Joke #9281: Shades of Grey

One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.

The little girl looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”

Her mother replied, “Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, “Momma, how come all of grandma’s hairs are white?”

 

Joke #9206

In dire need of a beauty make-over, Nancy went to her salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous haired model.

She showed the stylist the trendy new cut she wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on her thin, graying hair.

Nancy was delighted by his cheerful attitude until she recognized the melody.

It was the theme from “Mission Impossible.”

 

Jimiscokfick Mycomnisory Arm Pit Hair Straightner

(a guy is walking by the TV screen when the announcer guy comes on)

 

Announcer: hey you!

 

Guy: who me?

 

Announcer: yes you, do you have unprotected sex?

 

Guy: what the fuck???

 

Announcer: why don’t you try the new Jimiscokfick Mycomnisory arm pit hair straightner? It will straighten your armpit hair in no time flat!

 

Guy: who the fuck wants that?

 

Announcer: .5% of the world does! Don’t you want to be part of that .5%?

 

Guy: …

 

Announcer: It;’s also proven to cause cancer and HIV and instant death, but WHO CARES? you’ll die with straight armpit hair!

 

Guy: umm..i gotta go, bye…

 

The Announcer takes out a taser and tasers the guy until he falls down.

 

Announcer: see? the Jimiscokfick Mycomnisory arm pit hair straightner could have prevented that!

 

The guy is twitching on the ground.

 

Announcer: buy it now…before i kill you…seriously…