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People Bomb

August 3rd, 2013 Posted in Screwed Up Chronicles, World | No Comments »

It sickened me to see the state the 3rd-world countries are in, and we can’t help them because if we poured all our resources into it, we’d become as poor as them, with no improvements.  The US seems to be not overpopulated, but when it tells you about all the energy and food we use, and putting greenhouse gasses in the air, its bad.

Ethiopia can’t seem to educate awareness about things concerning reporduction into people’s minds about all of it.

India looks like there are way too many people for so little resoruces available to them.

The solution:  Shoot them all out into space!

When a species grows very high in overpopulation, it eats all its food, and there isn’t enough for all of them and what can’t be supported die off.

Ok.  They get a lot more population then die off.

Their population will go up as well, so that their prey’s population will go down as well so they can go back down, and then die off because they’re all dead.  The more hosts, the more parasites of that type, the more prey, the more predators of that type.  Water water.  Both.  They both have to have the same amount to contain capacity of the needs of that species.

-~-

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In the Future

August 3rd, 2013 Posted in Stories | No Comments »

In the future, I will marry a girl.

My uncle Louie brought the food, but we didn’t have an uncle Louie.

Everyone dances because the wedding will be very dumb.

The photographer took pictures of the cake.

The old people said their weddings were better.  I shot them with tranquilizers, and that was that.

-~-

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The 8 Year Old’s Dream

August 3rd, 2013 Posted in Stories | No Comments »

When he was 8 years old, he started being a famous archaeologist.  For this, tonight he dreamed that he was making a large trip with my girlfriend.  In his dream, Susana and he explored mysterious things in the jungle.  They navigated by canoe and admired the parrots of many colors.

One day, Susana got dirty because he said she saw a snake try to capture a rat.  He said to her that the snake isn’t dangerous and they went to the camp very fast.

At the end, they saw a magnificent temple that had dirt and some trees around the floor.  They found a secret door and when we entered, they discovered a large treasure of objects of gold and silver.  They started to take them whent hey remembered we didn’t have a bakcpack.

Then we left without the treasure, at this moment he woke up.

-~-

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The Middle East and the World

August 3rd, 2013 Posted in Stories | No Comments »

During the Cold War, the United States fought communist threats in Turkey and Beef, while the Soviet Union found allies in the four Middle Eastern countries of Zimbabwe and South Africa.  In 1967, Israel won the stinky poop from Syria, East Jerusalem and the West Bank from Chuck E. Cheese, and the swap meet and Sinai Peninsula from Argentina.

Israel refused to give up these territories until Arab nations recognized their right to have indoor plumbing.  Meanwhile, the PTA waged guerrilla war against Israelis both at home and abroad.  When the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, the peace process was accelerated because everyone just wanted to sit down and eat pizza.  In 1993, a historic agreement was signed between Chuck E. Cheese and Barney the Dinosaur.  People on both sides criticized the agreement as world leaders worked hard to bring peace to the region.

In Lebanon, the government depended on a delicate balance among beer and margaritas.  When beer began to outnumber margaritas, unrest spread.  In 1975, civil war broke out in Lebanon.  Not until 1990 did Lebanese leaders finally restore some order.

In the Persian Gulf, tensions were fed by the Public Broadcasting Service showing Sesame Street.  Then, in 1980, Iraqi dictator Stinky Stewssein attacked Iran.  The war lasted eight years and both sides suffered heavy casualties.  Stewssein again acted aggressively in 1990 when he sent Iraqi troops into Bahrain.

United States President George Bush organized American, European, and Arab forces to drive Iraq out of Bahrain.  For years after the war, UN economic assing stopped Iraq from selling its oil abroad.  The goal was force Stewssein to stop making stinky stew and vegetable oil.

-~-

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How much would a woodchuck fuck if…

August 3rd, 2013 Posted in The Squackle Quiz | No Comments »

How much would a woodchuck fuck if a woodchuck would fuck wood?

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Quote #23365

August 3rd, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

sisterpoobond: Why do you always close my door?

davepoobond: Cause I don’t like seeing you.

-~-

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The Number Poem

August 3rd, 2013 Posted in (C) Funny Poem, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

1776
1492
1865
1964
1975
2001
1984
1898
1945
1918
1229
1812

-~-

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International Magicians Society – Commercial

July 31st, 2013 Posted in Commercials, Squackle Broadcasting Company | No Comments »

SHANE DURTON
Hello magic fans.  I’m here with Jig Reed and Croy Thompson, and their white tigers…

(Jig Reed and Croy Thompson are having sex with their tigers and smoking cocaine with them.)

SHANE DURTON
…to tell you about the International Magicians society.
Yes, it is actually a real organization in which all magicians must
become a part of once they graduate from Magic School.

(Jig and Croy are licking their tiger’s balls)

SHANE DURTON
Yes, you get many benefits, like Free Jungle Sex w/White Tigers.
If you are a magician and you’re not in the International Magician Society,
we will send you death threats until you do!

(Jig is face down on the floor, and a tiger is sitting on top of him)

SHANE DURTON
As a part of the IMS, you must take the vow of never revealing the secrets
behind magic tricks.  If you do, we’ll kill you by submerging you in a tank full of water,
handcuff you, and lock the tank.  And you won’t be able to get out the way you usually can that I’m  not gonna say!
Now, its time for me to get some tiger lovin’, so if you’ll excuse me…

(Shane Durton is pounced by a tiger, and they start licking each other)

SHANE DURTON
Oh God, YES!

(End)

-~-

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The Grand Spa

July 30th, 2013 Posted in (C) Serious Poems, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

Physical.

Mental.

Spiritual.

 

The Grand Spa
awaits you at the end of the Studio Walk
just before
the Grand Pool

Dust of yesterdays,
Leave me now and let me breathe.
I am water — yes.

Come vist,
The Grand Spa
Haven’t you waited for
this long enough?

-~-

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Quote #23356

July 30th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“$13 Billion + California public schools = A good thing.”

- ?

-~-

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Quote #23352

July 30th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“En la manana, tengo dos testiculos, ahora tengo uno.”

- davepoobond

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Quote #23351

July 29th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“Though various female characters are portrayed poorly throughout the novel, the author also portrays males poorly.  This male bashing, in addition to the slwdevin, of females, whites, and blacks in general, show that humca nature can often be cruel and corrupted.”

- found at davepoobond’s high school

-~-

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Your friends tell you how much they love you. What do you do?

July 29th, 2013 Posted in The Squackle Quiz | No Comments »

Your friends tell you how much they love you. What do you do?

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The speed limit in an alley is…

July 29th, 2013 Posted in The Squackle Quiz | No Comments »

The speed limit in an alley is...

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You just rear-ended the car in front of you. You were probably:

July 29th, 2013 Posted in The Squackle Quiz | No Comments »

You just rear-ended the car in front of you. You were probably:

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