Joke #13274

SAILOR: “I don’t think our captain lives by the code of the sea.”

MATE: “What makes you say that?”

SAILOR: “Well on our last voyage, our ship began to sink and he yelled to the crew, ‘Don’t give up the ship!'”

MATE: “What’s wrong with that?”

SAILOR: “He yelled it as he was diving over the side.”

 

Tongue Twisters

– Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.

– Seventy sailors sailed seven swift ships.

– Joe jumps joyfully in June and July.

– Davy Dear ducks Dinah Dear daily.

– Fast Freddie Frog fries fat flying fish.

– Hairy Harry Hartley hurries home.

– Slippery southern snakes slide swiftly down ski slopes.

– Billy Bunny burst his big beautiful blue balloon.

– Fran fans Fred frantically.

– Fast Frank fries frankfurters and french fries.

– How many bagels could a Beagle bake if a Beagle could bake bagels?

– Seven silly skunks sighed sadly.

– Little Linda Lamb licks her lovely lips.

– “Shoot, Sally,” Slim Sam shouted shyly.

– Wee Willy whistles to wise Wilber Whale.

 

Joke #9252: Who Needs Enemies?

The sailor came home from a secret two-year mission only to find his wife with a new-born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.

“Just tell me one thing! Which one of my no-good friends did this?” he asked.

“Don’t you think I have any friends of my own?” she snapped.