Ridiculous Spam Mail #25669

Subj:    HI DAVE!!!!

Date:   12/22/00 8:58:00 PM Pacific Standard Time

From: maeve2000

To: davepoobond

Hey Dave, how are you doing? I hope well. My name is Maeve and I was just checking out your profile on yahoo, so I thought I’d write. Well let me tell you a little about myself. I am 24 years old and have a job in the construction industry, but I don’t do much hard labor, I am an on site assistant manager that supervises different developments around the country.

Anyway I am always travelling because my boss likes to keep me out on the jobs instead of in the office since I am young and flexable with my time. I am sending you this message because I will be working on various projects throughout California for the next 8-10 weeks depending on the time it takes to get these project’s done. I can tell you that I am about 5’7 and single with a rather attractive body I think.  It would really be nice to meet a person here that could show me around the town because I am totally lost and really don’t do much with my time when I am not working.  I really don’t need to do anything that special to have a good time out.  I can have fun just going out and having a few beers or watching a movie. Plus it is always nice to get out of the hotel I am staying at near the airport and see what different towns and people have to offer.

Well I hope you don’t get the wrong impression about me, I am not looking for a serious relationship right now,  but sometimes the company of a man is needed from time to time and I am not totally close minded to having some sexual fun. Don’t think that is all I am about because I am a clean woman with morals it is just that I am human like everyone else, and I am going to have some fun while I am young and single.

Last but not least to say, I have just a few pics of myself that a girlfriend took of me and I think they look great. If you want I can send them to you so you can get an idea of what I look like. Hope to hear from you soon.!!



Ridiculous Spam Mail #24741: Sad Trip!!!

From: Sally

Subject: Sad Trip!!!………………………Sally


I really hope you get this fast. I could not inform anyone about our trip, because it was impromptu. we had to be in Philippines for Tour.. The program was successful, but our journey has turned sour. we misplaced our wallet and cell phone on our way back to the hotel we lodge in after we went for sight seeing. The wallet contained all the valuables we had. Now, our passport is in custody of the hotel management pending when we make payment.

I am sorry if i am inconveniencing you, but i have only very few people to run to now. i will be indeed very grateful if i can get a short term loan from you ($2,250 dollars). this will enable me sort our hotel bills and get my sorry self back home. I will really appreciate whatever you can afford in assisting me with. I promise to refund it in full as soon as soon as I return. You can have the $2,250 dollars. wired to me via Western Union. Have it wired to my name and present location, here are the details you need to have it wired to me..

Receiver’s Name: Sally
Location: <censored>
Country: manila,Philippines

Once you are done Kindly e-mail me the Confirmation details (MTCN) for the pick up of the funds.

Let me know when you head out to Western Union??



CrazE-mail #24575

I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money. In this case I had done a simple video project and completed the work for the client.  I delivered the video to him at his Dropbox and basically had to wait for him to get me the payment, which was a modest $50.

Date: 01/15/12


Thanks David.  Its fine for my purposes.  I will get pymt to you tomorrow.

Date: 01/16/12


Hey Martin,

Just wanted to touch base again to see if you are able to send me payment today.  Thanks!

Date: 01/16/12


Hey.  Sorry. I had a HORRIBLE day. It isn’t over yet. Haven’t gotten to it yet but will.  Had issues and couldn’t make my deadline.  Should be done tonight.

Date: 01/17/12


Hey Martin,

Just checking in again to see if you’ll have an opportunity for payment today.  Thanks again.

I called him in between these e-mails asking about payment again, but was only able to leave a voice mail.

Date: 01/20/12


Hey again Martin,

Sorry to keep buggin you about it, but I thought I’d send you an e-mail as well.  I left you a message about half an hour ago regarding the payment owed.  Let me know if I can assist you with it.  Thanks!

Date: 01/24/12


Hey Martin,

Just wondering if you were going to be able to let me know if you were going to pay for the video I did for you last week.  Please let me know ASAP.  Thank you.

Date: 01/24/12


Sorry.  I haven’t forgotten you.  I had a HORRIBLE last 36 hrs.  I just found out a lot of very distressing news.  Please bear with me.  I assure you I will take care of it but I just found out the person I am subletting from hasn’t been paying the landlord and I need to move IMMEDIATELY.  That AND i got LAID OFF from my job yesterday so I am overloaded and don’t know what I have to do in the way of cash so i am trying to get my bearings.  Sorry. Be back in touch tomorrow.

Date: 01/24/12


Sheesh… sounds terrible.  Don’t worry about it just get it to me when you can then.

Date: 01/24/12


sorry to make my problems your problems.  i will get it handled soon..

At some point I called him again, and was given another bigger, escalating excuse as to why he couldn’t send me $50 for the work I did for him.  I think it had something to do with not even being able to use the video for its intended purpose.  At that point it wasn’t worth trying to collect, even though it was pretty funny/ridiculous.


CrazE-mail #24574

I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money. In this case I was experimenting with selling “voice acting” services and the following occurred.

Date: 09/12/11

Subject: Need a voice actor


Hi, I’m actually looking for a phone actor, for 10-15 mins. Is this something you can do?


Yes, I think I can help you out with it.

What is the project?  If it is a video, what genre is it?


It’s not a video, sounds really silly but I need someone to pretend to be my dad over the phone.  My dad won’t talk to a friend of mine and I really need him to, it’s a complicated situation. I just need someone to talk to my friend for a few minutes. I’ll obviously pay whatever you charge for your service.


Well, it is an odd proposition.  I’ll have to know more specifics before I can tell you I’d do it or not.

No reply after that.


CrazE-mail #24573

I occasionally try to sell my services on Craigslist to make extra money.  In this case I was experimenting with selling “computer troubleshooting” services and the following occurred.

Date: 09/02/11

Subject: Quick Computer Troubleshooting/Help


Hello I need help!!! Can u help me wipe out some old stuff on google  please give me a call


I’m afraid that is outside of the scope of my power.  The only way to remove search results on Google is by removing the items on the originating web site.  Once they are removed, then it will take a couple of days or more for Google to clear it out of its search results.

Hope that helps you.


CrazE-mail #24563

Date: 04/15/08

Paul B:

Hi, I saw your post about Josh McKenzie and thought I would ask what state or town is your Josh in. My brother had some trouble with a kid by that name. Thanks for your help.



Sorry, don’t know him personally.  That was a dictionary word submitted a long time ago that I posted up.

Chances of him being the same Josh McKenzie you know are slim, but regardless, I don’t know him anyway, even if it was him.

Paul B:

Thank you for your response. I was hoping it was him. My niece likes this boy and I’m trying to convince her he is bad news. I’m in Ohio by the way.

Take care and may God bless.


Ridiculous Spam Mail #24501

Nice to meet you, my name is Ella. My boyfriend dumped me today in the morning.
I got so sad, that I first wanted to get drunk, but later I realized that finding a fuck buddy will be a better medicine for me.
Can you heal my broken heart with your magic cock? Get it out of your first aid kit and inject it through my vagina.


CrazE-mail #23031

Back in the year 2000, I was hosting Squackle at Angelfire, which was/is a free web host.  I got this e-mail and decided to have fun with them.

>>>From: “Angelfire Staff” <staff@angelfire.com>
>>>Subject: Password check
>>>Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 20:21:08 -0700

To ensure that your site, http://www.angelfire.com/ca4/squackle , is maintained properly, we periodically request that the webmaster of each site verify his or her password with Angelfire.  Please send your username, along with your password, to zoopx9@hotmail.com, my personal address, so that I can make sure everything is in order.  We hope you continue to use Angelfire to host your webpages in the future.


Angelfire staff

>>>To: zoopx9@hotmail.com
>>>Subject: Re: Password check
>>>Date: Sat, 20 May 2000 08:13:59 PDT

hi!  how are you!  my password is:  jungjung  and my directory is biz/poopers

thank for making me safer on angelfire!

>>>From: “Tim Groves” <zoopx9@hotmail.com>
>>>Subject: Re: Password check
>>>Date: Sat, 20 May 2000 12:04:02 PDT

Hello again.  I received your e-mail containing the directory and password for your site at Angelfire.  However, the information was inaccurate.  Please verify that what you sent was correct and resend it.  We appreciate your cooperation, and thank you for using Angelfire.

Angelfire Staff


Ridiculous Spam Mail #22447

Subject: Is that you?

I know that every woman want to have a gentle, caring,honest and self confident man. I realy want to love. I am loyal, energetic and friendly person. Family and friends are big part of my life.
My hobby is collecting toys. When I enter the room where lot of toys are on the arm-chair and sofa my mood and condition becomes much better.

Do you wish to know more about me? Just write me: <insert spam link> Yours Evgenija.


Ridiculous Spam Mail #22175

Subject: Visit the Russia! Without clothes..

I was at the farm and suddenly saw William Blunk putting arm up the horses asrse, till his elbow.

Have you seen anything like that?

Just take a close look at that shit:

<insert link>

Tell me please, if you, pervert, really want to follow me, next time I go outside the town!


Ridiculous Spam Mail #22174

Subject: Why?


Are you looking for a bride? Maybe I’m the that interest you!
My name is Karina and last name is Kuzmina. I live in Kaluga. I am a nice “kitten” with an interesting personality. You can see for yourself in my photos. I am 23 years. I have a good education and a profession favorite. I adore to go skating. I like communicating with my friends, discussing all aspects of living.
I have light hair and brown eyes and would love to write letters with good man. Oh, I can speak for hours about my ideal match and how I see relations with my true love. If you dream you meet me then contact me communicating with me is easy and fun and you will never be bored with me.


CrazE-mail #22099

Date: Mon, 23 Jan 2012
From: Christina the Neurotic

Evening, everypony….

My gosh….I know this is my last week of my 2 weeks put in but jeez, they scheduled me ON MY INTERNSHIP days (Mon and Tues) when I SPECIFICALLY GAVE Zsal my Spring schedule waaaay before I was quitting and before this semester came even close.

Sigh…. apparently I missed a shift today because I didn’t even get the shift OVER THE WEEKEND. I didn’t get a call from them today about missing but there’s a shift just for me tomorrow…..NEED that covered, guys.

2:30pm-8pm Tuesday 1/24th. PLEASE guys.

Thanks to whomever will be my savior,
Christina the Neurotic.


CrazE-mail #22084

I have a Craigslist posting that I can help people with quick computer problems or troubleshooting something, with a more software-inclination, rather than hardware.  I don’t get any responses to it, but I did get the following.

from:  Sweetandfun
date:  Fri, Sep 2, 2011 at 8:19 PM
subject:  Quick Computer Troubleshooting/Help

Hello I need help!!! Can u help me wipe out some old stuff on google please give me a call im Sweetandfun <insert phone number here>

from:  davepoobond
date:  Fri, Sep 9, 2011 at 9:14 PM
subject:  Re: Quick Computer Troubleshooting/Help

I’m afraid that is outside of the scope of my power. The only way to remove search results on Google is by removing the items on the originating web site. Once they are removed, then it will take a couple of days or more for Google to clear it out of its search results.

Hope that helps you.