Did you hear about the dumb chef who joined the submarine service because he wanted to learn how to make sandwiches?
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #12086
An Air Force fighter pilot radioed the tower the following: “Pilot to tower. Plane on fire. Almost out of fuel and I’m over the ocean 75 miles out at 900 feet. Radio me instructions. What should I do?”
To which the tower replied: “Base to pilot. Repeat after me …. Our Father, who art in heaven ….”
Joke #12085
GENERAL: “Soldier, why didn’t you salute me? Do you know what this star on my shoulder means?”
ROOKIE: “Yep! It means you did good in school today.”
Joke #12084
REPORTER (to general): “What about this weapon you have? Can you tell us about it?”
GENERAL: “It’s the X-nine machine gun. it shoots a hundred rounds a minute, which is faster than my wife can talk.”
Joke #12083
OVERHEARD: “I’ll tell you how old the first sergeant is. He knew General Custer when he was only corporal.”
Joke #12082
Back from a 20-mile hike, one GI said to another, “My feet are barking so much, they sound like feeding time in the dog pound.”
The other soldier nodded slowly. “Mine too. Whoever said an Army travels on it’s stomach had a poor judgment of anatomy.”
Joke #12081
A gal was out with a soldier when she pointed to the stripe on his arm and asked, “What does P.F.C. mean?”
The soldier answered, “Praying For Civilians.”
Joke #12080
SAILOR ONE: “What would you do if you were the admiral?”
SAILOR TWO: “I would sell all the ships, fire all you guys, and move to Death Valley so I wouldn’t have to see water anymore.”
Joke #12079
Did you hear about the egotistical sailor who had “I Love Me” tattooed on his arm?
Joke #12078
A soldier was back home after spending nine months in the Army. His mother asked, “How is the food in the Army?”
Her son replied, “Real bad, Mom. Why some times I could only go back for seconds.”
Joke #12077
CAPTAIN: “Private, you were supposed to be back from your furlough two weeks ago. What happened?”
PRIVATE: “It was such a nice day I decided to walk.”
Joke #12076
One good thing about being in the armed forces — you never have to figure out what to wear.
Joke #12075
PFC. MARY JONES: “You’re the last man I would marry.”
PVT. JOEY SMITH: “How many are ahead of me?”
Joke #12074
An M.P. had just finished his meal in the mess hall when the mess sergeant asked him, “Have you tried the meatballs?”
The soldier answered, “Yeah! And I found them guilty.”
Joke #12073
OVERHEARD AT A PARTY: “I tried on my old World War II Army uniform and the only thing that fit were the socks.”