Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
A: Because her father is Janet Reno.
Jokes that are more or less offensive.
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
A: Because her father is Janet Reno.
Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian’s head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and says, “I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children.” He then says, “If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I’ll give him one thousand dollars.”
The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head.
The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Jeff said, “Dave, take a look at this.” Dave replied, “Not now, I’m busy.”
Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, “I really think you should look at this.”
Dave said, “Look, you can see I’m busy. There’s a thousand dollars in my hand.”
But Jeff was adamant. “Please, Dave, take a look at this.”
So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians.
Dave just shook his head and said, “Oh . . . my . . . God . . . we’re going to be millionaires!”
Bill Gates was disappointed to hear how Princess Diana died…
Her crashes affect more people than his.
Q: What’s the difference between Princess Diana and Casper the ghost?
A: Casper can go through walls, Diana can’t
Q: Why did Henry Paul swerve into the pillar?
A: He wanted to see if a Mercedes Bends….
Q: What did St Peter say to Di at the Pearly Gates?
A: Wipe that “merc” off your face.
Q: What do you give the princess who has everything?
A: A seatbelt and an airbag.
Q: What was the last thing that Princess Di said to Dodi?
A: Don’t you think were taking this thing a little too fast?
Q: What’s the difference between Princess Di and Tiger Woods?
A: He’s got a better driver.
Q: How did they know that Princess Diana’s driver had dandruff?
A: They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
Q: What does Princess Di turn into at midnight?
A: The wall.
Q: Why did the tunnel in Paris get so red?
A: Because they got Di all over it.
Q: What do Bill Clinton and a country folk dancer have in common?
A: They both throw a ho down.
Q: What does McDonald’s and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.
Q: What’s green and smells like Monica Lewinsky?
A: The pool table in the oval office.