Ridiculous Spam Mail #24741: Sad Trip!!!

From: Sally

Subject: Sad Trip!!!………………………Sally

Message:

I really hope you get this fast. I could not inform anyone about our trip, because it was impromptu. we had to be in Philippines for Tour.. The program was successful, but our journey has turned sour. we misplaced our wallet and cell phone on our way back to the hotel we lodge in after we went for sight seeing. The wallet contained all the valuables we had. Now, our passport is in custody of the hotel management pending when we make payment.

I am sorry if i am inconveniencing you, but i have only very few people to run to now. i will be indeed very grateful if i can get a short term loan from you ($2,250 dollars). this will enable me sort our hotel bills and get my sorry self back home. I will really appreciate whatever you can afford in assisting me with. I promise to refund it in full as soon as soon as I return. You can have the $2,250 dollars. wired to me via Western Union. Have it wired to my name and present location, here are the details you need to have it wired to me..

Receiver’s Name: Sally
Location: <censored>
Country: manila,Philippines

Once you are done Kindly e-mail me the Confirmation details (MTCN) for the pick up of the funds.

Let me know when you head out to Western Union??

Sally

 

CrazE-mail #24575

I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money. In this case I had done a simple video project and completed the work for the client.  I delivered the video to him at his Dropbox and basically had to wait for him to get me the payment, which was a modest $50.

Date: 01/15/12

Martin:

Thanks David.  Its fine for my purposes.  I will get pymt to you tomorrow.

Date: 01/16/12

davepoobond:

Hey Martin,

Just wanted to touch base again to see if you are able to send me payment today.  Thanks!

Date: 01/16/12

Martin:

Hey.  Sorry. I had a HORRIBLE day. It isn’t over yet. Haven’t gotten to it yet but will.  Had issues and couldn’t make my deadline.  Should be done tonight.

Date: 01/17/12

davepoobond:

Hey Martin,

Just checking in again to see if you’ll have an opportunity for payment today.  Thanks again.

I called him in between these e-mails asking about payment again, but was only able to leave a voice mail.

Date: 01/20/12

davepoobond:

Hey again Martin,

Sorry to keep buggin you about it, but I thought I’d send you an e-mail as well.  I left you a message about half an hour ago regarding the payment owed.  Let me know if I can assist you with it.  Thanks!

Date: 01/24/12

davepoobond:

Hey Martin,

Just wondering if you were going to be able to let me know if you were going to pay for the video I did for you last week.  Please let me know ASAP.  Thank you.

Date: 01/24/12

Martin:

David,
Sorry.  I haven’t forgotten you.  I had a HORRIBLE last 36 hrs.  I just found out a lot of very distressing news.  Please bear with me.  I assure you I will take care of it but I just found out the person I am subletting from hasn’t been paying the landlord and I need to move IMMEDIATELY.  That AND i got LAID OFF from my job yesterday so I am overloaded and don’t know what I have to do in the way of cash so i am trying to get my bearings.  Sorry. Be back in touch tomorrow.

Date: 01/24/12

davepoobond:

Sheesh… sounds terrible.  Don’t worry about it just get it to me when you can then.

Date: 01/24/12

Martin:

sorry to make my problems your problems.  i will get it handled soon..

At some point I called him again, and was given another bigger, escalating excuse as to why he couldn’t send me $50 for the work I did for him.  I think it had something to do with not even being able to use the video for its intended purpose.  At that point it wasn’t worth trying to collect, even though it was pretty funny/ridiculous.

 

CrazE-mail #24574

I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money. In this case I was experimenting with selling “voice acting” services and the following occurred.

Date: 09/12/11

Subject: Need a voice actor

AS:

Hi, I’m actually looking for a phone actor, for 10-15 mins. Is this something you can do?

davepoobond:

Yes, I think I can help you out with it.

What is the project?  If it is a video, what genre is it?

AS:

It’s not a video, sounds really silly but I need someone to pretend to be my dad over the phone.  My dad won’t talk to a friend of mine and I really need him to, it’s a complicated situation. I just need someone to talk to my friend for a few minutes. I’ll obviously pay whatever you charge for your service.

davepoobond:

Well, it is an odd proposition.  I’ll have to know more specifics before I can tell you I’d do it or not.

No reply after that.

 

CrazE-mail #24573

I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money.  In this case I was experimenting with selling “computer troubleshooting” services and the following occurred.

Date: 09/02/11

Subject: Quick Computer Troubleshooting/Help

Sweetandfun:

Hello I need help!!! Can u help me wipe out some old stuff on google  please give me a call

davepoobond:

I’m afraid that is outside of the scope of my power.  The only way to remove search results on Google is by removing the items on the originating web site.  Once they are removed, then it will take a couple of days or more for Google to clear it out of its search results.

Hope that helps you.

 

CrazE-mail #24563

Date: 04/15/08

Paul B:

Hi, I saw your post about Josh McKenzie and thought I would ask what state or town is your Josh in. My brother had some trouble with a kid by that name. Thanks for your help.

davepoobond:

Paul,

Sorry, don’t know him personally.  That was a dictionary word submitted a long time ago that I posted up.

Chances of him being the same Josh McKenzie you know are slim, but regardless, I don’t know him anyway, even if it was him.

Paul B:

Thank you for your response. I was hoping it was him. My niece likes this boy and I’m trying to convince her he is bad news. I’m in Ohio by the way.

Take care and may God bless.

 

Ridiculous Spam Mail #24501

Nice to meet you, my name is Ella. My boyfriend dumped me today in the morning.
I got so sad, that I first wanted to get drunk, but later I realized that finding a fuck buddy will be a better medicine for me.
Can you heal my broken heart with your magic cock? Get it out of your first aid kit and inject it through my vagina.

 

CrazE-mail #23031

Back in the year 2000, I was hosting Squackle at Angelfire, which was/is a free web host.  I got this e-mail and decided to have fun with them.

>>>From: “Angelfire Staff” <staff@angelfire.com>
>>>Subject: Password check
>>>Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 20:21:08 -0700

To ensure that your site, http://www.angelfire.com/ca4/squackle , is maintained properly, we periodically request that the webmaster of each site verify his or her password with Angelfire.  Please send your username, along with your password, to zoopx9@hotmail.com, my personal address, so that I can make sure everything is in order.  We hope you continue to use Angelfire to host your webpages in the future.

Sincerely,

Karl
Angelfire staff

>>>To: zoopx9@hotmail.com
>>>Subject: Re: Password check
>>>Date: Sat, 20 May 2000 08:13:59 PDT

hi!  how are you!  my password is:  jungjung  and my directory is biz/poopers

thank for making me safer on angelfire!

>>>From: “Tim Groves” <zoopx9@hotmail.com>
>>>Subject: Re: Password check
>>>Date: Sat, 20 May 2000 12:04:02 PDT

Hello again.  I received your e-mail containing the directory and password for your site at Angelfire.  However, the information was inaccurate.  Please verify that what you sent was correct and resend it.  We appreciate your cooperation, and thank you for using Angelfire.
Sincerely,

Karl
Angelfire Staff

 

Ridiculous Spam Mail #22447

Subject: Is that you?

Hello.
I know that every woman want to have a gentle, caring,honest and self confident man. I realy want to love. I am loyal, energetic and friendly person. Family and friends are big part of my life.
My hobby is collecting toys. When I enter the room where lot of toys are on the arm-chair and sofa my mood and condition becomes much better.

Do you wish to know more about me? Just write me: <insert spam link> Yours Evgenija.

 

Ridiculous Spam Mail #22175

Subject: Visit the Russia! Without clothes..

I was at the farm and suddenly saw William Blunk putting arm up the horses asrse, till his elbow.

Have you seen anything like that?

Just take a close look at that shit:

<insert link>

Tell me please, if you, pervert, really want to follow me, next time I go outside the town!

 

Ridiculous Spam Mail #22174

Subject: Why?

Hi.

Are you looking for a bride? Maybe I’m the that interest you!
My name is Karina and last name is Kuzmina. I live in Kaluga. I am a nice “kitten” with an interesting personality. You can see for yourself in my photos. I am 23 years. I have a good education and a profession favorite. I adore to go skating. I like communicating with my friends, discussing all aspects of living.
I have light hair and brown eyes and would love to write letters with good man. Oh, I can speak for hours about my ideal match and how I see relations with my true love. If you dream you meet me then contact me communicating with me is easy and fun and you will never be bored with me.

 

CrazE-mail #22099

Date: Mon, 23 Jan 2012
From: Christina the Neurotic
Subject: For the love of–NEED SHIFTS COVERED URGENTLY

Evening, everypony….

My gosh….I know this is my last week of my 2 weeks put in but jeez, they scheduled me ON MY INTERNSHIP days (Mon and Tues) when I SPECIFICALLY GAVE Zsal my Spring schedule waaaay before I was quitting and before this semester came even close.

Sigh…. apparently I missed a shift today because I didn’t even get the shift OVER THE WEEKEND. I didn’t get a call from them today about missing but there’s a shift just for me tomorrow…..NEED that covered, guys.

2:30pm-8pm Tuesday 1/24th. PLEASE guys.

Thanks to whomever will be my savior,
Christina the Neurotic.

 

CrazE-mail #22084

I have a Craigslist posting that I can help people with quick computer problems or troubleshooting something, with a more software-inclination, rather than hardware.  I don’t get any responses to it, but I did get the following.

from:  Sweetandfun
date:  Fri, Sep 2, 2011 at 8:19 PM
subject:  Quick Computer Troubleshooting/Help

Hello I need help!!! Can u help me wipe out some old stuff on google please give me a call im Sweetandfun <insert phone number here>

from:  davepoobond
date:  Fri, Sep 9, 2011 at 9:14 PM
subject:  Re: Quick Computer Troubleshooting/Help

I’m afraid that is outside of the scope of my power. The only way to remove search results on Google is by removing the items on the originating web site. Once they are removed, then it will take a couple of days or more for Google to clear it out of its search results.

Hope that helps you.

 

Looking for a Voice Actor?

I have a posting on Craigslist to offer my services as a voice actor.  I don’t get many responses to it, obviously, but I did get one, as follows.

from:  Stro
date: Mon, Sep 12, 2011 at 9:19 AM
subject:  Need a voice actor

Hi, I’m actually looking for a phone actor, for 10-15 mins. Is this something you can do?

from:  davepoobond
to:  Stro
date:  Mon, Sep 12, 2011 at 12:23 PM
subject:  Re: Need a voice actor

Yes, I think I can help you out with it.

What is the project?  If it is a video, what genre is it?

from:  Stro
date:  Mon, Sep 12, 2011 at 6:41 PM
subject:  Re: Need a voice actor

It’s not a video, sounds really silly but I need someone to pretend to be my dad over the phone.  My dad won’t talk to a friend of mine and I really need him to, it’s a complicated situation. I just need someone to talk to my friend for a few minutes. I’ll obviously pay whatever you charge for your service.

from: davepoobond
date:  Mon, Sep 12, 2011 at 6:54 PM
subject:  Re: Need a voice actor

Well, it is an odd proposition.  I’ll have to know more specifics before I can tell you I’d do it or not.