My wife thinks she works for the F.B.I. She always has her nose in other people’s business.
Tag Archives: wife
Joke #12402
When it comes to rumors my wife is the Picasso of Gab. She has gossip down to a fine art.
Joke #12393
MR. BROWN: “I am very worried. It’s raining so hard and my wife is downtown.”
MR. GREEN: “Don’t worry! She’ll most likely go into some store and shop until it stops raining.”
MR. BROWN: “That’s what I’m worried about.”
Joke #12392
A man in a department store said to a clerk, “I would like a fur coat for my wife.”
The clerk said, “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t exchange!”
Joke #12388
FIRST MAN: “My wife and I are going to the beach for our vacation.”
SECOND MAN: “We saved money on our vacation last summer. Instead of going to the seashore, we stayed home, and every morning my wife passed a fish under my nose and threw sand in my face.”
Joke #12386
A husband looking at his checkbook was heard to say to his wife, “I figured it out. Right now I have enough money to last us the rest of our lives. Of course if I buy something, that’s a different story.”
Joke #12377
There was a wife who told her husband, “Jerry, last night I dreamed you bought me a mink coat and a diamond ring.”
The husband put down his newspaper and said, “Fine! Tonight go back to sleep and wear them in good health.”
Joke #12375
WIFE: “Harry, did I hear the clock strike three when you came home last night?”
HARRY: “Yes, dear, you did. It was starting to strike eleven, but I stopped it to keep from waking you up.”
Joke #12372
When I got married, my wife didn’t take me for better or worse. She took me for everything I had.
Joke #12367
When it comes to gossip, my wife is like a skilled surgeon. She’s always cutting people down to size.
Joke #12365
My wife is what’s known as a clumsy confidant. Tell her a secret and she ends up spilling beans.
Joke #12363
If money talks, then my wife is Fort Knox.
Joke #12361
My wife never has to wash dishes after dinner. Her cooking dissolves the china.
Joke #12359
I wouldn’t trade my wife for anything in the world. Take her free of charge.
Joke #12358
WIFE: “Oh, dear, I’m sorry but the dog ate the chicken I made for your dinner.”
HUSBAND: “Don’t cry, dear. I’ll take you down to the pet store and buy you a new dog tomorrow.”