aqyesonahoel – n. a person who specializes in cutting openings in walls and installing doors in random places
Q: What do a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang them the looser they get.
“I do expect you to open my door”
– from a girl’s dating profile
Q: What do you have when 324 blueberries try to get through the same door?
A: A blueberry jam.
sisterpoobond: Why do you always close my door?
davepoobond: Cause I don’t like seeing you.
komu – n. a very loud and powerful fan that hangs above a doorway to keep air from the outside from going inside. It is also meant to blow away napkins that people may have on their trays that they have not secured and are not ready for the fan to turn on, since it only turns on when the door is opened.
“Naomi fucked the boxes in the storage room and fucked the door.”
I hate you
You hate me
Let’s get together and slice barney
Into little square pieces
Then throw them out the door
Blood and guts scattered on the floor.
I hate you
You hate me
Let’s all go and kill Barney!
Punch him in the head, shoot him at the door!
No more purple dionsaur!!
Q: What’s black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door?
A: A black guy with a spear through his head.
A guy goes on vacation, and finds a rare an exotic porn shop. He goes in and asks the clerk if he has anything special that he could give to his wife.
The guys says that he has a “voodoo dick” which is a one of a kind dildo that fucks whatever you tell it to on demand. The buyer doesn’t believe him and asks for a demonstration. The clerk says, “voodoo dick the door” and the dildo immediately humps the door so vigorously that it falls down. The guy agrees to buy it for a tidy sum, and the clerk tells him to remember that the only way to get it to stop is to say “voodoo dick off.”
So the guy brings it home and his wife is thrilled. The next day while he’s at work, she quickly gets it out and says, “voodoo dick my pussy”. After an hour of this, she has to get ready for work, but she can’t remember how to turn it off, so she tries to drive to her husbands work with the voodoo dick in her.
Unfortunately, she can’t drive like this and swerves all over the road. Eventually, a cop pulls her over and asks what the problem is. She scream, “I can’t get this voodoo dick to stop humping me!”
And the police officer quickly responds, “voodoo dick my ass.”
Q: Why did the girl run into the door?
A: She forgot to open it.
Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks while gambling, the big, high-class casinos are now equipped with sophisticated defibrillators.
They are computer-controlled to deliver the exact electric shock needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you’re at a big, high-class casino.
At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob.
A couple went to pay a visit to another couple, unannounced. The wife answered the door. “Come in,” she said.
The other couple came in, sat down, then asked, “So, where’s Jack?”
“Oh,” replied his wife, “he’s in the bathroom, grouting and spackling.”
“Oh, dear,” said the other lady, “I had that once and didn’t get over it for two weeks.”