Squacklecast Episode 3 – “Live at Roscoe’s!!!”

This entry is part 3 of 32 in the series The Squacklecast

Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles is the host of the Squacklecast this week!  Well, not really, but we did just eat there before we recorded the podcast.  We would have went to MoLAA (Museum of Los Angeles Assholes) but we had a podcast to record!

I hate Instagr.am — it does NUTH HING.  Our shitty phones have all the shitty effects Instagram applies to your shitty pictures already.

I want to see Houseguest re-released in theaters.

Sinbad was in Good Burger…

and First Kid.

Brock Pierce?  He’s gotta be a porn actor now…

The shitty trailer for LOL:

Are We There Canceled Yet?

James Spader was in a couple of space movies, like Supernova, Stargate, and Speaking of Sex.

The Ice Pirates is one of my favorite movies of all time.

The Strange Saga of Hiroshi the Freeloading Sex Machine is a “pink erotica” film from Japan full of medium-core sex, cucumbers shoved in asses, public nudity, lesbian sex in a graveyard, and people jerking it on top of fire escape ladders.

Saving Silverman > Jersey Girl

American Reunion – another tragedy loosely based off the actual actor’s lives?

Bad Taste is one of Peter Jackson’s movies that he made before Lord of the Rings.

Boiler Room is Ben Affleck’s best movie, because he wasn’t the main character.

It was much better than Daredevil, obviously.

SHUT UP ALREADY!

See you guys next week.

 

Joke #9289: Esprit De Hard Corp

When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven.

One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven’s many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.

“That is a nice suit, my friend,” said Gates. “Where did you get it?”

“Actually,” the man replied, “I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I’ve been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces.”

“Were you a Pope, or a doctor healing the sick?” asked Gates.

“No,” said his new friend, “Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic.”

Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked off to find St. Peter.

Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying, “How could you give me a paltry new house, while you’re showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating system! Why does he deserve better??!!!!”

“Yes, but we use Windows,” replied Peter, “and the Titanic only crashed once.”