Joke #13012

A woman on a local bus was making a real pest of herself by asking the driver every few minutes, “Have we come to Walnut Drive yet?”  After twenty minutes, she finally said, “Tell me, how will I know when we get to Walnut Drive?”

The driver turned to her and answered, “By the big smile on my face, lady!”

 

Joke #12849

A drunk stumbled out of a bar, bumped into a telephone pole, knocked into a trash can, and then fell flat on the sidewalk right in front of an uppity old spinster.

“Sir,” scolded the woman coldly, “if I were in your condition, I’d shoot myself.”

“Lady,” stammered the man, “if you were in my condition, you’d miss.”