Quote #22377

davepoobond, getting off work, walks toward home.  He hears an owl sound, and Cory is sitting on a bench looking at davepoobond.

davepoobond: “What, are you perched like an owl?  What are you doing?”

Cory:  “I’m waiting for…”

Cory turns around, and we both look in the same direction to the right.

Cory: “…her, actually.”

In the next instant, Monze takes a huge spill and does a somersault off her bike, because she hit the corner of a low wall trying to avoid hitting some girls that were on their phone.

Cory and davepoobond look at each other all weird and think that she might be hurt, but she gets up and seems fine.

It was hilarious because it was almost comically timed.

– at davepoobond’s work location

 

Quote #22338

My self-summary:

“Yeh I’m a gay smooth fem male I luv to suck n I luv to get fuck nice n hard I’m very smooth n tight so if ur cool with what I am hmu papi……n I’m not a tranny I just like to dress up like a bitch behind doors n I do moan like a bitch so if u like what u see hmu n I’m looking for a horny straight man only that’s dwn to fuck me good on the the dl”

– From a girl’s dating profile

 

Quote #22183

::Test day for Comm 233.  During the test, the moderately attractive girl smacks her gum in the quiet room fairly loudly.  During which, she also writes very hard on the paper and you can hear every single stroke of the pencil and pen she used.  Afterwards, at work… ::

davepoobond: Geez, I did kinda bad on the test.  I didn’t even know we had a test until I turned and asked the guy sitting next to me.

Ely Munaz:  hahaha!

davepoobond: And this girl next to me was chewing her gum really loudly the whole time.  As much as I liked hearing the noises coming from her mouth for about 10 seconds, it got annoying real fast.

::Ely Munaz laughs again::

davepoobond: And she wrote really hard on the paper, too.  It was like a flamethrower under her pencil.  FWOOOOSH FWOOOOSH FWWOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!

– at davepobond’s job, 6/10/07

 

Quote #22182

::Maria Sweden, davepoobond, and David Arr are working together at Customer Service::

Maria Sweden:  There was a girl that was totally macking on davepoobond at the Brief.

davepoobond: Yuck!  She wasn’t a girl at all. She was a beast!  She was fatter than me!

Maria Sweden:  You’re not exactly skinny yourself, davepoobond.

davepoobond: Exactly!  Plus, she looked like David Arr!

::davepoobond points to David Arr::

David Arr:  Whaaaat?

::David Arr laughs embarrassingly and really loudly::

David Arr: I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or insult!

::davepoobond laughs at David Arr’s response::

– at davepoobond’ job, 6/7/07

 

Quote #22177: Not an Equal Opportunity Dater

** DO NOT EMAIL ME ..IM NOT INTO SPANISH , MEXICAN , OR BLACK GUYS!!! IM ONLY INTO WHITE GUYS!! YOU HEAR? SO SICK OF YOU GUYS EMAILING ME ASKING ME WHAT MY PROBLEM IS WITH NOT LIKING ANY OTHER TYPE OF GUYS THEN WHITE GUYS!! I DONT HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO U . DO NOT EMAIL ME!!! Thanks***

– from a girl’s dating profile

 

Quote #22162

About Me:

“WELL MY NAME iS STEFANiE MANY OF MY FRiENDS CALL ME STEFFiEPOOH OR STEFFiE. iM iN LOVE WiTH ANYTHiNG THAT HAS 2 DO WiTH CUPCAKES. i HAVE WHAT i CONSiDER A NiCE BODY. i HAVE CURVES iN ALL THE RiGHT PLACES. iVE BEEN IN AND OUT OF THE DATiNG GAME FOR THE LAST 2 YEARS JUST GOT OUT OF A SERiOUS RELATiONSHiP. AT THE MOMMENT iM NOT LOOKiNG 2 JUMP iN2 A RELATiONSHiP BUT i DO WANNA JUST KiCK iT WiTH SOMEONE KOOL NO JUDGEMENTS AND MAYBE THEN iT CAN LEAD 2 MORE. i AM WORKiNG ON MYSELF. BEEN THRU ALOT LATELY. i LOVE 2 WORK OUT. iTS BECOMiNG A PART OF ME. i AM 420 FRiENDLY. PLEASE ONCE AGAiN iF U DONT AGREE WiTH PPL WHO SMOKE WEED THEN JUST KEEP MOViN ON CUZ NOT EVERYONE WHO SMOKES iS BAD OR A TROUBLEMAKER OR A LOSER. i LOVE 2 BE OUTDOORS. i LOVE 2 CUDDLE AND SPEND TiME WiTH FRiENDS AND FAMiLY. i LOVE ALL SORTS OF MUSiC EXCEPT SPANiSH…SORRY NOTHiNG PERSONAL JUST iSNT MY STYLE. DONT MiND iF YOU DO THO :] HONESTLY iM JUST TAKiNG TiME 2 FiND MYSELF AND GET MY LiFE TOGETHER. iVE GROWN UP ALOT AND iVE RELiZED WHATS iMPORTANT. WANNA KNOW MORE HIT ME UP…”

– from a girl’s dating profile

 

Quote #22155

About Me:

“this is whack.com. LOL. i dont know why i sighed up for this. Maybe cause imma wakko. but hai. i like tattoos 3 and i love food. I love tegan and sara. I love taking back sunday. my hobbies are tv and eating. BLAH this is lame. why do all the hot guys smoke weed UGH”

Interests:

“food dood. 3 key to mah heart. DUH. i like cookie dough icecream and chipotle. LOL.”

– from a dating profile