Quote #22820

I’m really good at

“Oral! It’s my fav thing, giving and receiving. Being able to please a guy and have him shoot down my throat is so hot! Most chicks can’t even do it right… I can guarantee you’ll be pleased. If you’re not interested in anything more with me, I’m always down for a hot blowjob.

As far as what I like, love lots of cum and precum so that’s always a plus. And love a guy who’s not afraid to taste his own either, out of my pussy or mouth or ass or wherever. Always thought guys who liked to cum in their own mouth or give themselves facials were so hott! Big turn on for me. Also really love anal, I can cum just from that. And I wouldn’t say I’m dominant or submissive, but I do like a guy who can take control when necessary and has confidence, and still knows how to please me. :)”

– from a girl’s dating profile

 

Tiny Tower (iOS) Review

Developer/Publisher: NimbleBit LLC || Overall: 6.0/10

Hardware Used: iPhone 5 with iOS 6

Tiny Tower is one of those games that takes a relatively simple concept and artificially inflates the time it takes to do anything to make you feel like spending money to get ahead.  But that’s every game nowadays on an iOS or Android platform, and its easy to get riled up about business aspects of any of these “free to play, pay to win” games.  So, what does Tiny Tower offer that you might not occasionally see in other games?  Well, I can’t say that there’s much that I really “enjoy” about the game except for maybe two things: the art style and the humor.  It’s nice to say that in this case, Tiny Tower actually tries to go “against” the curb, looking cartoony or “old” (read: 8-bit) and get away with it.  Truth be told, the art style mixed with the humor therein is more what makes this game enjoyable than anything else.

In Tiny Tower, the basic goal of the game is to add more floors to your tower.  Your tower floors can be residential or a random store within six individual categories.  The people who live in your tower work in your tower.  These little slave people bend to your will and will work and live wherever you tell them to.  And if you don’t like their face or their skills, you can evict them.  Ah, yes, Tiny Tower is also probably making a social commentary on the downturn of the economy with people having “dream jobs” of working in a donut shop or a coffee house, but I digress — that is probably part of the humor of the game and also adds an element of difficulty in trying to match your “Bitizens” (whom live in your tower) to work and be happy.  Oh, and they also pay you rent.  It’s indentured servitude at its finest, and they can wear a sheet to look like a ghost while doing it all.

Tiny Tower is an okay game.  It isn’t exactly the most fun that I’ve ever had with my spangly-dangly iPhone, and I can’t imagine I’d be playing this game for very long because of it.  I think what actually ticks me off about the game more than anything is that there is a lot of micromanaging involved.  Each business on your floor has 3 items it can sell, and each take a certain amount of time to “re-stock.”  Once re-stocked, the game notifies you the item is ready to be stocked, and doesn’t start selling until you go back into the game to click it and then get back out.  I thought I was paying my little slaves to do that for me, why do I have to get notifications every 3 seconds to do something new?  I thought this game was supposed to be leisurely fun, not harassing me to pay attention to it like a GigaPet or Tomagatchi!  Not only do I have to do that, but I have to monitor all of the floors individually by clicking on them and figuring out which items will become out of stock soon.  There isn’t an easy way to just view all of the possible re-stocking actions I can do and decide from there — I have to individually click 6 different floors to see what’s up and if I don’t, I run the risk of losing potential money.  What happens when I get to 30 or 40 floors?  Who do they think they’re kidding with this?

Reeling it back a little bit, there is basically one goal to the game, and that is to add more floors for you to manage.  To accomplish this, the game gives you two currencies.  You know that when there are “two currencies” in a game, one is the one you actually want (Coins), and the other is the one that they want you to buy with real money (Towerbux) so that you can save “time” and actually progress in the game to the point of madness before you have your third coronary.  Towerbux can be used to buy more coins, or pay off some of your Bitizens to do stuff faster.  Great, so why couldn’t I do that with coins?  OH, that’s because Towerbux cost like 3 to 9 cents each (depending on the bulk size) and THEN you can convert them into coins, but you can’t seem to do it the other way around.   Tiny Tower allows for a little leniency in this regard, however, since there are actually ways to earn Towerbux INSIDE the game and as a result the game is balanced around using Towerbux to at least a certain extent.  It makes Towerbux not seem as useless as its cousins in other games, like BlowJobBux, or whatever they’re called in other games, since you actually get to use them.  If a game were giving out free Blow Jobs, would you not partake?

Coins are the real end-game, however, and the more coins you get the more floors you can add to get more coins for the whole process.  Towerbux essentially help you earn more coins at a faster rate, and depending on if your math skills are any good, you have to figure out what the best way to use your Towerbux actually will be.  My general tactic seems to be using it for the “3rd tier” items for whatever has the most stock that can sell (since they sell for 3 coins each, as opposed to the lower tiers which are 1 and 2 respectively).  The amount of stock that an item can maintain depends on who works there, which also relies on your ability to count from 0 to 9 and being able to assign people to the right color based on those numbers.  Sometimes Bitizens will be useless in your situation, so you can evict them and hope for a better idiot to replace the guy who is wearing last year’s purple hat.  Or hope that you’ll get an Asian-looking lady for your Day Spa so that you can start selling Happy Endings.

There isn’t ALWAYS something to do in the game, though.  So, during those times where you’re just trying to wait for more measly minutes of your life to pass you by while you wait for another event to happen in Tiny Tower, you can act like an elevator attendant and work for tips.  Depending on what floor they ask you to take them to, you’ll get twice the amount of coins there.  However, you will occasionally get one Towerbux instead and boy howdy, it’s time to go to the strip bar!  If you know what I mean… it’s on the 69th floor and the 3rd tier of stock to sell is Backroom Dances, so you can tell them to “Hurry!” and get some more Backroom Dances in stock so that people can start buying them at 3 coins each so you can repeat the whole process again and be depressed that there is absolutely nothing better to do with your time than be a slave to this game.

Not only do you have to wait anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 (or more?) hours for things to restock, but you have to use coins to pay for the restocking so that you can earn more coins.  It sort of doesn’t make sense to me when you look at it from a gameplay standpoint, even if it makes sense in a real life standpoint.  But this game is not real life, it is a game.  They should just make us earn less coins per stock or reduce the amount of stock you gain per restock.  It is sort of a weird, needless, cyclical thing going on and perhaps it is some sort of fail safe on their end so that if you end up spending all your coins and somehow can’t afford to restock anything you have to sit there and waste an hour elevating people to parts of the tower that are closed because they can’t sell them anything — or buy Towerbux so that you can exchange them for Coins!!  AHA!  I found out their little scheme.  But, for now, I’m just going to chalk that up to another one of those “meaningless” micromanaging things they thought was necessary to include in this game, since there’s a lot of those already.  Once you further progress in the game, you are also able to fulfill missions and get Towerbux for them.  There are about 50 of them, and it probably isn’t even worth doing for the return you get.

So, what makes me come back to this game?  Honestly, not much.  The only idle interest I have in pursuing the game any further is to see how ridiculous the micromanagement of all of your stores can get once you add a lot of floors to your tower.  I’ve played the game for approximately two days and I already find it taxing on my sanity.  Every three minutes I feel like I have to go back to the game and do “something” before I put it down and wait another three minutes to do “something” again.  The game is stable and has some seemingly useless social aspects in which you can see what towers your friends have or whatever, but that interests me not in the slightest.  How about spending more time on a single-player experience and less with these meaningless faux-multiplayer features?

This game certainly didn’t help my terrible cough, that’s for sure.

Post-mortem:

Since I wrote the review, I ended up getting to the point at which I had 40 floors in my Tower.  The more floors you added, it seemed like the game began to become less stable and you would get random crashes now and then.  They also updated the game for “Valentine’s Day” a week before February even rolled around, and made everything an obnoxious pink.

I finally decided enough was enough and I uninstalled the game on February 3rd.  I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I probably should have done it much earlier.  This is an absolutely terrible game, and I would probably re-rate it at about 3.0/10 based on playing it for a long time (3 weeks straight?).  I can only imagine what floor that poor schmucks out there who actually enjoy this game are at, and how much time per day they spend restocking and shuffling Bitizens.

 

WoW Chat #21934: Slevinn -> davepoobond

In trade chat…

[2] [davepoobond]: i am almost at 3 million gold

Slevinn: how do you make so much gold

Slevinn: i will give you a bj for a million

davepoobond: r u a grl

Slevinn: yes

davepoobond: how big r ur boobs

Slevinn: 34c

davepoobond: what is the psi of your mouth

Slevinn: i have no gage reflex

davepoobond: psi!

davepoobond: pounds/square inch

Slevinn: is that like sucking pressure or what

davepoobond: yes

Slevinn: more then you can handle

davepoobond: sounds interesting

davepoobond: how much experience do you have

Slevinn: enough

davepoobond: do you have any personal references

Slevinn: haha not that play wow

davepoobond: i see…

davepoobond: i have inside sources that say 34c is small, do you beg to differ?

Slevinn: yeah

davepoobond: are there any extra addons

Slevinn: 4

davepoobond: 4 what

davepoobond: i meant like perks

davepoobond: what makes you different from the competition

davepoobond: 34c isnt small, its a nice size

davepoobond: i looked it up on google

 

#7: AWSSkater -> SheMaleHo

AWSSkater: i need a new one

SheMaleHo: your “Moo Moo’s” a fag!!!

SheMaleHo: i killed it and nailed it to a crucifix!!!

AWSSkater: FAGGOT

AWSSkater: are you talking to cait?

SheMaleHo: then i barbequed it

SheMaleHo: no

SheMaleHo: im watching you

AWSSkater: ask her why it keeps saying i cant talk to her

SheMaleHo: whA?

SheMaleHo: i can see you out my window…

AWSSkater: cool

AWSSkater: what am i doing

SheMaleHo: i nailed “Moo Moo’s” head on the hood of my car

AWSSkater: what room am i in

SheMaleHo: theone with the computer

SheMaleHo: am i right?

AWSSkater: yes

AWSSkater: and what room is that

SheMaleHo: the one with the keyboard in it

SheMaleHo: it also has a door

SheMaleHo: am i right?

AWSSkater: caits name doesnt work anymore

SheMaleHo: your house is brown

AWSSkater: yes

AWSSkater: you cheated

SheMaleHo: and its on a corner

AWSSkater: you cheated again

SheMaleHo: your upstairs

SheMaleHo: your typing from your bed

AWSSkater: yes

AWSSkater: you’re still cheating

SheMaleHo: you have long black hair

SheMaleHo: ooooh you look so nice

AWSSkater: anything else you’d like to add

AWSSkater: when is my birthday?

SheMaleHo: im gonna feel you….

SheMaleHo: i dont know, i can just see you

AWSSkater: what color is my shirt

SheMaleHo: you know what color it is

AWSSkater: yes, but do you

SheMaleHo: of course! i can see you silly

SheMaleHo: oooh im taking off my pants to look at you

AWSSkater: you’re gay

SheMaleHo: you got it! :-*

AWSSkater: wow

AWSSkater: im right

SheMaleHo: i wish you had no shirt

SheMaleHo: 😛

AWSSkater: but i do

AWSSkater: ask cait why i cant talk to her, i know you can

SheMaleHo: i know

SheMaleHo: i can?

AWSSkater: unless this is her in disguise

AWSSkater: she tricked me like that before, you know

AWSSkater: well she didnt trick me

SheMaleHo: this isnt a trick

AWSSkater: i knew it was her

SheMaleHo: take off your shirt

SheMaleHo: oh c’mon

AWSSkater: um…

AWSSkater: no?

SheMaleHo: my pants are already off, dont waste my time

AWSSkater: im back, ugly

SheMaleHo: i like it when you talk dirty

AWSSkater: oh

AWSSkater: okay

SheMaleHo: say it again

AWSSkater: okay

SheMaleHo: Cryin’ Ryan

AWSSkater: shutup

AWSSkater: Trunks Briefs

SheMaleHo: Cryyyyyyyin’ Ryyyyyyyyan

AWSSkater: ho

SheMaleHo: oooh, Briefs, you wear briefs?

AWSSkater: no actually i wear boxers

AWSSkater: either you keep asking cait stuff or you are her in disguise,
which is it

SheMaleHo: disquise?

SheMaleHo: ooooh kinky, role playing

AWSSkater: what?

SheMaleHo: ok, ill me the bad dog and you be my master, discipline me

AWSSkater: um…

AWSSkater: go in the corner while i piss on your head

SheMaleHo: soooo kinky

AWSSkater: you’re weird

SheMaleHo: lemme get the whip and handcuffs

AWSSkater: that would be okay if you were female, but you arent

AWSSkater: as far as i know

SheMaleHo: y’know, i have a dog, i can bring him over with some whipped cream and peanut butter

AWSSkater: that’s okay

SheMaleHo: we can be a sandwich!

AWSSkater: no

SheMaleHo: well…still want my thong?

AWSSkater: what?

AWSSkater: you scare me

SheMaleHo: im going to throw my purple thong at your window, catch it

AWSSkater: k

SheMaleHo: wait, ill keep them

SheMaleHo: theyre edible

AWSSkater: k

SheMaleHo: and im hungry

AWSSkater: lol

AWSSkater: how many dogs do i have>

AWSSkater: ?

SheMaleHo: oh, Caaiiiiite

AWSSkater: shutup

SheMaleHo: OMG!!! shes flashing me again!

AWSSkater: shutup

SheMaleHo: theres a sign

SheMaleHo: it says….I…..want….you….Ch…whats that?

SheMaleHo: her boob is blocking it

AWSSkater: what?

SheMaleHo: Ch….r….i…damn nipple

SheMaleHo: Chris!

SheMaleHo: me!

AWSSkater: shutup

SheMaleHo: whats the matter Cryin’ Ryan

SheMaleHo: jealous?

AWSSkater: nothing of that sort is happening so it doesnt matter

SheMaleHo: it is

AWSSkater: riiiiigggghhhht, and my name is blowjob

SheMaleHo: oooooooooh sexy

AWSSkater: hey

AWSSkater: no

SheMaleHo: come over to my place, my nickname is…snoow blow

AWSSkater: LOL

AWSSkater: how many cats do i have

SheMaleHo: lemme count

SheMaleHo: hmmmm

SheMaleHo: hmmm

SheMaleHo: not counting the one i nailed to a crucufix…1…

SheMaleHo: Moo moo and Mickey

SheMaleHo: or Kittie

SheMaleHo: whatever

AWSSkater: what color is mickey

SheMaleHo: ummm…

AWSSkater: lol

SheMaleHo: Dark brown…and black striped

SheMaleHo: Ewwww, whats that scab on his head?

AWSSkater: scap is a funny word

SheMaleHo: so is homo…oh wait

AWSSkater: here is a tough question

AWSSkater: where is my birthmark

SheMaleHo: take off all your clothes first

SheMaleHo: i think i see it on your…wait…im to distracted by Caites boob

SheMaleHo: wait…its on…your arm i think

SheMaleHo: am i right?

AWSSkater: yeah

AWSSkater: where

SheMaleHo: Caite…

AWSSkater: what

SheMaleHo: nipple

SheMaleHo: nipple

AWSSkater: boobie

SheMaleHo: nipple

AWSSkater: boobie

SheMaleHo: y’know…im actually…your uncle

SheMaleHo: your long lost uncle

SheMaleHo: and im attracted to you….im a hillbilly

AWSSkater: ::says in a hillbilly accent:: get on yer knees and take down them suspender boy!!

SheMaleHo: Ok sailor!!!

AWSSkater: lol

AWSSkater: or are you a female

AWSSkater: im not sure

SheMaleHo: well lets see….im your uncle!! so could i be male…or female

AWSSkater: lol

AWSSkater: im messing around

SheMaleHo: want some weed from your ol’ uncle?

SheMaleHo: its the herb of the earth

AWSSkater: i hate drugs

SheMaleHo: the herb will set your mind free!, man!!!

AWSSkater: so will spinning around in circles

SheMaleHo: so is doing anal…

AWSSkater: weird

SheMaleHo: you..think anal is weird?

SheMaleHo: obviously youve never tried it

SheMaleHo: come over to my house

SheMaleHo: its the pink frilly one on fudgepacker avenue

AWSSkater: i dont pack fudge

AWSSkater: im not a poopie dick

AWSSkater: by the way, how do you see my room with the curtain closed

SheMaleHo: im your uncle…Clark Kent, i have X-ray Vision

AWSSkater: clark kent doesnt have X-ray vision

SheMaleHo: who would know better? Clark Kent or you Cryin’ Ryan?

AWSSkater: who would know what better

SheMaleHo: who would know better if i had X-ray vision?

SheMaleHo: to tell you a secret, Im superman

SheMaleHo: doesnt it all make sense?

AWSSkater: yeah, but clark kent doesnt have x-ray vision only superman

SheMaleHo: i live in the country, so im a hilbilly, i wear redish tights
so i must have a purple thong SOMEWHERE, and i can see through your curtains

AWSSkater: so that makes you very weird

SheMaleHo: im a hillbilly and i have a shotgun

AWSSkater: what color is the bracelet im wearing

SheMaleHo: hmmmm

SheMaleHo: X-ray visios is kinda color blind but lemme try

AWSSkater: okay

SheMaleHo: its kinda silver…

SheMaleHo: with a purplish tint

SheMaleHo: am i right?

AWSSkater: yes

AWSSkater: actaully pink

AWSSkater: what color are my eyes

SheMaleHo: hmmmm

SheMaleHo: purple…right?

AWSSkater: no

SheMaleHo: oh wait, i was staring at Caites nipple again, sorry

SheMaleHo: brown

AWSSkater: lol

AWSSkater: what color is my real hair

SheMaleHo: hmmmm

SheMaleHo: medium brown

SheMaleHo: just like your pubes…i mean!! your…

AWSSkater: lol

AWSSkater: now you wont know stuff, cait signed off

SheMaleHo: she was online?

AWSSkater: maybe

SheMaleHo: puuuubes

SheMaleHo: nipple

SheMaleHo: Cryin’ Ryan

AWSSkater: that was an old nickname, you dont have to call me that anymore

SheMaleHo: im related to the king of Bahrain

AWSSkater: hey

AWSSkater: i know him

AWSSkater: the poo guy

SheMaleHo: Clark Kents, the hillbilly, purple thong wearing, attracted to his nephew cryin Ryan, prince of Bahrain

AWSSkater: hehe

AWSSkater: so you know the poo guy too

AWSSkater: thats probably you

SheMaleHo: oh yes

SheMaleHo: hes a VERY good freind

AWSSkater: the guy i beat with a wifflle ball bat

SheMaleHo: why did you do that?

SheMaleHo: hes the king of Bahrain!

SheMaleHo: you cant do that to him!!!

AWSSkater: but i did

SheMaleHo: this is an outrage! you must come to my house for your….punishment :Þ

AWSSkater: where do you live then

SheMaleHo: Bahrain but a ihave a house…near you

AWSSkater: where is that

SheMaleHo: its right next to Saudi Arabia, its too small to be on the map anyway

AWSSkater: that’s pretty far away

SheMaleHo: 600 people live there

AWSSkater: lol