CONFUCIUS SAY: Man in tails who talks through hat blows his topper.
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #12940
CONFUCIUS SAY: Wine and cheese age gracefully, but people don’t.
Joke #12939
CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who speak with forked tongue is probably a snake in the grass.
Joke #12938
MAN: “Doctor, what’s the biggest problem you have in treating a patient with two broken hands?”
DOC: “Getting him to sign a check for my bill.”
Joke #12937
I don’t trust the physician my husband goes to. When the doctor gives him a shot, it comes out of a bottle.
Joke #12936
“Doctor, what do you do for a millionaire who is a hypochondriac?”
“Schedule him for a checkup every other day until he’s cured or broke.”
Joke #12934
Here’s a bit of advice for hypochondriacs who like to travel: Don’t go to a doctor in South America for an examination unless you know how to say “Ah!” in Spanish.
Joke #12933
The irony of modern medicine: Hospitals make you better and medical bills make you sick.
Joke #12932
Hospitals are so clean, you can eat off the floor. And the way they prepare food, that’s where most of the meals end up.
Joke #12931
OVERHEARD IN A LOCAL STORE: “I asked my doctor how I was, and he told me not to buy any long-playing records.”
Joke #12930
“Sir, we need a doctor’s excuse if you’ll be missing work today.”
“Okay. I won’t be in today because I’m playing golf.”
Joke #12929
I don’t see how anyone can get well in a hospital. Almost everybody you meet there is sick.
Joke #12928
Plastic surgeons never pick up hitchhikers. They believe everyone should pay for a lift.
Joke #12927
A doctor finished his examination and said to his patient, “My advice is to stop drinking and smoking and get plenty of sleep. Also stop staying out all night. That’s the best thing for you.”
The patient gulped and replied, “To be honest, Doc, I don’t deserve the best. What is second best?”
Joke #12926
There’s something new on the medical market. It’s called the Hypochondriac’s Almanac. It’s the perfect gift for people who swear they have everything.