Yonseixryu: so it’s like the navy with the dont ask dont tell thinng
Yonseixryu: that’s gay
Soup Nazi: Nope
Yonseixryu: hahaha rofl
Yonseixryu: i just made a funny
Yonseixryu: ]lol rofl rofl rofl
Soup Nazi: Not really.
Yonseixryu: You’r not laughing
Yonseixryu: You’r not laughing
Yonseixryu: join in on the festivity
Yonseixryu: lol
Yonseixryu: lol
Yonseixryu: lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
Yonseixryu: lol with me
While standing watch in the Coast Guard station in Juneau, Alaska, I got a call from the Navy in the nearby city of Adak. They had lost contact with one of their planes and needed the Coast Guard to send an aircraft to find it.
I asked the man where the Navy aircraft had last been spotted so we would know where to search.
“I can’t tell you,” the Navy man said. “That’s classified.”
I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced:
“Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Discontinue all unnecessary work.”
An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily routine, was confirmed with this announcement:
“Resume all unnecessary work.”
My father was extremely nervous about his first funeral service as a Navy chaplain, but the undertaker assured him that he would prompt him. All went well until, at the close, the undertaker whispered to him to instruct the family to come up and view the body.
“Will the family now come forward and pass around the bier,” said my father.
He cringed inwardly when he heard his own words. Later, as my father was leaving, he overheard two of the cemetery workers talking. “I didn’t get any beer,” one said. “Did you?”
“You heard the chaplain,” the other replied. “It was just for the family.”
While in the Navy my primary duty was to sight guns.
Wanting to move up in the military, I went to law school and applied for the Judge Advocate General’s Corps. My hopes of being a Navy lawyer were shot down, however, when I was rejected.
It seems I suffered from poor vision.
Aboard the USS TARAWA for six months, my brother Don posted a picture of his beloved truck in his locker.
Since his fellow Marines had pictures of their girlfriends posted, they often ridiculed him for his object of adoration.
“Laugh all you want,” Don told them, “At least my truck will still be there when I get home.”
Loading ...A kid was shining shoes when he took a look at a sailor’s size 16 shoes. He yelled to another shoeshine boy, “Hey, Bobby, come over and help me. I just got a Navy contract!”
SAILOR ONE: “What would you do if you were the admiral?”
SAILOR TWO: “I would sell all the ships, fire all you guys, and move to Death Valley so I wouldn’t have to see water anymore.”
Did you hear about the woman who joined the Army rather than the Navy because she looked better in green than in blue?
An old Navy proverb states:
“Two heads are better than one — especially on a crowded ship.”
When I joined the Navy, my recruiter promised me I’d see the world. After I signed my enlistment papers, he kept his promise. He took me in a back room and showed me a globe.
FATHER: “Is it true the navy has a submarine that can stay underwater for months?”
SAILOR SON: “Yes, we have one that now only comes up so the men can vote in a presidential election.”
Two generals, one from the Army, and one from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest.
To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: “Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing ‘Wild Blue Yonder’, and then jump off!”
“YES SIR!” replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and jumps off, hitting the ground at attention.
The general dismisses him. “Now that’s bravery!” exclaims the general.
“Bravery, nothing,” snorts the Army general. “Get over here, private!”
“YES SIR!!” replies the private.
“Put on full combat gear, load your rucksack with these rocks, scale that flagpole, come to attention, present arms, and sing the National Anthem, salute each of us, and then climb back down, head first.”
“YES SIR!!” replies the private, and completes the task.
“Now that is a brave man! Beat that!!”
They look to the Marine. “Private,” he says.
“YES SIR!!”
“Put on full combat gear. Put these two dogs in your pack. Using only one hand, climb that flagpole. At the top, sing ‘The Halls of Montezuma’, put your knife in your teeth, and dive off, headfirst.”
The private snaps to attention, looks at the general and says, “TO HELL WITH YOU SIR!!”
The general turns to the others and says, “Now THAT’S bravery!”
Q: The United States Navy is the biggest Navy in the world. Who has the 2nd largest navy in the world?
A: The United States Army