Quote #22153: Lola’s Forgotten Present

This entry is part 21 of 26 in the series The Retail Report

::Billy is reading a book and a picture of his ex-girlfriend from 11th grade pops out and falls on the floor.::

::davepoobond picks it up off the floor and on the back, is written…::

2: My Dearest Bugs or Googely Bear AKA Billy =)

Here is a brand new pic of your sexy bunny for you to drool over.  Enjoy.

Don’t get too happy.

11th grade 02-03

<3 always, Lola

::After reading the back out loud, davepoobond turns the picture around and acts shocked, mostly cause of how she looks, which is more on the unattractive side than the latter::

davepoobond: I’m keeping this for my journal, are you sure you don’t want it?

Billy: No!  I DON’T WANT IT!!!

– at davepoobond’s job, 6/5/07

 

Tongue Twisters

– Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.

– Seventy sailors sailed seven swift ships.

– Joe jumps joyfully in June and July.

– Davy Dear ducks Dinah Dear daily.

– Fast Freddie Frog fries fat flying fish.

– Hairy Harry Hartley hurries home.

– Slippery southern snakes slide swiftly down ski slopes.

– Billy Bunny burst his big beautiful blue balloon.

– Fran fans Fred frantically.

– Fast Frank fries frankfurters and french fries.

– How many bagels could a Beagle bake if a Beagle could bake bagels?

– Seven silly skunks sighed sadly.

– Little Linda Lamb licks her lovely lips.

– “Shoot, Sally,” Slim Sam shouted shyly.

– Wee Willy whistles to wise Wilber Whale.

 

The Case of the Missing Coat of Arms

I was stupid in 6th grade and thought it would be funny that I should make this like a Scooby Doo mystery. Remember, I made this in 1997, when I was in 6th grade…

—————————

(version 9.9999.1 ½)

On September 4, 1994 King Arthur’s coat of arms was stolen. Detective Sam Smith was at his desk filing a report on some “punk” he caught on Main St. when the Sheriff came up to him and said “Smith, King Arthur’s Coat of guns were stolen!” Det. Smith said, “I believe that is coat of armor sir.” “No” said the Sheriff “it says coat of arms so I’m thinking that someone stole the guns to take over the world!” Det. Smith said, “OK I’ll take the task, but, before I leave, it’s armor that was stolen.” “Guns” said the Sheriff, but Det. Smith was in his Viper before he said it.

When he got to the scene of the crime no one was there. In a distant tunnel there was a bunch of photographers on top of a crashed car taking pictures of the car. Det. Smith thought nothing of it. He went inside the castle and there was King Arthur’s coat of arms! Then out of nowhere, a monster came out of the darkness! Det. Smith started running. As Det. Smith ran down the endless corridor he saw a lot of chandeliers. He thought maybe he could trap the guy by cutting a rope and trapping the monster inside like the cartoons!

When he had a chance he cut the rope on a chandelier he captured the monster, then he said, “It’s time to unmask you. He took off a mask and he said, “Don Knotts?”

He thought and said, “Hey wait a minute.” He tool off tons of masks. It sorta went in this order: Don Knotts, Scooby Doo, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Michael Jackson, Bugs Bunny, Bigfoot, and millions of others. Then the crook said, “Enough with the masks!!!” Then the crook took off the remaining masks. Det. Smith said, “Sheriff? Why did you do it Sheriff?” The “Sheriff” said, “Why do you think …. Because I’m evil ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” “Sorry whoever you are but you’re going to jail!

THE END