The Unfriendly Restaurhaunt and Coffin Shop Moan-U

The following is a menu offered at the Unfriendly Restaurhant and Coffin Shop Moan-U.

A die-ning delight that will lift your spirits!



Boo-gels and Scream Cheese




Milk Shaaaakes

Ice Scream Floats

Orange Crrrush


Clammy on the Half Shell

Chilllled Tomb-ato Juice

Deviled Eggs


L-eeek! Soup

Cream of Asparaghost

Arti-Choke Hearts

Lettuce Alone Salad

Marinated Brussel Shouts


Baked Beings

Cre-mated Spinach


Creep Suzettes

Banana Scream Pie

Sheet Cake

Key Slime Pie

Hot Sludge Shun-dae



Souther Fright Chicken


Turkey with Grave-y


Breakfast Served from Midnight to 3 A.M. Daily


Ghost Toasties with Evaporated Milk

Shrouded Wheat

Scream of Wheat


Terri-fried Eggs — Over Easy

Scream-bled Eggs

Three-moan-it Soft-booled Eggs

Stormy-side-up Eggs

Eggs Boonidict

Cust-tomb-ers: We accept Die-ners Club, Monster Card, and American Hex-press Credit Cards


Motel Mexicana

Parody of “Hotel California” by The Eagles.

In a dark musty hallway,a few friends standing there,
Worn shells of fajitas-lying under a chair..
I bumped my head on the big vents,
and watched  the shattering lights..
My hombre said he & his ride moved in-
Their cab had dropped out of sight….

Pepe stood in the doorway..
He smelled like Taco Bell..
And I was drinking by myself
My seagram’s seven and a fifth of cheap ale..

Said he hit up a vandal,and he owed me my pay
There were pesos down his corduroys..
He  robbed his work that day..

Welcome to the Motel Mexicana
Just a grubby place…(just a grubby place)
Such an ugly place..

There’s plenty of gloom at the Motel Mexicana-
Any kind of beer,you can buy it here..

The wine is simply unfit it’s-
Not for your eighty friends..
We knocked a lot of greedy,greedy boys..
Then we  paid rent.

Howie glanced at the floor:”Are,
theeeeeeeeese summer ants?”
Jose said:”no remember.”
Juan said:”I forget..”

So I called to the fat man:
“Pleeeeeeeease bring me more lime..”
He said:”We haven’t had that citrus here since,
Fried beans hit the sign..”

And grilled ‘ole oysters were falling
From Carlo’s tray..
They shake you up in the middle of the night-
Just to hurl away..

Welcome to the Motel Mexicana
Just a grubby place..(such a grubby place)
Such an ugly place…(ugly place)

They piggin’ it up at the Motel Mexicana
Lotta mice ….surprise!
They sing you lullabies…

Roaches on the ceiling..
They drink my warm Bud Ice..
The flea bed-
And my guitar keep me prisoner here..
With my spanish rice.

And in the bathroom chamber,
They’d rather horde in peace..
I grab them but they run for their life..
But you just can’t kill these fleas!!

That Spring I remember..
This guy was,spraying down my door..
Had I the mind,had I turned my back,
My face-they’d have gnawed to the floor..
“Step back,” said the bug man..
“We are now going to leave..
Make your check out anyway you like..
Just make it out to me…”