Category Archives: Prank IMs

1 to 1 pranks.

#6279: davepoobond -> agentbond

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series agentbond

Note: this is a guy from school

————————

davepoobond: Is this Sean Connery or Max (censored)?

agentbond: waht

agentbond: who is this

agentbond: what is your ame

davepoobond: Pierce Brosnan

agentbond: funny

davepoobond: I am pissed at you for taking my job.

agentbond: what is your real name

davepoobond: I want to make more James Bond films

agentbond: waht are you talkinga about

davepoobond: what are YOU TALKING ABOUT

agentbond: what

agentbond: who is this

davepoobond: Pierce Brosnan

agentbond: what is your name

agentbond: really

agentbond: what is your name

davepoobond: Your Underwear.

agentbond: what the hell

agentbond: i am getting pissed off

davepoobond: sorry sorry sorry

agentbond: what is your name and where did you get my sn

davepoobond: Found it on buddy search

agentbond: whta is that

davepoobond: Buddy search

agentbond: yeah

davepoobond: no way to explain what it is

davepoobond: its to find stupid people like you

davepoobond: i guess.

agentbond: alrigh

agentbond: what is youtr ame

agentbond: i want to know

agentbond: or i am getting of

agentbond: off

agentbond: you have 5 seconds

agentbond: 5

agentbond: 4

agentbond: 3

agentbond: 2

agentbond: 1

agentbond: hello

agentbond: retard

davepoobond: You guessed it

agentbond: funny

agentbond: jsut tell me your name

agentbond: so i can really talk to you

davepoobond: alan

agentbond: alan who

agentbond: hello

agentbond: what is your last name

agentbond: what the fuck

agentbond: i am getting off

davepoobond: Alan Qwerzy

agentbond: funny fuck head

agentbond: i am going to warn you and block you if you dont tell me your real name

agentbond signed off at 5:17:42 PM.

————————

and then he signs on a different sn

————————

sk8forlife: hey

sk8forlife: is anyone ther

davepoobond: nobody here but us chickens.

sk8forlife: hello

sk8forlife: hahahahah

sk8forlife: hi

sk8forlife: my name is katie

sk8forlife: what is your anem

sk8forlife: name

sk8forlife: hello

sk8forlife: hello

sk8forlife: is anyone ther

sk8forlife: hello

sk8forlife: i want to talk to you

sk8forlife signed off at 5:35:34 PM

————————

and then he signs on again under his original name

————————

agentbond: hey

agentbond: what is your name

agentbond: hey

agentbond: you imed me and i want to talk to you

agentbond: so talk to me

agentbond: hey why are you fucking around with my frien

agentbond: d

agentbond: what the hell bitch

davepoobond: stuff u

agentbond: no i am jsut kidding

agentbond: so do you go to my school

davepoobond: nah.

agentbond: where do you go to school

davepoobond: I dont go to school.

davepoobond: I’m Pierce Brosnan

agentbond: how old are you

agentbond: really come on

agentbond: ok then

davepoobond: ok

agentbond: if you r really him then what is his middle name

davepoobond: Janet

davepoobond: you mean MY middle name.

agentbond: janet what

agentbond: yeah

davepoobond: Janet, you idiot. British people only have 1 Middle name.

davepoobond: i’m not African

agentbond: what is your real name

agentbond: full name

davepoobond: You think I’m a brother?

agentbond: how do you know me

davepoobond: I will sue you. I will call on the NCAA, the NAACP, and all them other black rights foundations and drill your ass!

agentbond: funy

agentbond: how do you know me

davepoobond: It is, huh?

davepoobond: I dont.

agentbond: them how do you know my name

davepoobond: some guy told me it

agentbond: what guy

davepoobond: My director

agentbond: who is your director

davepoobond: The producer.

agentbond: of what

davepoobond: All the James Bond movies, DOY

agentbond: alright where did you go to school

agentbond: high school

davepoobond: Oxford

agentbond: high school

agentbond: dumb shit

agentbond: your full of it

davepoobond: SilentBob61385 is my director

agentbond: i ran a file on your name

davepoobond: bull

agentbond: and i know where you live

agentbond: yeah

agentbond: yeah

agentbond: i called aol and got it

agentbond: your full of crap

agentbond: suprised

agentbond: your in big trouble

davepoobond: me suprised?

davepoobond: why?

davepoobond: why would i be in big trouble?

agentbond: cause i called the police for a complant

davepoobond: transplant?

agentbond: your gay

agentbond: and i know who you are

agentbond: and i know your name

agentbond: fag

davepoobond: what is it then

agentbond: but i am not going to tell you it

davepoobond: really.

agentbond: yeah

davepoobond: really.

agentbond: i can see your house right now

agentbond: and what the hell are you doing

agentbond: your a fag

davepoobond: do you see me dancing naked and doing the funky mombo with my computer?

agentbond: no cause your not

davepoobond: yes i am

agentbond: you think your protective but your not

davepoobond: i’m having sex with you right now in my mind

————————

I get warned to 18%, anonymously.

————————

agentbond: how do you like that

davepoobond: ohhhhh so it was YOU

#6242: JonBoy -> davepoobond

JonBoy: hey

davepoobond: hi

JonBoy: u f or m

davepoobond: m

JonBoy: bye now

davepoobond: bye yesterday

davepoobond: did i mention i am bootylicious?

JonBoy: your a faget

JonBoy: bye now

davepoobond: bye tomorrow

davepoobond: did i mention i streaked 15 times in one day

JonBoy: bye

davepoobond: hi

He warns me to 3%.

I warn him to 20%.

davepoobond: oops i’m sorry

davepoobond: you warned me so i warned you

#6241: allieM -> davepoobond

allieM: hi

davepoobond: hi

allieM: asl

davepoobond: i’m 16/m/ca

allieM: sweet

davepoobond: what part of ca u live in

allieM: l.a

davepoobond: i’m around LA too

davepoobond: u got a pic

allieM: nope you?

davepoobond: nah

allieM: k

davepoobond: do you live in LA or around LA

allieM: LA

allieM: do u have a third titty

davepoobond: lol no

allieM: okay

davepoobond: i have 56

allieM: good

allieM: o gross

davepoobond: they’re in a line down my stomach

davepoobond: and even go down my leg

allieM: ohh nasty

davepoobond: its kinda nasty, cuz they’re not actually full grown, but they have like a sack kinda thing to each one

allieM: nasty who would date someone who had that

davepoobond: most of the boy cheerleaders

davepoobond: and color guard

allieM: omg r u gay

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: they WOULD, but i never did.

allieM: then y did u say that most of the boy cheerleaders and color guard would dat u

davepoobond: they WOULD

allieM: ur gross

davepoobond: unlike most women and men, i can have 56-somes

allieM: ur joking u dont have 56 right

davepoobond: i dont know…..maybe you’ll have to come over and see for yourself

allieM: no

davepoobond: lol, i’m just joking

allieM: im not a prev

davepoobond: joking about you coming over

allieM: but do u have um

davepoobond: my mom, the lady with no nipples wouldnt appreciate that

allieM: what

davepoobond: my dad has 3 penises

allieM: ?

allieM: w/e ur such a liar

davepoobond: and my brother, has no head.

allieM: god ur stupid

davepoobond: he’s just shoulders

davepoobond: and my sister, she takes after mom

davepoobond: but has no eyes

davepoobond: my aunt wasn’t born with 15 chromosomes

allieM: god shut up

allieM: u suck at lieing

davepoobond: and i impregnated myself

davepoobond: i have 45 babies in my womb

allieM: god ur gross

davepoobond: i had to buy an extension at Pic-N-Save

davepoobond: so now i have 15 stomachs to carry all my children

allieM: shut up perv

allieM: ur a prev

davepoobond: no i’m not.

davepoobond: its human nature.

davepoobond: hybrid human nature, but still human nature

allieM: bull shit

davepoobond: i’m like a spider.

davepoobond: i give birth then i die

allieM: ur a liar

davepoobond: but i’m not a spider

davepoobond: so i dont die

davepoobond: did i tell you about my uncle that is actually a pool of piss?

davepoobond: dont ask me how it came to be

davepoobond: ok, fine go ahead

davepoobond: ask me

allieM: no

davepoobond: allieM:

davepoobond: oops

davepoobond: teehee

davepoobond: ask me, go ahead.

allieM: yes, what is it? (this was dave saying it)

davepoobond: well, then, that’s a very good question.

davepoobond: my dad, stood on top of the ceiling

davepoobond: and since he has 4 penises, he pisses a lot

davepoobond: so the pee was so heavy it fell through the roof

davepoobond: and that’s how my dad gave birth to my uncle

davepoobond: the end

allieM: ur discusting

davepoobond: do you like harry potter?

allieM: no

davepoobond: he’s my son-in-law’s brother-in-law’s aunt’s uncle’s son’s nephew’s husband’s son

allieM: ya w/e

davepoobond: w/e?

davepoobond: whats that

allieM: ur so sick and ur such a liar

davepoobond: did i mention i have a lot of butt hair?

allieM: i dont kare

davepoobond: yes you do

allieM: no i dont

davepoobond: yes you do

allieM: i would like to speak to ur mother

davepoobond: okay.

davepoobond: but she’ll get mighty mad

davepoobond: i’ll change the font so that you know its her

allieM: o well

allieM: k

davepoobond: Nippless Susan here. whaddya want, i’m watching Judge Judy.

allieM: ya ur such a liat

allieM: god ur gay

davepoobond: ok, that’s it, i dont have to take this from you. I’m watching Judge Judy

davepoobond: good bye.

davepoobond: well, that was my mom

allieM: ya w/e

davepoobond: w/e?

davepoobond: WHAT IS W/E

allieM: whatever

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: bold

davepoobond: unbold

davepoobond: italic

davepoobond: unitalic

davepoobond: underline

davepoobond: ununderline

allieM: SHUT UP

davepoobond: hi

allieM: what do u want fag boy

davepoobond: my biggest breast is 3AAA

davepoobond: and i can braid my butt hair

allieM: omg shoove it in ur butt hair

davepoobond: shoove?

allieM: ya

davepoobond: rrrrrriiiiiiightttt

davepoobond: i thought shoove was when a human mates with an elephant

allieM: shut up fagdet

davepoobond: i dont see how i can do that with my butt hair

davepoobond: fagdet?

davepoobond: gadget?

davepoobond: pfft

davepoobond: hahaha

allieM: i really think ur gat

davepoobond: i’m not a goat

allieM: ya you are

davepoobond: do you think that’s funny

davepoobond: i’m not a goat. i dont eat tin cans.

davepoobond: i do give milk though, like a goat

allieM: i mean it

allieM: ill call the cops

davepoobond: instead of a penis, i have an udder

davepoobond: whoa.

davepoobond: why would you do that

allieM: cuz ur being a ass

davepoobond: you cant call the cops for someone being an ass..

davepoobond: and you dont even know where i live

allieM: ya i do

davepoobond: i actually live in Michigan – the home of the person with 56 titties

davepoobond: so ha

allieM: i actually live in wisconsin

davepoobond: no wa

davepoobond: y

davepoobond: the cheese state?

allieM: ya way

allieM: ya ‘

davepoobond: but then california has better cheese than wisconscin nowadays

davepoobond: since wisconscinscccijalfj is so cold

allieM: its not cold

davepoobond: yes it is

allieM: we have no sno

allieM: w

davepoobond: yes you do, i can see it from here

allieM: w/e

davepoobond: you live in the rocky mountains

allieM: no

davepoobond: wisconscianslkjfds is nothing but mountains

allieM: not really

davepoobond: yes really

allieM: trust me id no ive lived here my whole life

davepoobond: mmhmm

davepoobond: well, i think you’ve been living on the planet BLAH

davepoobond: because you cant see snow falling down in front of you

allieM: w/e

allieM: i hate u

davepoobond: i love you

davepoobond: lets get married

allieM: thanks

allieM: k good idea

allieM: were shall we meet

davepoobond: corner of main and 2nd

davepoobond: where a baithing suit

allieM: k what state

allieM: ok i will

davepoobond: is hanging

allieM: what state

davepoobond: no, where a baithing suit is hanging

davepoobond: not wear a baithing suit

davepoobond: ok, go ahead and wear one

davepoobond: lets meet in Nevada

allieM: okay

davepoobond: they’ve got lots of casinos there we can get married at

allieM: ill wear a bathins suit

davepoobond: bathins

allieM: ya

davepoobond: ok thats great.

davepoobond: on your mark, get set, go

allieM: k

allieM: ru there yet

davepoobond: yes, i am. i’m waiting for you

allieM: im there stupid

davepoobond: wat

davepoobond: i dont see you

davepoobond: i’m talking on my cell phone now

allieM: im right behind u

davepoobond: dont you see me

davepoobond: ah there you are

allieM: ya

davepoobond: yep

davepoobond: lets get married

allieM: do u like my bathing suit

davepoobond: yes. have you thought of breast implants?

davepoobond: i have.

davepoobond: i have 56

allieM: mine r bigger than all urs put together

davepoobond: waaaaa

davepoobond: oh well

davepoobond: wanna go back to my room

allieM: ya lets go

davepoobond: okay

allieM: i gtg

allieM: my mama is calling me home

davepoobond: ok bye

allieM: bye

#6237: yoyo -> davepoobond

yoyo: hola I am Mexican, I come to california where I get job?

davepoobond: back in mexico

yoyo: pablo likes california

yoyo: people no eat people

davepoobond: but people kill people when they get pissed off

yoyo: kill? bad? si or no?

davepoobond: si

davepoobond: puto

davepoobond: vives en un fregadero, no?

yoyo: no tengo fregadero

davepoobond: tu tienes una lampara, razon?

yoyo: si

davepoobond: ah, si. porque?

davepoobond: tu tienes una lampara, pero no tienes un fregedero! porque?

yoyo: no se, por favor, yo tengo trabajo

davepoobond: tu tienes no trabajo! tu eres preguntar mi para adonde trabajar!

yoyo: si, yo necesito trabajo

davepoobond: no, no necesitas trabajo. puedes vivir en un basuero

yoyo: en el basuro? que?

davepoobond: basueros son muy agradable. yo soy en un basuero

yoyo: tu es uno basuero? como es?

davepoobond: no, no soy un basuero, tonto persona.

davepoobond: yo VIVO en un basuero

yoyo: oh, si si, es muy bien?

davepoobond: si, es beunisimo

yoyo: yo necesito trabajo

davepoobond: TU NO NECISITO TRABAJO, TU NECISITO UN VETERINARIO

yoyo: veterinario? para?????

davepoobond: PARA REPASO!

yoyo: que?

davepoobond: tu oiyes mi

yoyo: tu es muy stupido

davepoobond: no, TU es muy stupido, stupido persona

It ended up just being Holmes.

#6220: JenFroggy -> davepoobond

JenFroggy: hello

davepoobond: what do you WANT

JenFroggy: i want to talk tO TALK TO U

JenFroggy: BE NICE

davepoobond: WHY

davepoobond: WHYWHYWHY

JenFroggy: why not

davepoobond: because your SMELLY

JenFroggy: no im not

JenFroggy: thats not nice

JenFroggy: u r hurting my feeling

davepoobond: hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. most people have more than one feeling

JenFroggy: ok

JenFroggy: u r hurting all my feelings

davepoobond: EW

davepoobond: ALL your feelings

davepoobond: thats nasty

JenFroggy: lol

JenFroggy: if u dont want to talk to me just say so and i’ll leave u alone

davepoobond: so

JenFroggy: ok i.ll leave u alone

JenFroggy: bye

davepoobond: fine

davepoobond: good

davepoobond: riddance

#6216: ALEXNICKlover -> davepoobond

davepoobond went into a chat room about Aaliyah, saying that she died, called “We love you Aaliyah” but he said “I don’t”

————————-

ALEXNICKlover: GO TO HELL!

davepoobond: WHAT

davepoobond: WHATS YOUR PROBLEM

ALEXNICKlover: YOU

davepoobond: WHY

ALEXNICKlover: DONT COME OFF IN THE ROOM SAYING YOU DONT

ALEXNICKlover: IF YOU DONT THATS FINE

davepoobond: I DONT WHAT

ALEXNICKlover: BUT ATLEAST HAVE RESPECT TO HER

davepoobond: why

davepoobond: hi

ALEXNICKlover: BECAUSE SHE WAS A WOUNDERFUL TEALENTED BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN WHO HAD EVERYTHING GOING FOR HER AND JUST LOST HER LIFE… SO YOUNG

davepoobond: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. how come people dont say that about people that die of cancer

ALEXNICKlover: SHE HAD FAME AND FORTUNE COULD SING LIKE AN ANGEL

davepoobond: fame and fortune could sing like an angel?

ALEXNICKlover: PEOPLE DO FEEL FOR THE ONES WHO DIE FROM CANCER

davepoobond: not like you for aaliyah, because their plane crashed because of too much cargo

ALEXNICKlover: SHE WAS 22

ALEXNICKlover: SO YOUNG

ALEXNICKlover: TO YOUNG

davepoobond: wah wah cry me a river

ALEXNICKlover: SO SAD

ALEXNICKlover: ANYWAYZ

ALEXNICKlover: HAVE A SORRY LIFE

ALEXNICKlover: BYE

davepoobond: anywayz what

davepoobond: ok bye

davepoobond: thank you

davepoobond: hi

#6208: davepoobond -> Sleepyhead

davepoobond: friends like you.

Sleepyhead: huh?

davepoobond: did you know that?

Sleepyhead: what about friends like me?

davepoobond: they do

davepoobond: i dont know. it was a title of a poem

davepoobond: geesh

Sleepyhead: they do what?

davepoobond: never mind

Sleepyhead: all i got when you IMed me was “friends like you’

davepoobond: yeah so

davepoobond: friends. like you.

davepoobond: didnt you know?

Sleepyhead: i guess not…

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: whatever

davepoobond: brb

Sleepyhead: lol, im not really “here”

Sleepyhead: ok

davepoobond: bak

Sleepyhead: i see that

davepoobond: yay

Sleepyhead: yes..yaay…

Sleepyhead: so..what’s up?

davepoobond: nothing much. you?

Sleepyhead: talkin to you and listenin to a cd

davepoobond: what cd?

Sleepyhead: well i jus finished my Slipknot cd…now I’m listenin to Ozzy

Sleepyhead: well Ozzy:No More Tears

davepoobond: wow

Sleepyhead: wow?

Sleepyhead: wow what?

davepoobond: i dont know

Sleepyhead: okay….

#6206: davepoobond -> JDDPOP

davepoobond: ‘ey. i’m 15/m/ca

JDDPOP: NO

davepoobond: yeh, i am

JDDPOP: NO AS IN I GOT A MAN

davepoobond: so what

JDDPOP: NO NO NO NO NO NONO NO NO NO

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: thats great

JDDPOP: WHAT THE FUCK

JDDPOP: I SAID NO

davepoobond: what? what’d i do?

davepoobond: no to what?

JDDPOP: WHATS LOL

davepoobond: laugh out loud

#6199: davepoobond -> Marha

davepoobond: whoa.

Marha: is this Shannon?

davepoobond: yes

Marha: okay

Marha: then

Marha: yes

Marha: speak, minion, speak

Marha: heeheehee

davepoobond: i’m a little tea pot. short and stout. here is my handle. here is my spout

Marha: awwrighty

davepoobond: shannon is my name

davepoobond: and cannons are my game

Marha: all right

#6194: davepoobond -> Bones Justice

davepoobond: boo.

Bones Justice: who the hell is this

davepoobond: its me, your old pal

davepoobond: Jimminy Cricket

Bones Justice: what??

davepoobond: isnt this……Pinocchio?

Bones Justice: nope

Bones Justice: wrong person man

davepoobond: oh…….

Bones Justice: lol

Bones Justice: lmao

davepoobond: whats so funny, sir?

Bones Justice: nah u mistaken me for someone else

Bones Justice: lol

davepoobond: sorry, i’m a cricket. you may ask “since when do crickets have AOL?” but, now is the time sir.

Bones Justice: lol r u ok

Bones Justice: u smokin

Bones Justice: something

davepoobond: yeah, i’m sure i’m ok. i’m just trying to look for Pinocchio

davepoobond: i’m his guardian cricket, y’know?

Bones Justice: well good luck finding whoever

Bones Justice: lol

Bones Justice: how u know my s/n

davepoobond: i typed it into my buddy list

davepoobond: and you just happen to be on

Bones Justice: where did u c me at

davepoobond: my buddy list.

Bones Justice: no i mean was i in a chat room or something

Bones Justice: u was in the cafe one time right

davepoobond: um um um um um

davepoobond: sorry, my cricket brain can’t remember

davepoobond: i only have about 4 brain cells y’know?

davepoobond: i know how to do 4 things

davepoobond: jump

davepoobond: jump high

davepoobond: chirp

davepoobond: and…………….

davepoobond: rub my legs together

Bones Justice: lol well good luck finding the person

#6193: davepoobond -> Bugsbunny

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series nice s n lol

davepoobond: nice s n lol

Bugsbunny: what

davepoobond: nice s n lol

Bugsbunny: okay

davepoobond: Thank you for your responses. They have been anonymously logged in the AI (Artifical Intelligence) response database. You can send one more response to be recorded. These are questions from promotion of a Christian website. So, be nice in your response. 🙂

Bugsbunny: okay

#6192: davepoobond -> Andmic

This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series nice s n lol

davepoobond: nice s n lol

Andmic: who are you?

davepoobond: nice s n lol

Andmic: ??????????

davepoobond: Thank you for your responses. They have been anonymously logged in the AI (Artifical Intelligence) response database. You can send one more response to be recorded. These are questions from promotion of a Christian website. So, be nice in your response. 🙂