tejeda – v. to use a huge manila envelope to transport a very small flash drive.
“These was on George’s Desk”
– written on a very old envelope at davepoobond’s job
“YOU WILL RECEIVE A FULL $1.00 FOR EACH AND EVERY PAMPHLET THAT YOU PROCESS! What do we mean by process? It’s simple…
FIRST: You will neatly fold the provided pre-printed single-sided (8 1/2 by 11 inch) pamphlets into thirds [The pamphlet that you will be processing will be provided to you and will be printed on regular 20 lb. (8-1/2 by 11) inch paper].
SECOND: You will neatly insert the folded pamphlets into the provided pre-addressed, postage paid envelopes [These envelopes will be mailed directly to your home or apartment with customers’ names & addresses already printed on the envelopes along with postage already affixed to the envelopes].
THIRD: Lick and seal these envelopes and then drop them back into the regular US Mail, directly out to the customers.
It’s that simple!”
– from a spam e-mail
When I was young I dreamed of being a test pilot. Flying higher, faster, farther. Risking my life for the science of aviation. But when I grew up I found out I wasn’t qualified because of my poor eyesight. Now I work in a post office which gives me many of the same thrills.
I’m always pushing the envelope!
MR. DUNKLEY: “Why is this letter so damp?”
MRS. DUNKLEY: “Maybe there’s postage dew.”
Why is it that you always remember the real reason you wrote a letter in the first place after you’ve already sealed the envelope?
The only people who get rich addressing envelopes are bill collectors.
What is confidence, you want to know? Well…confidence is:
– Going to the race track for the first time in your life and betting every penny you have on a 50 to 1 shot.
– Walking through Central Park at night and carrying your life savings in your wallet.
– Spending all your savings on a huge luxury car because you’re the gas shortage won’t last.
– Telling a mugger armed with a gun that you won’t give him your money and he can’t make you.
– Mailing the only copy of a book it took you five years to write to a publisher without putting a return address on the envelope.
– Having an argument with the Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World and daring him to lay a hand on you.
Q: What starts with an “e,” ends with an “e,” and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.
tuaodiarc – v. to put envelopes/packages from UPS, FedEx, DHL, and USPS on top of a filing cabinet.
nukaeuzt – n. inside-out envelope