WoW Chat #23105: davepoobond -> Woody

Woody is trying to sell a guild in trade chat.

davepoobond:  how much is it

Woody:  50k

Woody:  wanna buy it

davepoobond:  trying to convince a friend

davepoobond:  i don’t think he wants it even though he founded it

Woody:  50k and you have a level 25 guild all to your self

Woody:  its worth it

Woody:  whats your buddys name?

davepoobond:  he’s raiding right now

Woody:  do you wanna buy it?

davepoobond:  nope

Woody:  shit

Woody:  I see what you did there ;D

davepoobond:  you do?

davepoobond:  what’d i do

Woody:  woops wrong person but ill go 45k if you buiy it now’

davepoobond:  how many tabs

Woody:  3

Woody:  with active guild

davepoobond:  hmmm

davepoobond:  are there any girls in the guild

Woody:  yeah 1

davepoobond:  does she put out

Woody:  2

Woody:  and put out>”

Woody:  ?

davepoobond:  what are their cup sizes

Woody:  lol omg

Woody:  want it or not

davepoobond:  how many are going to stay after i buy the guild

Woody:  everyone but 3

Woody:  2 forsure

Woody:  my brothers

davepoobond:  how many of the girls are in that 3

Woody:  none lmao

davepoobond:  what items are in the guild bank

Woody:  herbs gems

Woody:  glyphs

davepoobond:  thats all?

Woody:  mats

davepoobond:  what kind of music do the girls like to listen to

Woody:  dude lol

Woody:  buying it or not

davepoobond:  can i tell you a story

Woody:  sure

davepoobond:  i wasn’t a popular kid in school

davepoobond:  i didn’t have a lot of friends

davepoobond:  if someone asked to take advantage of me, by eating my french fries during lunch

davepoobond:  i was happy because someone was paying attention to me

davepoobond:  one day i got an email full of screen names with all of the girls in the school i went to

davepoobond:  so i IMd each one of them, pretending to be some hot guy with bleached tips on his hair

davepoobond:  and they actually wanted to talk to me for no other reason than my picture

Woody:  is this true>

davepoobond:  it is all true

davepoobond:  what are your thoughts about my story

Woody:  i feel bad

davepoobond:  why do you feel bad

Woody:  because if its true you didn’t deserve it

davepoobond:  i deserve everything i get

Woody:  are you buying the guild or what lol

davepoobond:  i have never known the touch of a woman

 

WoW Chat #23078

I was in a battleground and we were losing horribly.  Mostly because everyone was a DPS spec, and the other team was way more balanced.  I play a hunter, by the way.

Phacku: what a dick

davepoobond: 3 hybrids and none of you can tank

Phacku: your a hybrid

davepoobond: who is

davepoobond: me?

davepoobond: lol

Phacku: yeah you dont ever call me a hybrid again

davepoobond: you’re a hybird

davepoobond: and about as dumb as a plant

davepoobond: like a hybrid plant

Phacku: you obviously know nothing of plants

davepoobond: i know they are smarter than you

Phacku: than you still know nothing

Athiesm: ummmm

Athiesm: seems like i got in a grp of fighting eachother ness

Phacku: hunter likes men. thats all

Wish: there arguing about hybrid classes

Athiesm: the usual pointless shit

davepoobond: of course i like men

davepoobond: im a woman

Athiesm: who cares

Athiesm: im a wolf

Athiesm: so what

Phacku: dont lie to me

Wish: im a gnome

 

Quote #22741

Old Woman 1 enters the waiting room at a dealer car service place.  She comes in and recognizes Old Woman 2 saying something about how she recognizes her and something about church, but davepoobond was not listening intently on that part.  Old Woman 1 decides to “introduce” herself after Old Woman 2 doesn’t really recognize her anyway, and denying that she even does the things the Old Woman 1 was saying.

Old Woman 1: “Hi! My name is Nancy.”

Old Woman 2: “Oh.”

Old Woman 1: “What’s your name?”

Old Woman 2: “Huh?”

Old Woman 1: “What’s your name?”

Old Woman 2 says something about the TV being loud and Old Woman 1 asks like one or two more times, she has to raise her voice but since she’s old, she can’t really.

Old Woman 2: “Oh ………………. Louise.”

Old Woman 1: “Oh that’s my real name!”

– at a car dealer service place

 

Ridiculous Spam Mail #22447

Subject: Is that you?

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