areqge – v. to drink coffee with your bowl of cereal at 6 P.M.

Tags: areqge, cereal, coffee, verb

Tags: coffee, food, Ronald McDonald

Tagged People: McDonalds

henearkrxern – v. to spill two week old coffee into a plastic bag and then leave it on the ground

Tags: bag, coffee, henearkrxern, verb

A new celebrity restaurant chain is opening up nationwide.

It is a partnership between Kareem Abdul Jabarr, Ryan Coffee, and Sugar Ray Leonard.

They’re going to call it: “Coffee, with Kareem and Sugar”

Tags: coffee, cream, restaurant, sugar

Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick.

“How old is the coffee you have here?” I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve only been working here two weeks.”

Tags: black, coffee, gas station, woman

The district attorney was cross-examining the murderess on the witness stand.

“And so after you had poisoned the coffee and your husband sat at the breakfast table partaking of the fatal dosage, didn’t you feel any qualms? Didn’t you feel the slightest pity for him knowing that he was about to die and was wholly unconscious of it?”

“Yes,” she answered. “Come to think of it…there was just a moment when I sort of felt sorry for him.”

“And, when was that?”

“When he asked for the second cup.”

Tags: breakfast, coffee, cup, husband, murder, poison, table

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other and says to the waiter, “Want coffee.”

The waiter says, “Sure thing, coming right up.”

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. After drinking the coffee down in one gulp, the Indian turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, then just walks out of the place!

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, “Want coffee!”

The waiter says, “Whoa, mister! We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck is all this about, anyway?”

The Indian smiles and proudly says, “Training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.”

Tags: buffalo, coffee, Native American, store manager

Every morning during our coffee break, my co-workers and I listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague.  We then tried to share some helpful hints and recipes.

One day she asked us for step-by-step instructions on cooking sweet potatoes, one of her husband’s favorites. “I’ve finally been able to make them sweet,” she said, “but how do you make them orange?”

Tags: co-worker, coffee, morning, orange, potato

“I reckon I’ll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!”

“Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let’s draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution.”

“Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room.”

“Injuns! Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!”

“Y’know, Badlands Pete… a roaring campfire, good coffee, nice prairie breeze, just you ‘n’ me… what say we put on the rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?”

“Let’s see… hardtack and pemmican… that’s three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches.”

“You ‘n’ Slim round up them strays, and I’ll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue.”

“That’s him! That’s the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!”

“He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration.”

“Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?”

“It’s like I keep tellin’ ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge.”

“HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! …Okay, now a little to the left…..Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!”

Tags: campfire, coffee, cookie, decagon, dirt, movie, therapist, wagon, women

Q: When does Dracula find time to eat?

A: During a coffin break!

Tags: coffee, coffin, Dracula

Q: Why wouldn’t the mailman deliver the ghost’s letter?

A: He was on his coffin break!

Tags: coffee, coffin, ghost, letter, mailman

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Tags: coffee

Written in the profile field “Personal Quote:”

you cannot pee into a Mr. Coffee and get Tasters Choice…

- from the internet

Tags: coffee, internet, pee, profile

“Ten you plus tea equals you plus tea and thats what happened at the Boston Coffee Party I went to last night at a restaurant called Shmoe Joe”

- Ms. E

Tags: coffee, tea

Tagged People: Ms. E

MR. CHEAP: “How much does a cup of coffee cost?”

WAITER: “30 cents.”

MR. CHEAP: “How much for a refill?”

WAITER: “A refill is free.”

MR. CHEAP: “Great!  I’ll have a refill.”

Tags: coffee, cup, free, money, waiter