A wise man once said, “If you can’t say something good about somebody then say something bad. It keeps the conversation going.”
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #12173
I’m so old, I’m the only businessman in the office who can remember way back to B.C. – before computers, that is!
Joke #12172
I finally got back at the post office for always mishandling my parcels. Yesterday I marked a package, “THIS SIDE UP,” and mailed a full can of paint without a lid on it.
Joke #12171
Q: What’s race car backwards?
A: Really slow.
Joke #12170
Nobody wants me around. Yesterday I was so depressed, I climbed out on the ledge of a ten-story building. A policeman and a company of firemen gathered below and started a chant of “Jump!”
Joke #12169
I’m so henpecked, I’d have to ask my wife’s permission to kill myself.
Joke #12168
I saved all my money for a rainy day and what did I end up with? Rubber checks.
Joke #12167
I told my husband I’d like to see Europe. So he went to a travel agency and brought me a map and a brochure.
Joke #12166
My dog is really something. Yesterday he chased a small foreign car. The trouble is that he brought it back.
Joke #12165
A boss was showing a new man his job. He said, “all you do when you come in at 9 o’clock is press this button to start the machine. At 5 o’clock, you press this button to stop the machine.”
The new man shook his head and asked, “Do you have anything that isn’t so technical?”
Joke #12164
CUSTOMER: “Waiter, what is this fly doing in my ice cream?”
WAITER: “Maybe he likes winter sports.”
Joke #12163
What a life! What a life! Sometimes I feel like a statue beneath a flock of pigeons.
Joke #12162
At the complaint window of a large department store, the clerk asked, “And what is wrong with the washing machine?”
The man answered, “Every time I get in it, it goes too fast for my bath.”
Joke #12161
Did you hear about the Siamese twins who asked their waiter for separate checks?
Joke #12160
My eyesight is so bad, last week while hiking in the woods I picked up a snake to kill a stick.