Q: What did the nervous wrestler say?
A: “I’ve got to get a hold on myself.”
Q: What did the nervous wrestler say?
A: “I’ve got to get a hold on myself.”
It was the night of a big basketball game when a couple walked up to the Madison Square Garden box office. The man asked the ticket seller, “Do you have two tickets for tonight’s game?”
The clerk replied, “I’m sorry, but we’re sold out except for standing room only!”
The man then asked, “Are they together?”
Q: Why do hobos who play football make great pass receivers?
A: Because they know every down-and-out pattern in the book.
Another baseball first happened yesterday in New York City. Umpires decided to call a night baseball game on account of daylihgt.
I don’t hit my balls into the water traps because I’m a duffer. It’s just that I’m a neat golfer and I like to keep them clean.
MAN: “Hey! I broke seventy on nine holes today!”
GOLF PRO: “Wow! that’s a lot of clubs to break.”
Q: What’s the first requirement for bowling?
A: Being strong enough to lift the ball of course.
Q: Where does a pig play golf?
A: On the sausage links, of course!
It’s easy to tell if a pitcher is throwing spit balls… The catcher will be wearing a raincoat and galoshes.
Did you hear about the dumb sports fan who thought the St. Louis Cardinals were managed by the Pope?
Have you heard about the boxer who became a puppeteer and staged “Punchy and Judy” shows?
“Hey, I had great luck today. I shot three birdies.”
“I didn’t know you were a golfer.”
“I’m not. I’m a hunter.”
COACH: “Kronsky, you’re overweight. You spend too much time at the dinner table.”
PLAYER: “Coach, it’s not the minutes I spend at the table that puts all of this weight on me. It’s the seconds.
Did you hear about the umpire who kept home plate so clean, you could eat off it?
“My brother, the gymnast, stands on his hands all day.”
“Your brother always did do everything backwards.”