airplane – n. the only place you can’t walk out on a boring movie.
Category Archives: Jokes
The whole Joke archive. Tons of jokes!
Joke #13113
They say that flying is as safe as driving. Baloney! If anything goes wrong with your car, you don’t need a parachute to bail out.
Joke #13112
Here’s a safety tip for people taking their first plane ride: Never fly on a plane that has a cross-eyed navigator.
Joke #13111
They say that airplanes are safer than automobiles because there are more car accidents than plane crashes. But how can anyone feel secure about that when airports sell life insurance and gas stations don’t?
Joke #13110
I took an economy model jet that only costs half as much to fly as a DC-9. It’s called a DC 4 1/2.
Joke #13109
I just flew from Florida. And boy are my arms tired!
Joke #13108
Flying is not as safe as driving. If your engine starts to sputter while driving, you just pull over to the curb, get out and check under the hood. What do you do if the engine starts to sputter while flying — the curb is 15,000 feet below!
Joke #13107
The irony of the horse track: How can a horse player believe the odds are in his favor when the betting lines are ten times longer than the lines to collect on winning tickets?
Joke #13106
The coach of the St. Joseph’s High School baseball team, who happened to be a priest, called time out and ran onto the field to have a talk with his pitcher, a boy named Morgan.
The umpire watched patiently while the priest had a lengthy discussion with his younger hurler. Finally, tired of waiting, the umpire stormed over to the coach. “What is this?” he said to the priest angrily. “A conference or the Sermon on the Mound?”
Joke #13105
NOTE TO FISHERMAN: “Doesn’t it seem stupid to clean the fish you catch? After all, fish live all of their lives in water.”
Joke #13104
FOOTBALL COACH: “Krumski, do you know what a pigskin is good for?”
KRUMSKI: “Sure, coach, it keeps the pig’s bones from falling apart.”
Joke #13101
PAUL: “I don’t like bowling!”
SAUL: “Why not?”
PAUL: “Every time I go, they give me a ball with holes in it.”
Joke #13100
A famous boxer visited the offices of a sports magazine and said to one of the editors, “Do you have any good pictures of me here?”
The editor asked, “What do you consider a good picture of yourself?”
The boxer replied, “One where I’m standing up.”
Joke #13099
SUE: “Harry is the recording secretary of our college chess club.”
LOU: “What does he do?”
SUE: “He reads the hours of the last meeting.”
Joke #13098
Times have changed: Years ago, a professional baseball player sat on the bench studying the guys on the other team. Today, he sits on the bench studying the stock market reports.