TRAFFIC OFFICER: “Ma’am, what gear were you in when you had the accident?”
LADY: “I was wearing a green blouse, a white skirt and blue shoes.”
Category Archives: (F) Conversational Joke
Joke #12328
PRISONER 654789: “Do you know what a kleptomaniac is?”
PRISONER 763986: “Sure, that’s a guy who helps himself because he can’t help himself.”
Joke #12326
A man rushed into a police station and said to the officer behind the desk, “Do you believe in free speech?”
The officer answered, “I sure do.”
“Fine,” said the man. “Can I use the telephone?”
Joke #12325
JUDGE: “How can I be sure you’re telling the truth? You say you were only going 20 miles an hour in your car?”
DEFENDANT: “Yes, Your Honor, only 20 miles an hour. You see, I was on my way to see my dentist.”
Joke #12322
JUDGE: “Your wife says you beat her up every night. She claims you come home mad and hit her with rights and lefts. Is that true, Mr. Henkly?”
HENKLY: “Don’t believe her, Judge. She’s punch drunk.”
Joke #12309
JUDGE: “Tell the court how old you are, Ma’am.”
LADY: “21 years and some months.”
JUDGE: “How many months? Remember you’re under oath.”
LADY: “127 months.”
Joke #12308
POLICE RADIO DISPATCHER: “Calling car number 709, calling car 709. Be alert. Someone is stealing your hubcaps!”
Joke #12307
PRISONER NO. 6583198: “You say the cops arrested you for going only 20 miles an hour?”
PRISONER NO. 7805407: “Yeah! But it was in somebody’s living room.”
Joke #12305
Overheard in a police station: “If I had your face, I would hire a pickpocket to steal it.”
Joke #12303
JUDGE: “Mr. Fenton you were arrested for stealing an elephant. Tell me, why did you steal an elephant?”
MR. FENTON: “My dad once told me, ‘Son, if you’re goin’ to steal, steal big.'”
Joke #12300
MAN: “Judge, I want a divorce. My wife keeps a pig in our bedroom at night and the stench is terrible.”
JUDGE: “Well, why don’t you open a window?”
MAN: “What! And lose all my pigeons?”
Joke #12298
PATIENT: “You treated my brother for gall bladder and he died of malaria.”
DOCTOR: “Nonsense. When I treat a patient for gall bladder, he dies of gall bladder!”
Joke #12297
PATIENT: “I can’t afford the operation, Doctor.”
DOCTOR: “Okay, so I’ll touch up the X-rays.”
Joke #12296
PATIENT: “My problem is, I have a suicidal complex.”
DOCTOR: “In that case, you’ll have to pay in advance.”
Joke #12294
INTERN: “How did you treat that patient with frostbite?”
DOCTOR: “I put him in bed with a fellow who had a high fever and leveled them both off.”