Joke #18508

Having moved into his first apartment, our son invited my husband and me for a visit. As we walked in, our son asked if we’d like a cold drink. Mentally patting myself on the back for teaching him to be such a gracious host, I said, “Yes, what do you have?”

He walked over to the refrigerator, opened the door, studied the contents, and replied, “I have pickle juice or water.”

 

Foodland’s Top Ten Movie Stars

Cheryl Lard

Rabbit Redford

Goldie Hen

Lauren Bagel

Barbra Streisandwich

Vincent Slice

Jane Fondue

Ingrid Burgerman

Pea Marvin

Beet Midler

And their favorite comics of all time:

Peter Fork

Bread Buttons

Joan Livers

David Steinburger

Lico-Rich Little

Phyllis Dill-Pickle

Bean Martin and Cherry Lewis

 

And How’s Business?

“My business is looking better,” said the optometrist.

“My business is down in the dumps,” said the garbage man.

“Mine is rolling in dough,” said the baker.

“Mine is slow,” said the turtle salesman.

“My business is for the birds,” said the pet store owner.

“My business has sunk to a new low,” said the deep-sea diver.

“My business is turning sour,” said the pickle salesman.

“Mine is going up,” said the elevator operator.

“My business is sick,” said the doctor.