Two gals were in a restaurant when one said, “How was your date with that hockey player last night?”
The other gasped, “It was for the birds. I won’t say he was ugly, but his hockey mask looked better than he did.”
Category Archives: (F) Conversational Joke
Joke #12609
MAN: “How many slopes did they have at the ski resort you went to?”
WOMAN: “Three… Beginners, Intermediate and Call-An-Ambulance!”
Joke #12607
GOLFER: “Tell me, caddy, are you good at finding lost golf balls?”
CADDY: “You bet I am.”
GOLFER: “Great! Now go find me one so we can start this game.”
Joke #12605
HARRY: “These are my golf socks?”
GARRY: “What do you mean golf socks?”
HARRY: “They have 18 holes.”
Joke #12604
MIKE: “Every morning I jog 5 miles. What do you do to keep in shape?”
SPIKE: “Every morning I turn off the alarm clock, bat my eyelashes 20 times, and then I slowly walk around the bed and jump back in.”
Joke #12602
MAN: “I’ll have you know that I’m a captain of industry.”
STUDENT: “So, big deal! I outrank you. I’m a business major.”
Joke #12600
“Did the music teacher actually say your voice was heavenly?”
“Well, she did say it was unearthly.”
Joke #12599
TEACHER: “Morgan, when will you be ready to give me the answer to today’s addition problem?”
STUDENT: “Sum time, teacher, sum time.”
Joke #12598
MAN: “My son is sure learning a lot at business school.”
FRIEND: “Like what?”
MAN: “Well, he never writes home asking for money anymore. He just bills us for a loan.”
Joke #12589
PHILOSOPHY STUDENT: “I just had lunch an hour ago.”
PHILOSOPHY PROFESSOR: “You mean you ‘think’ you just had lunch.”
PHILOSOPHY STUDENT: “No, I’m sure. I ate six stuffed peppers.”
PHILOSOPHY PROFESSOR: “That’s still no proof. You could think you ate six stuffed peppers. It could all be in your mind.”
PHILOSOPHY STUDENT: “That’s impossible, Professor. I know I had lunch because I have indigestion, and it’s in my stomach not my mind.”
Joke #12586
CHEMISTRY PROFESSOR: “Rollins, what does HNO3 mean?”
ROLLINS: “Uh… well… I’ve got it on the tip of my tongue, Prof.”
CHEMISTRY PROFESSOR: “Well, you’d better spit it out fast! It’s nitric acid.”
Joke #12584
In the school library, a lad stopped a young girl and said, “Excuse me, but haven’t I met you somewhere?”
The gal replied, “Sure you have. I go there often.”
Joke #12582
DAD: “Son, I want you to have something I never had in school.”
SON: “What’s that? Passing grades?”
Joke #12580
DRIVING INSTRUCTOR: “Do you want to learn to drive in a hurry?”
STUDENT: “Yes, do you have a crash course?”
Joke #12578
PROFESSOR (to biology class): “If you should have a question at any time during the test, just raise your hand. That should allow enough blood to drain from your arm to your brain, so that you can solve your problem on your own.