My mother-in-law is a real drip. You can hear her, but you can’t turn her off.
All posts by davepoobond
Joke #13131
There’s only one thing about my mother-in-law that I don’t like. She’s still breathing!
Joke #13130
The other day a wife said to her husband, “We’ve been married ten years and it’s been five years since you put your arms around me and gave me a hug.”
Looking her right in the eye, the man replied, “Don’t blame me. Blame your eating habits! It’s been five years since I could get my arms around you!”
Joke #13129
I’ve been married ten years and there’s still a lot I don’t know about my mother-in-law… like what she looks like with her mouth closed!
Joke #13128
My mother-in-law is so overweight, her rolls of fat come in a baker’s dozen.
Joke #13127
Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Smith were having a cup of tea. Mrs. Jones said, “So, your son Arthur is in college. What’s he going to be when he graduates?”
Mrs. Smith placed her tea cup on the table and replied, “Off hand, I’d say about fifty years old.”
Joke #13126
In a small town out West, a shopper who was looking at many sets of dentures in a store window was arrested for picking his teeth in public.
Joke #13125
A traveling salesman was on a train one day. He started saying out loud, “One pair of pants, two pairs of pants, three pairs of pants…”
A woman sitting across from him said, “Sir, don’t you know it’s not right to count your britches before you get to them?”
Joke #13124
There was this Chinese gentleman who left a loaf of rye in front of an idol.
It was a case of bread and Buddha.
Joke #13123
One night a banking tycoon fell overboard form his yacht.
He was saved because he could float a loan.
Joke #13122
An airplane ran out of gas, so the pilot parachuted out over the jungle. He landed in a cannibal pot. The chief came along and saw the pilot in the pot and yelled.
“What’s this flier doing in my soup?”
Joke #13121
Once I took a really cheap flight to California. When the plane reached Los Angeles, it didn’t even land. The passengers had to bail out.
Joke #13120
Talk about rotten luck. Did you hear about the man who took a bus to Florida because he was afraid of flying? A plane crashed into his bus.
Joke #13119
Now there’s a new flight that allows a businessman to take his bag along with him on the plane. It’s called the husband-and-wife special.
Joke #13118
I’ll tell you it’s really hard to have faith in modern aviation when you’re sitting in a plane and you see the crew come aboard wearing parachutes.