 

Under America

now it’s a tragedy

now it’s so sad to see

an upper-class hamster

having shit stuck up their ears.

Then attack me, while on the street

’cause I wrap presents this way.

 

But I’m glad ’cause they feed me the rabies

that I need for the fire in the oil drum to burn,

and it’s burnin’ and I have been burned too…

 

And I am, whatever hamsters say I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

Radio won’t even say hamsters.

‘Cause, thats just the way hamsters think I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

I don’t know it’s just the way the hamsters think I am.

 

I’m so sick and tired of not bein’ admired

that I wish that I would just live or get hired

and get droppings from a bird on my nose. Let’s stop with the folding of the tables.

I’m not goin’ to be able to put this on top of a hamster.

And pigeon-holes that keep pooping on me

that got me in rotation around getting kicked out of all the rock-n-roll stations, everyday

 

And I just do not got the patients…

to deal with these stupid hamsters

who think I’m some poonis who just tries to be green

’cause I dont talk with an accent and rip off all my balls.

 

So they always keep askin’ the same fuckin’ questions…

Where did I go to learn this stuff? What did I grow up in?

The why, the who what, when the where and the how

’til I’m grabbin’ their hair and I’m tearin’ it out.

 

You’ve been drivin’ me crazy. I just can’t take it.

I’m slicin’ I’m dicin’. I stand then I sit on a pooing hamster.

And I’m thankful for every hamster that I get to kill

but I can’t take a shit in the bathroom

without worrying about the stain…

 

You knew I won’t put deodorant on

you can call me an asshole, cuz i killed your hamster. I’m glad.

 

And I am, whatever hamsters say I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

Radio won’t even say hamsters.

‘Cause, thats just the way hamsters think I am.

If I wasn’t, then why would they say I am?

 

On the paper, the news, everyday they poo.

I don’t know it’s just the way the hamsters think I am.

Sometimes I just feel like my mother. I hate to be dead…

with all of this weird things that actually make sense.

 

(end)

POP! Goes the Weasel Part 2

Sung to the original version of the song “POP! Goes the Weasel”

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One day i was hunting through the forest

I saw a weasel

so i popped it in the head!

POP! GOES THE WEASEL!

 

then i saw a monkey trying to chase the weasel

i thought it was trying to take my food

so i popped it in the stomach!

POP! GOES THE MONKEY!

 

I only wish i hadnt shot the monkey!

cuz it was an endangered species!

now im in a jail!

somewhere in the Rainforest!

 

My gun was taken away from me!

Then someone thought they should pop me!

then they shot me in the leg!

POP! GOES THE HUNTER!

 

Then i got mad and kicked them all in the balls!

then i got my gun and popped them all in the head

what a mess…

POP! GOES THE WEIRD RAINFOREST INDIAN PEOPLE!

 

i went home and my wife was thinking about getting a devorse!

then i got my gun and popped her in the boob!

oh boy……i didnt know it was silicone….

POP! GOES MY WIFE’S BOOB!

 

(end)

Gasper, The Smelly Ghost

Parody of “Casper the Friendly Ghost”

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Gasper! The smelly ghost!

the smelliest ghost you know!

what’s that stink?

did someone fart?

 

Nope!

 

Its Gasper, the smelly ghost!

the smelliest ghost you know!

He can beat Pop the Magic Dragon

In one breath, cuz popcorn

makes Gasper burp

like a furp…

 

Cuz he’s…

 

GASPER! The smelly ghost!

the smelliest ghost you know!

he floats all day

and lysol spray

can’t stop him today

 

cuz he’s Gasper, the smelly GHOOOOOOOOOOOOST!

I Watch TV With My Eyes Closed

Parody of “Wendy Clear,” by Blink-182

———————-

I watch TV with my eyes closed

Is there something on that I should watch?

Sounds like Oprah

There must be a hemaphrodite stripping

I think I won’t watch

 

I watch TV with my eyes closed

 

Is there something on that I should watch?

I doubt it, must be Regis and Kathy Lee

They’re probably jumping all over the place

or maybe on Kathy Lee’s head

I think I won’t watch

 

Oprah, Regis and Kathy Lee, Smurfs, and Care Bears

Alvin and the Chipmunks

A stupid movie about a dog, trying to find his ass

No wonder, they all suck

They must all smoke pot

I guess I won’t watch

 

I watch with my eyes closed

The Yogurt Song

Sung to no song. Entertain yourself and make a tune yourself.

———————

ohhhhhhh

 

this is a story about yogurt!

 

yyyoooo gurt

 

yyyooo gurt

 

it comes from milk that comes from a cow

 

not milk from a dick that comes from a man

 

ooooohhh

 

yyyoooogguurrt

 

yyooo gurt

 

yo yo yo yo gurt

 

it comes from milk that comes from a cow

 

not milk from a dick that comes from a funny little man that was caught in a bear trap in the woods

 

oooonnn

 

Maaarrsss

 

ooooohhhh

 

Iraq sucks dick and everyone knows

 

dat suddam sucks da yogurt that come from milk from a funny little man that was caught in a bear trap in the woods at night

 

oooonnn

 

Maaarrss

 

OOOHH that’s the end of this funny little song

 

that tells the story about yyyooogguurrtt

 

yyoooguurrtt

 

that comes from milk that comes from a cow

 

not milk from a dick that comes from a funny little man that was caught in a bear trap in the woods on Mars during an alien abduction!

 

THEEEE EEEEEEEEENNNNNNDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

Enter Peaman

Parody of “Enter Sandman,” by Metallica

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Say your prayers little one

Don’t forget my son

You got to eat every one

 

I scoop you in

Warm within

Keep you free from him

Till the Peaman, he comes

 

Eat with your mouth open

Guarding your pile of peas

 

Step on them

Squish them all

Take a spoon

And stick it in your donkey’s mouth

 

Somethings wrong

Close your mouth

Heavy peas tonight

And they aren’t green beans

 

Dreams of peas

Dreams of poos

Dreams of rusty spoons

And the things that will eat

 

Eat with your mouth open

Guarding your pile of peas

 

Step on them

Squish them all

Take a spoon

And stick it in your donkey’s mouth

 

Now i sit me down to eat

Pray that bum my spoon to keep

And if I eat before I die

Pray that bum my peas to fry

 

Hush little baby

Don’t eat that pea

And never mind that pea you dropped

It likes to grow under your feet

And gives you peas for you to eat

 

Eat with your mouth open

Guarding your pile of peas

 

Step on them

Squish them all

Take a spoon

And stick it in your donkey’s mouth!