Joke #18500

A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger’s cage at the zoo.

The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and the youngster was taking it all in with a serious expression.

Dad,” the boy said finally, “if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up…”

“Yes, son?” the father said expectantly.

“What bus should I take home?”

 

Joke #18166

Upon returning from a field trip to the zoo, the principal asked Miss Dickinson how she enjoyed the outing.

“Oh, it was horrible,” said Miss Dickinson.  “The snakes stuck their tongues out and the monkeys kept making faces.”

“Well, you know what they say,” replied the principal.  “Boas will be boas, and gorillas will be gorillas.”

 

How You Know If You Should Have Plastic Surgery

There are many reasons why people have plastic surgery and we offer some of them here:

– You meet “Big Foot” in the woods and he faints when he sees you.

– You’re not allowed in the zoo because you scare the animals.

– An organ grinder offers you a job as his monkey.

– Your teacher makes you sit facing the back of the room.

– A cop gives you a ticket for being criminally ugly.

 

The Media

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Thank you.

 

Stuff At the Zoo I Was Scared Of

I was scared of swans, flamingos, and monkeys when i was 5 or 6 years old. Swans scared me because they looked like they would eat me. Flamingos scared me, because there were so many of them and I felt they would fly up and eat me. Monkeys scared me because I thought they would jump at me and bite me, then I’d die.

Now, swans, flamingos, and monekys aren’t scary anymore to me, because of things I learned about them.

Another thing I was scared of was this thing that is in the zoo and you push a button and it lets you smell an animal. It scared me because I smelled a bear, a skunk, and a gorilla, and I stayed away from it.

Now, they took that thing away, so I’m not scared of it anymore.