The six things I could never do without

“bra, undies, clean water, pen, glasses, and a voice.”

- from a girl’s dating profile

Tags: dating, girl, glasses, pen, profile, underwear, voice, water

tuviesen – n. a fixture in which men’s and women’s undergarments are hanging on the same rack

Tags: noun, tuviesen, underwear

“I can’t stand the words VAGINA and UNDERWEAR. I ask way too many questions because I always want to know why. I have a big heart. I can make 30 minute brownies in 20. I can’t parallel park and refuse to learn. ”

- a girl’s dating profile

Tags: brownie, dating, girl, profile, underwear, vagina

Sung to Row Row Row Your Boat.

-

Row, row, row your boat

Gently down a stream,

Throw a barney overboard and listen to him scream,

Five days later chewin on his underwear,

Wish he had another pair,

Five days later eaten by a polar bear

And that’s how Barney died.

Tags: Barney, dinosaur, polar bear, underwear

Tagged People: me

“Momma said that underwear store owners don’t make money, people steal their thongs, they make the most money on thongs, because they’re actually a food.”

- davepoobond

Tags: A DPB Tag, underwear

Tagged People: davepoobond

I know that people don’t usually know how to introduce the Alphabet to their young’un or some illiterate adult.  But look no further, as I’ve made a list of easy words to remember that go along with each letter!

-

A is for Amphetamine

B is for Bong

C is for Cocaine

D is for Death

E is for Ecstacy

F is for Flip Me Over (Because I’m Gonna Be Ridden On)

G is for Giligan’s Island

H is for Hashish

I is for Illegal Drugs

J is for Jerk-off

K is for Kill

L is for LSD

M is for Marijuana

N is for Narcotics

O is for Opium Overdose

P is for PCP

Q is for Queen Bitch

R is for Rectal Probes

S is for Snorting

T is for Tranquilizer

U is for Underwear

V is for Vagina

W is for Wanker

X is for XXX rated fortune cookies

Y is for You

Z is for Zipper

Tags: alphabet, bong, death, drugs, fortune cookie, illegal, LSD, opium, underwear, zipper

nedo – n. a robot that wears underwear and knee-high socks.

Tags: nedo, noun, robot, socks, underwear

“I’m just dandy!! I’ve got a bowl of chocolate pudding my underpants!”

“uhh….we didn’t have any pudding in there, buddy”

- from Black Sheep

Tags: Black Sheep, chocolate, movie, pudding, underwear

Q: Who has the strongest underwear?

A: Arnold Shorts-enegger.

Tags: underwear

Tagged People: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Submitted through the Anti-Barney song submission form

-

name = Go Smoke A Toilet
email =
use_email = no
song = I don’t wear panties, Dave.

Tags: underwear

Tagged People: davepoobond, Go Smoke A Toilet

“i woke up with no boxers on, after losing my digi camera, and my hand hurts to the point that i cant really move it that well”

- from the internet

Tags: camera, hand, internet, underwear

Q: What kind of underwear do female snakes wear?

A: Co-bras.

Tags: snake, underwear

Q: What kind of underwear is useful at a fire?

A: Panty hose.

Tags: fire, pantyhose, underwear

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Tags: door, electoral college, parents, underwear

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Tags: antelope, sex, underwear