MAN: “Just once I’d like to be able to win a golf game.”
WIFE: “Then why don’t you play against someone other than your boss?”
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #12842
There was a hillbilly who was so strong that he pitched horseshoes without taking them off the horse.
Joke #12841
Plato must have had coaches in mind when he said, “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”
Joke #12840
A sports nut is someone who’s married to the TV set during the baseball, football and basketball seasons and married to a wife the rest of the time.
Joke #12839
ATTENTION LADY SOFTBALL PLAYERS: Watch your curves!
Joke #12838
A successful basketball coach who was only six feet tall claimed that he could rate a player’s potential just by looking him in the eye. If he could look a player in the eye without stooping, he rated him poor. If he had to stand on his tiptoes to look him in the eye, he rated him fair. And if he had to use a stepladder to look him in the eye, he rated him good.
Joke #12837
Football player to his college coach: “I know I’m not too smart, coach, but can you stop the other guys from hiding my coloring books and crayons?”
Joke #12836
MRS. JONES: “Have you ever played golf before?”
MRS. SMITH: “Heck, no! I don’t even know how to hold the caddy.”
Joke #12835
GOLFER #1: “My wife said she’d divorce me if I don’t give up playing golf.”
GOLFER #2: “Wow! That’s tough. What did you do?”
GOLFER #1: “I haven’t missed an alimony payment or a golf game yet.”
Joke #12834
At a basketball game, a gal asked her boyfriend, “Jerry, what is that guy doing?”
He answered, “He’s dribbling.”
She looked shocked and said, “Someone should give him a hanky!”
Joke #12833
OVERHEARD: “When I was in college, I was on the football team, but the coach didn’t think much of my ability. I’ll never forget one rough game we played. Every player on my team got hurt except me. In the last quarter, with 3 minutes to go, our right tackle got hurt. I was sitting on the bench all by myself when the coach took a look over at me and said, ‘Kelly, get up and move aside. I’m sending the bench.'”
Joke #12832
The golf match to end all golf matches was played up in Heaven by St. Peter and St. Paul. St. Peter had the honor of the first tee and promptly made a hole in one.
St. Paul, undaunted, repeated the performance.
St. Peter marked the scores down dutifully on his card, then remarked, “What do you say, Paul? Let’s cut out the miracles and get down to business!”
Joke #12831
A man came home from the golf course and said to his wife, “I played in the 70’s today. I hope the temperature is like that tomorrow too.”
Joke #12830
“Did you hear about the pro track sprinter who was faster than a speeding bullet?”
“Yeah. The coach fired him.”
Joke #12829
WIFE: “You play golf every weekend and I’m getting tired of it. If you spent a whole weekend home with me, I think I’d drop dead!”
MAN: “Stop trying to bribe me!”