davepoobond: loser
Blind Bubba: shut up stupid
davepoobond: no
Blind Bubba: your stupid
davepoobond: no
Blind Bubba: your proving your stupity with every “no”
davepoobond: no
Category Archives: Stupid IMs
These are the Stupid IMs. They’re stupid, duh. 1 to 1 messaging.
#6181: Blind Bubba -> davepoobond
Blind Bubba: HUZZAH
davepoobond: HOO HA!
davepoobond: how’s it been jelly bean?
Blind Bubba: im doing the goddamn fuckin math
Blind Bubba: I FIGURED IT OUT BIOATCH
davepoobond: damn you ::yawn::
davepoobond: i did it all in half an hour
davepoobond: so ha
Blind Bubba: YIPPEY KAY FUCKING AYE
Blind Bubba: WHAT THE HEL
Blind Bubba: THE ANSWERS ARENT HERE
davepoobond: heh
Blind Bubba: i even didi it in an algebra calculator
Blind Bubba: then a graphing calculator
Blind Bubba: AND THE ANSWER AINT HERE
davepoobond: thats your problem
Blind Bubba: yea stfu
Blind Bubba: i wasnt talking to u
Blind Bubba: wrong IM box
davepoobond: lol
davepoobond: took a while
Blind Bubba: I was leading you on
davepoobond: sureeeeeee ya were
Blind Bubba: see, I made you say that
Blind Bubba: I manipulated the conversation so you would say those exact words
davepoobond: and you made me say this too?
davepoobond: OOGA BOOGA PIZZA HUT!
davepoobond: how about that?
Blind Bubba: bah
davepoobond: gtg bye
Blind Bubba: I curse the malformed sperm that somehow beat out all the healthy ones and created you in some horrible genetic accident
Blind Bubba: HA!
davepoobond: see you at summer school ::snicker::
Blind Bubba: HA!
#6180: davepoobond -> Angelkisses
I got a piece of junk mail that had some other people’s e-mail addresses in it, so I checked to see if any were on, and IMd the only one that was.
————————————
davepoobond: dont you just hate junk mail?
davepoobond: i got the same stupid mail you got. ain’t that amazing?
davepoobond: i think its supposed to be a sign
AngelKisses: ok
davepoobond: i’m glad you agree
#6179: chocotaco -> davepoobond
chocotaco: hi. bye.
davepoobond: who the
chocotaco: who are you?
davepoobond: who are YOU
davepoobond: you IMd me
chocotaco: no u did
chocotaco: along time ago
chocotaco: so i added u ot the bl
davepoobond: no i didnt
chocotaco: ot = to
chocotaco: uh huh
davepoobond: what’d i say?
chocotaco: nutin
chocotaco: ur kinda wierd
davepoobond: how so
chocotaco: u said wierd shit fool
chocotaco: so wuts ur name?
davepoobond: when was this!
davepoobond: i dont know what you’re talking about
chocotaco: back int he day
chocotaco: maybe 4 months
davepoobond: he he he hell no…i didnt IM you…..its this sn “i” IMd you from?
chocotaco: wtf
chocotaco: yah
davepoobond: what type of stuff was i saying?
chocotaco: i dont remember
davepoobond: ok whatever.
davepoobond: whats your name
chocotaco: wtf is ur name?
davepoobond: wtf is ur name!
chocotaco: they call me romo
davepoobond: tony roma?
chocotaco: no
chocotaco: danny romo
chocotaco: with an “O”
davepoobond: danny tambarelli?
chocotaco: ^
davepoobond: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh i understand now
chocotaco: alrite…
chocotaco: and ur name?
davepoobond: dave
chocotaco: dave?
davepoobond: yes, dave. you got a problem jack? better hit the road. dont come back no mo’ no mo’ no mo’
davepoobond: sorry. had to add in the last part
davepoobond: ahhaahha!
davepoobond: its not my fault my parents named me that
chocotaco: sorrie to hear that..
davepoobond: dont be sorry
davepoobond: do something about it
davepoobond: donate to my fund
chocotaco: no thanx
chocotaco: not into that kind shit
davepoobond: i’m the guy that goes around to grocery stores and collects the money in the “give a child a home foundation” box shit
davepoobond: and i keep the money for myself
chocotaco: thats fucked up
davepoobond: those kids on there, are my neighbors
davepoobond: i payed them 5 bucks each
chocotaco: ohh
davepoobond: prior to that
chocotaco: then thats okay
davepoobond: and then they went and bought mud
chocotaco: mud
chocotaco: wtf
davepoobond: and spread it all over themselves to make themselves look dirty and unbathed-like
chocotaco: was it homogonized mud?
davepoobond: then i took a picture of them, in different groups
davepoobond: i dont know. they bought it
chocotaco: uh huh
davepoobond: and i gave the pictures to all the grocery stores, and told them to get little plastic boxes
davepoobond: so that people can put money in there
davepoobond: my earnings have come out to $23,018.01 so far
davepoobond: pretty cool huh?
chocotaco: i guess
davepoobond: have you got any scams you’re the head cheese of?
chocotaco: nope
davepoobond: i’m starting to run out of pictures to give. i need new ones, and the police are on my ass now, for having children being pictured without their parents consent
davepoobond: do you have any cute-looking little kids near your house?
davepoobond: so you can take pictures of them, with torn shirts and etc.
davepoobond: and give them to me?
chocotaco: nope
davepoobond: damn. you’re in a boring town
davepoobond: dont you have anything to talk about?
Previous message was not received by chocotaco because of error: User chocotaco is not available.
#6178: davepoobond -> Escalade
davepoobond: whats up fruitcake?
Escalade: huh ?
davepoobond: dude.
davepoobond: fruitcakes are tasty
Escalade: WHO are you ?
davepoobond: i’m JAR JAR BINKS
davepoobond: i believe you’ve heard of me?
Escalade: go away
davepoobond: i’ve been in many-a-starring roles
davepoobond: mesa good guy
Escalade: WHAT ?
davepoobond: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT!
davepoobond: I BE JAR JAR BINKS
davepoobond: MESA JAR JAR BINKS
davepoobond: TU COMES TUS PANTALONES?
davepoobond: look here, Mr. Smarty Pantaloneees. i dont like your attitude
Escalade: im blocking you…
Escalade: bye bye
davepoobond: NO!
davepoobond: DONT
davepoobond: I’LL BE GOOD
Escalade: whoARE YOU??
davepoobond: jar jar
Escalade: you have 3 seconds to answer
Escalade: one
Escalade: two
Escalade: three
davepoobond: ok ok
davepoobond: i’ll tell you
davepoobond: my name is John
Escalade: john.. who ?
davepoobond: Johnathon Rabbit
Escalade: very funny
Escalade: im really blocking you
davepoobond: i’m the brother of Peter Rabbit!
Escalade: bye
davepoobond: NOOOOOOOO
davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOOO
davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Escalade: too badd
Escalade: your gone
davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOO
davepoobond: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Escalade: see ya
davepoobond: NO
davepoobond: hi
davepoobond: hello?
Escalade: hahaha… your on the list
davepoobond: oh no!
Escalade: and im about to hit save
davepoobond: please take me off!
Escalade: hahahahahahahahahahahahahah
davepoobond: i’m sorry!
davepoobond: sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Escalade: later fatso
davepoobond: (not really)
Escalade: who are you ?
davepoobond: Fatso
Escalade: sorry but im not playing games
Escalade: so seee ya
Escalade signed off at 2:02:19 PM.
davepoobond: nooooooooo
Previous message was not received by Escalade because of error: User Escalade is not available.
#6177: davepoobond -> Lumpy
davepoobond: do anything illegal lately?
Lumpy: I stole a car set it on fire and sold illegal drugs….. you?
davepoobond: i drove a car into the Mississippi, watching it flow away
davepoobond: stole a bum’s grapes
davepoobond: and shot people with a shotgun full of grapes
davepoobond: and made a guy on a bike slam into a pole
Lumpy: cool
Lumpy: I wne to scoutland and opened a beer in front of a cow
Lumpy: went*
Lumpy: which is illegal over there
davepoobond: i milked a cow, then i shot it
davepoobond: and i ran naked through the fields
Lumpy: I run naked through rush hour
davepoobond: i poop on cars, while the people are still in them
Lumpy: cool
#6176: davepoobond -> blowthetoad
davepoobond: boo
blowthetoad: AH!
#6175: davepoobond -> Phoenix
davepoobond: i scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!!!!
Phoenix: NOOOO!!!!!
#6174: davepoobond -> PowerDJ
davepoobond: give me money
POWder DJ: fuck you
davepoobond: the hell
davepoobond: you got some attitude
davepoobond: wanna take this outside?
POWder DJ: naw
davepoobond: why not
POWder DJ: who the fuck u think u r, i aint givin u any money
davepoobond: you afraid
davepoobond: i bet you
davepoobond: 5 cents that you’re afraid
POWder DJ: yea, whtevr
davepoobond: ok
davepoobond: good
davepoobond: i bet you 5 cents then
POWder DJ: this is pretty some fucker lik constintino
davepoobond: quit talking Italian with ME bitch
davepoobond: i know what you’re saying
POWder DJ: *probably
POWder DJ: Constintino is a person dumbass
davepoobond: well well, excuse me for not knowing who the hell continbutthole is
POWder DJ: lol, aight whtevr
POWder DJ: who the hell is this
davepoobond: i’m PaRappa da Rappa
POWder DJ: ur a funny mother fucker arent u
davepoobond: yes i am
POWder DJ: ye right, whtevr
davepoobond: i AM right
davepoobond: no offense, but, are you a molestor?
POWder DJ: no
davepoobond: no what?
davepoobond: no offense taken?
davepoobond: or no your not not a molestor
POWder DJ: ur a moron arnt u
davepoobond: moron?
POWder DJ: no, im not a molestor
davepoobond: are you sure?
POWder DJ: who the hell is this
davepoobond: i told you
davepoobond: fine fine
davepoobond: i’ll tell you
davepoobond: Rolly Polly Molly
POWder DJ: u were a guy a minute ago
davepoobond: i had a sex change, so sue me
POWder DJ: latr
davepoobond: bye
davepoobond: hi
davepoobond: hello
davepoobond: ollah
davepoobond: uno mas por favor?
POWder DJ: do u even know wht tht means
davepoobond: yes
davepoobond: it means “you’re a dumbass”
POWder DJ: it means one more please
davepoobond: no thank you
davepoobond: unos burrows en tus pantalones?
POWder DJ: u know, i can send u a fucking virus if u dont lay off biznatch
davepoobond: why would you though?
davepoobond: its all fun and games
POWder DJ: b/c ur pissing me off
davepoobond: ok ok. i’m sorry
davepoobond: can we be friends?
POWder DJ: no
POWder DJ: not unless u tell me who u r
davepoobond: my name is dave
PowerDJ: with out a fuckin name tht rymes
davepoobond: heh
POWder DJ: aight, thtz it
davepoobond: IT IS!
davepoobond: you dont believe me?
davepoobond: i cant be named dave?
POWder DJ: no i dont
POWder DJ: do u go to LC
davepoobond: what the hell is LC?
POWder DJ: y the fuck r u IM ing me
davepoobond: umm…..i talk to (censored name)
POWder DJ: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
POWder DJ: !!!!!!!
POWder DJ: !!!!!!
POWder DJ: !!!!!
davepoobond: heh
POWder DJ: IM GOING TO KILL U
POWder DJ: !!!!!!!
davepoobond: she told me to say that
POWder DJ: !!!!!
POWder DJ: !!!!!!!
POWder DJ: i know this is u alison
POWder DJ: !
davepoobond: whos alison?
POWder DJ: if u tlk to (censored name) u should know
davepoobond: uh, she never told me her name
POWder DJ: do u use AIM?
davepoobond: what do you think?
POWder DJ: u could be using AOL
davepoobond: well, i’m not
POWder DJ: i know ur trying to get baq at me
davepoobond: back at you for what?
davepoobond: i dont even know what you’re talking about
davepoobond: friendly question: do you eat cheesecake?
POWder DJ: im not answerin tht b/c i know u’ll make dumb shit joke
davepoobond: i said “friendly question”
davepoobond: i wasnt gonna make a joke out of it
POWder DJ: its ok
davepoobond: NO! ITS NOT OKAY! its all about YOU YOU YOU YOU
davepoobond: what about ME ME ME ME ME
davepoobond: you make me cry
davepoobond: you hurt my feelings
POWder DJ: fuck off bitch
davepoobond: wahhhh
davepoobond: you sure are a meany
POWder DJ: ur such a pussy
davepoobond: thanks
davepoobond: i’m actually a Siamese kitty
davepoobond: i eat tuna
POWder DJ: i eat your mom
davepoobond: YOU CANNIBAL!
davepoobond: HOW COULD YOU….eat our only mom
davepoobond: your a bad brother!
davepoobond: bad bad bad bad!
POWderDJ signed off at 5:52:12 PM.
#6173: davepoobond -> BALTAUR SAMA
davepoobond: hello. i’m michelle branch. i believe you’ve heard my ultra rad single “everywhere” on MTV
BALTAUR SAMA: Sorry. I cannot say I have.
davepoobond: i am appalled at you
davepoobond: and what you stand for
davepoobond: ::girly slap::
BALTAUR SAMA: Sorry Miss Branch.
BALTAUR SAMA: I am sorry I offended you.
BALTAUR SAMA: I will never do so again.
BALTAUR SAMA: Goodbye.
davepoobond: ok bye
#6172: davepoobond -> Lumpy
davepoobond: hello. i’m michelle branch. i believe you’ve heard my ultra rad single “everywhere” on MTV
Lumpy: lol
davepoobond: i take it that you’ve heard of me
Lumpy: actually no
davepoobond: i play the guitar, but i am actually sooooooooo good i dont have to look while i’m playing
Lumpy: ah
Lumpy: yes
davepoobond: and i look behind me when i’m playing with my band, which is almost never
Lumpy: get the point
davepoobond: ok
#6171: davepoobond -> BlackOneHunter
davepoobond: LUCYYYYYYYYYY I’M HOMEE!!!
BlackOneHunter: …
davepoobond: ::kisses you all over:: i love you, my wife, so much
davepoobond: babalooooo! ::beats on his bongos::
BlackOneHunter: uh huh………..~*pulls out his .52, blows away annoyance, turns back to dealing with his new torture object*~
davepoobond: ::takes the “new torture object” and uses it as a sex toy::
BlackOneHunter: 0.0
davepoobond: if you’ve got the monay, honay, we’ve got your disease
davepoobond: IN THE JUNGLE
davepoobond: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
davepoobond: SHANANANANANNAKNEES
davepoobond: Insallah!- No Surrender!
“Do not fear for fear is the mind killer. Fear is a small
thing that brings total destruction. If I face my fears my
fear shall pass through me. Do Not Fear For Fear Is The
Mind Killer”- Orange Catholic Bible
davepoobond: thats what it says in your info
BlackOneHunter: ~*twitch*~
davepoobond: change it. there is no orange catholic bible
BlackOneHunter: yes Orange Catholic Bible and Insallah is barbaric Germanic.
davepoobond: y are you twitching? you should see a doctor.
BlackOneHunter: Nein, read Dune.
davepoobond: sure sure, and in Candy Land, they have the Candy Cane Catholic Bible, too
BlackOneHunter: um you idiot, The Orange Catholic bible is the primary religion in Dune
davepoobond: what a laugh. i’m laughing. ha. ha. ha.
BlackOneHunter: mm hmm
davepoobond: wow. Dune.
davepoobond: what a bad game.
davepoobond: get a new hobby
BlackOneHunter: Good Book
BlackOneHunter: ~*hardly plays games*~
davepoobond: ::pukes in your pants:: s’cuse me
BlackOneHunter: ~*wonders how he pierces shifting harmonic shielding*~
davepoobond: i have a harmonica too
davepoobond: i’ll play it for you
BlackOneHunter: ..
davepoobond: dooboo booo booo dooooooooo doo doooooooooo
davepoobond: boo doo boo doo doo dooooooooooo
BlackOneHunter: .
davepoobond: .
davepoobond: YEAHHHHHHHHH PUNCTUATION WARS!
BlackOneHunter: ……………………………………………
davepoobond: !!!
BlackOneHunter: oy vey.
davepoobond: oi vay
davepoobond: how do you know which is the real spelling
BlackOneHunter: because I asked a latin student
davepoobond: LATIN!
davepoobond: its not latin!
davepoobond: they say it in English all the time
BlackOneHunter: yes it is
davepoobond: wanna bet
davepoobond: i’ll bet you 3 and a half cents
BlackOneHunter: its Latin
davepoobond: no.
davepoobond: its Finish
davepoobond: yes, Finish.
davepoobond: from Finland
davepoobond: yeah, and Israel is in Finland
davepoobond: so its Jewish
BlackOneHunter: Sub humans made it?
davepoobond: i believe the real word is “Cro-Magnums”
BlackOneHunter: mm hmm
davepoobond: did you ever have 156 popsicles in one sitting?
davepoobond: i did.
davepoobond: i just finished my 156th right now
BlackOneHunter: .
davepoobond: *
BlackOneHunter: .
davepoobond: booty scoot
davepoobond: row row row your boat
davepoobond: gently down the stream
davepoobond: merrily merrily merrily
davepoobond: life is butt a dream
davepoobond: HAAHAHAHAH I SAID BUTT
davepoobond: :-*
davepoobond: i have wet socks
davepoobond: butt
davepoobond: butt
davepoobond: i’m gonna say butt over and over till you start talking regularly
davepoobond: butt
davepoobond: butt
davepoobond: butt
BlackOneHunter: oy vey.
davepoobond: not oy vey!
davepoobond: OI VAY
davepoobond: AND ITS JEWISH
davepoobond: HEBREWWWWWWW
davepoobond: NOT LATINNNN
davepoobond: latinese bassssssssss
davepoobond: turd
BlackOneHunter: fine, I don’t care.
BlackOneHunter: ..pathetic insults.
davepoobond: oh yeah
davepoobond: tell me something better
BlackOneHunter: hmm……..in English or duetch?
davepoobond: dont speak Nazi.
davepoobond: how about in espanol
davepoobond: puto!
BlackOneHunter: Heil Hitler. 😉
BlackOneHunter: ….
davepoobond: y’like black
davepoobond: y’think black is cooooooooool
BlackOneHunter: Black is 10 colors in one- Song Artist
davepoobond: boring
BlackOneHunter: mm hmm
davepoobond: Mr. Clean is my role model
davepoobond: who’s your role model
BlackOneHunter: mmm…….Necromancers
BlackOneHunter: Hitler
BlackOneHunter: Stalin
davepoobond: ::sneeze::
davepoobond: sorry, i’m allergic to jerks
BlackOneHunter: mm hmm
BlackOneHunter: Necromancers aren’t bad.
davepoobond: they just think about dying all the time
davepoobond: that’s not bad at all
BlackOneHunter: Necromancers dun
BlackOneHunter: they think about the meaning of death
davepoobond: think about dying, think about the meaning of death. wats it matter. they’re both the same. the only way to know the meaning of death is when you die
BlackOneHunter: True.
davepoobond: False.
davepoobond: wait. is this a test?
BlackOneHunter: No
davepoobond: Yes
davepoobond: wait…..
BlackOneHunter: hmm?
davepoobond: come again?
BlackOneHunter: Whaa?
davepoobond: i like horse radish
BlackOneHunter: mm hmm
davepoobond: have you ever time travelled?
BlackOneHunter: mmm in theory its not possible in RL
davepoobond: unh hunh……..
BlackOneHunter: mmmk
davepoobond: do you have a canoe?
BlackOneHunter: No
davepoobond: canoes are cool
BlackOneHunter: I know.
BlackOneHunter: so are Kayaks
davepoobond: were you a Care Bear at one time in your life or in a past life?
BlackOneHunter: Nope, what are they?
davepoobond: YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE CARE BEARS ARE
BlackOneHunter: No
davepoobond: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
BlackOneHunter: mm hmm
davepoobond: ITS LIKE THE ORIGINAL POWER RANGERS, BUT WITH CARTOON BEARS THAT HAVE SPECIAL POWERSSSSSSSSSSS
BlackOneHunter: 0.0
BlackOneHunter: wrrooongggg
davepoobond: prove me wrong. since you dont know what it is
davepoobond: do you live in Mohicanland?
BlackOneHunter signed off at 4:26:22 PM.
#6170: davepoobond -> BALTAUR SAMA
davepoobond: rectum rectum
BALTAUR SAMA: Fascinating.
davepoobond: whats the fascinating part?
davepoobond: that the rectum has a rectum?
BALTAUR SAMA: The rectum part.
davepoobond: really
BALTAUR SAMA: Yes.
davepoobond: really
#6169: davepoobond -> SheMaleHo
davepoobond: MOO!!!!
SheMaleHo: baaaaa
davepoobond: jiiiiiiiiiiiii
SheMaleHo: quaack
davepoobond: muuu
SheMaleHo: nyaaaao
davepoobond: cloc cloc
SheMaleHo: squeeeeak
davepoobond: blahblah
SheMaleHo: grrrr
davepoobond: guau guau
SheMaleHo: ….i can’t think of anything else.
davepoobond: HA
SheMaleHo: you win
davepoobond: whee
SheMaleHo: *bows to your mastery*
#6168: davepoobond -> BALTAUR SAMA
davepoobond: nyeahnyeah!
BALTAUR SAMA: Why do I attract barn yard animals?
davepoobond: im no barn animal. i’m a zoooooooooooooooo animal
BALTAUR SAMA: Fine. Why do I attract zoo animals?
davepoobond: zoo animals are cuddddddddly
davepoobond: until they EAT YOU
BALTAUR SAMA: Yes.
davepoobond: you are correct, suh! ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling!!!