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Tag - door


Joke #23468

September 4th, 2013 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What do you have when 324 blueberries try to get through the same door?

A: A blueberry jam.

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Quote #23365

August 3rd, 2013 Posted in Quotes No Comments »

sisterpoobond: Why do you always close my door?

davepoobond: Cause I don’t like seeing you.

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komu

March 1st, 2013 Posted in Dictionary No Comments »

komu – n. a very loud and powerful fan that hangs above a doorway to keep air from the outside from going inside.  It is also meant to blow away napkins that people may have on their trays that they have not secured and are not ready for the fan to turn on, since it only turns on when the door is opened.

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Smiling Door

June 20th, 2012 Posted in Pictures No Comments »

Smiling Door

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Quote #22230

April 20th, 2012 Posted in Quotes No Comments »

“Naomi fucked the boxes in the storage room and fucked the door.”

– davepoobond

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Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song #22106

January 29th, 2012 Posted in (F) Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Songs, Poetry and Songs No Comments »

I hate you

You hate me

Let’s get together and slice barney

Into little square pieces

Then throw them out the door

Blood and guts scattered on the floor.

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Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song #21952

September 9th, 2011 Posted in (F) Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Songs, Poetry and Songs No Comments »

I hate you

You hate me

Let’s all go and kill Barney!

Punch him in the head, shoot him at the door!

No more purple dionsaur!!

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Joke #21855

August 12th, 2011 Posted in (C) Offensive Jokes, (C) Racist Jokes, (C) Sick Jokes, (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: What’s black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door?

A: A black guy with a spear through his head.

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Joke #21018: Voodoo Dick

April 3rd, 2011 Posted in (C) Sexual Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

A guy goes on vacation, and finds a rare an exotic porn shop. He goes in and asks the clerk if he has anything special that he could give to his wife.

The guys says that he has a “voodoo dick” which is a one of a kind dildo that fucks whatever you tell it to on demand. The buyer doesn’t believe him and asks for a demonstration. The clerk says, “voodoo dick the door” and the dildo immediately humps the door so vigorously that it falls down. The guy agrees to buy it for a tidy sum, and the clerk tells him to remember that the only way to get it to stop is to say “voodoo dick off.”

So the guy brings it home and his wife is thrilled. The next day while he’s at work, she quickly gets it out and says, “voodoo dick my pussy”. After an hour of this, she has to get ready for work, but she can’t remember how to turn it off, so she tries to drive to her husbands work with the voodoo dick in her.

Unfortunately, she can’t drive like this and swerves all over the road. Eventually, a cop pulls her over and asks what the problem is. She scream, “I can’t get this voodoo dick to stop humping me!”

And the police officer quickly responds, “voodoo dick my ass.”

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Joke #20897

March 30th, 2011 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »

Q: Why did the girl run into the door?

A: She forgot to open it.

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Joke #18727

February 22nd, 2011 Posted in Jokes No Comments »

Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks while gambling, the big, high-class casinos are now equipped with sophisticated defibrillators.

They are computer-controlled to deliver the exact electric shock needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you’re at a big, high-class casino.

At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob.

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Joke #18707

February 22nd, 2011 Posted in (C) Misogyny Jokes, (F) Conversational Joke, Jokes No Comments »

A couple went to pay a visit to another couple, unannounced.   The wife answered the door. “Come in,” she said.

The other couple came in, sat down, then asked, “So, where’s Jack?”

“Oh,” replied his wife, “he’s in the bathroom, grouting and spackling.”

“Oh, dear,” said the other lady, “I had that once and didn’t get over it for two weeks.”

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Joke #18703

February 22nd, 2011 Posted in Jokes No Comments »

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.

Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. “How do you suppose this ball got in here?” I asked the boy.

Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, “Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!”

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Joke #18666

February 21st, 2011 Posted in Jokes No Comments »

My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up a domestic dispute.

We spoke with the couple, and the problem was quickly resolved.

On leaving, I was admiring the craftsmanship of their turn-of-the-century home and reached for what I thought was the front door.

Realizing my mistake, I was turning away in embarrassment when my partner tried to cover for me by saying…

“If you have any more problems, we’ll be in your closet.”

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Joke #18593

February 21st, 2011 Posted in Jokes No Comments »

My husband David’s colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock.

When he was finally discovered, David and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called. A bit later, David noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and a voice from inside called, “Get me out!”

“Don’t worry,” David replied, “Maintenance should be sending somebody.”

“They did,” said the voice.

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