Category Archives: (C) Funny Poem

Where? There!

Written in conjunction with miss lovable hyper lil mandy!

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where?

 

there!

 

there? why there? why not thar

 

cuz there is over there

 

but then there is over where?

but there

so where is there?

there is no there

but if there is no there

then are we nowhere?

 

sure

i’m a pumpkin

 

im a cat

 

i’m pumpkin pie

 

im a kitty pie

no wait!

cutie pie!

 

i’m poop

 

and im the digestive system!

 

ulcers ulcers, everywhere

Glenn’s Poem

Girls give table dances you just can’t miss

yet the hallways in the club stank like piss

Everyone wonders what the Rock is cooking

A fly flew into the pot when the Rock wasn’t looking

Mickey Mouse is gay and everyone chooses to kiss his butt

He’s been with Minnie for years and still ain’t bust a nut

You always see him with kids but, never condoms

and he has the nerve to call his place the “Magic Kingdom”

Kids flock to him only wanting fun

until he removed his head…It was Michael Jackson

The little kids ran away sad

MJ warned the kids when he said “I’m Bad”

Do you remember the time when we fell in love?

Now, you know why he only wears one glove.

Even though MJ seems kind…

Dont let him come up from behind!

I wouldn’t let him near a kid of mine

Should have know that man had troubles…

When he named his monkey…Bubbles

but MJ gets in the mood when he see’s his monkey, bubbles

thats when he goes to look for kids to play

and after looking all day

He gave me a check in which I deposit

I told what he really did in the Closet

He’s world famous and has trunks full of cash

yet, he spends his time chasing a little boy’s ass

neither can Bill when Monica is between his knees

I know Monica will never forget this….giving blowjobs in the Oral..err Oval Office

The Ice Cream Poem

Ice Cream Ice Cream

Oh how i love Ice cream.

I take my spoon

and smile like a bafoon.

I dip my spoon in,

letting the fun begin.

I swallow the sweet ice

making me feel so nice.

I dip the spoon another time,

eating like i commited a crime.

I eat silently, going faster and faster,

leaving the area around me an ice cream disaester!

Ice cream on my lips and all over my face…

eating ice cream like it was a race.

The cold solid touching my toungue,

I worry about my arteries; Thank god i’m young!

I should stop eating for god’s sake!

Thats when i started getting a headache.

My head felt as it was about to explode,

oh boy was that ice cream cold.

I rushed to the cabinet to get some tylenol

i felt like i was about to fall.

I took the medicine and felts better,

although my face was a lot redder.

My headache was really bad,

it was getting me mad.

My sister snook in to take a peek,

she let out a small yell: “Eeek!”

I kicked the carton of ice cream,

and it hit her in the face; she screamed.

Ice Cream Ice Cream

Oh how I hate Ice Cream.

My Belly Button

My Belly Button is in a pop-out way.

I can sit there and look at it all day!

It’s big and full of grey lint..

that stuffs pretty good, it takes like mint.

If I squeeze my belly, it looks like a butt….

I showed it to my brothers…they kneed me in the gut…

I had pain for like the next 7 days

they bruised my belly button, the doctor says…

The doc put bandages over my belly

an he put cream that was really smelly…

My belly button was fine in a week

while my brothers kept calling me a geek

they said with the bandages I looked like a mummy

but they didn’t notice they were removed, what dummies…

So now I have my belly button back

and now I have lint for a snack!

If I Had Three Wishes

If I had 3 wishes

It’d be superb-o-licious!

I’d wish for a car

that would bring me near and far.

Until it ran out of gas

that’d be a pain in the ass…

But I could fart in the gas tank

which would make it STANK

but it would run

like a bullet from a gun!

I’d wish for a door

just like the one at the dollar store.

I could slam into the door

and then do it more and more!

I could ram my head at a 100 miles an hour

but don’t worry about the door: it only cost a dollar…

My last wish would be

the wish that left me with glee…

I would wish for the best thing of all

and nothing you could buy at the mall…

my last and final wish would be…

that I could wish for more wishes: exactly 3!