Q: What’s round, flat, and makes a terrible racket?
A: Tennis the Menace.
Q: Who wears a hat with bells and makes John McEnroe laugh?
A: Tennis Court Jester
“the Japanese plays tennis”
– from somewhere around davepoobond’s high school
“don’t play tennis, no more”
– from the Radio
“I can run all day and play tennis 6 days a week now!”
– from the TV
JACK: “I hate playing tennis with a sore loser.”
JIM: “Well, I’d rather play tennis with a sore loser than a good winner.”
Talk about rich. I know a tennis pro who’s so wealthy, he hires someone to jump over the net for him at the end of games.
I get more exercise playing golf than tennis. There is more gear to break when I get mad.
A college athlete told a friend: “Martha is a great tennis player with a powerful backhand. Last night at the drive-in movie, I tried to kiss her, and she slapped me four times.”
“Looks like I missed the bull’s-eye,” Tom said aimlessly.
“Give me a rubdown,” Tom said sorely.
“Let’s go camping if the weather is good,” Tom said tentatively.
“I’ve got a great tennis serve,” Tom said faultlessly.
“Would you go fishing with me?” Tom asked with baited breath.
“What this team needs is a great home-run hitter,” Tom said ruthlessly.
“I’m retiring from baseball,” Tom said with resignation.
“Something is wrong with my bowling,” Tom said gutterally.
“Is this boat tilting, or is it my imagination?” Tom asked listlessly.
“Want to Indian wrestle?” Tom asked bravely.
“Our canoe is headed for the falls!” Tom said rapidly.
“This horse won’t stop,” Tom said woefully.
Q: What kind of dental floss do tennis players use?
A: Cat gut.
halejew – adj. to like ice cream, scented candles, and tennis. You also believe your parents love you and you value honesty and truth.
sedalia – n. a full service tennis department
vogel – n. a golf and tennis club