fucking slippy, always in the way. I swear they programed him to defend the enemy. “save me, save me” “Don’t shoot me!” Make up your mind, either you want me to save you from the enemies by killing you myself or you don’t
I always liked Falco, he was helpful, never got in the way
Developer/Publisher: Nintendo
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Overview:
Ah yes. The absolutely amazing Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. This epic adventure was definitely one of the highlights of the Super Nintendo 16 bit era. Even today, this is still a good game, even when compared to the games coming out today.
Graphics:
The graphics are pretty damn good for Super Nintendo. Everything is easy to see, and has its own, unique style. The game itself is very colorful, and gives you a feeling like the world you’re in is alive.
Sound:
The music is great, the sound effects aren’t annoying. What else could you really want from a game?
Gameplay:
The gameplay is really fun. The battles are fun because you have to use what you have available to you whenever you’re fighting against something. When you use the menu screen though, it takes a little getting used to, because you don’t have to confirm your choice, all you do is move the cursor over to the item. The first time you open the menu screen, it may overwhelm you at first, but after you get used to it, it gets better. After a while, this game gets HARD, and you really have to be good at using a sword, and whatever other weapons you use.
Crappiest Part:
I would say the crappiest part in this game is not really being able to use the shield when you want to. You don’t have the same control over the shield as in the the Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. The reason they probably did it like that was so you could have a secondary weapon and still have the shield up at the same time. So I guess you just have to not really rely on the sheild at all.
Overall Score:
This game is really good, and is surprisingly long for such an old one. There’s a lot to do, and a lot of secret rooms to look for during the game, which adds to the replay value.
10/10
Developer: Paul Cartwright
The War Against U.S. Terror (PC) (2.0 MiB, 1,577 hits)
Game by Paul Cartwright, made with Game Maker.
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Overview:
The War Against U.S. Terror is probably the only Game Maker game made to make a political statement. But don’t hate it because it tries to be anti-American. Hate it because its so fucking hard. There’s millions of planes and units that the U.S. has against your own terrorist fighter plane, and believe me you’re going to die in real life before you ever beat all the levels in this game. The main point in the game is to help terrorists fight off the U.S. in all the major wars/battles/confrontations of the last 50 years or so, such as Iraq, Afghanistan, and Somalia. A few that are probably soon to come are tossed in as well, like Iran, North Korea, and Indonesia.
Graphics:
The graphics are good. The planes look pretty good, and its kind of funny how obvious it makes the planes to be owned by the USA, because there’s a huge “USA” printed across most of the planes. The only bad things I would say in this game, graphics-wise, would be the unrealistic red balls being shot out of the planes (but that makes it so you can see them), and the badly drawn infantry barreling out of the little forts that have a big “USA” on top of it. (It may as well be a big target, if you ask me…)
Sound:
The sound is very good. There’s a lot of explosions and gun firing. It might be a bad thing to play loud while there’s other members of your family in the house, because they’ll feel like they’re in a badly sampled war zone.
Gameplay:
The gameplay is the same as you would see in any other plane-killing-millions-of-units games, like 1942.
Crappiest part:
The crappiest part is how the menus and the commands are not very user-friendly. Instead of pressing “enter” on the menu screen to go to the option you selected, its the space bar. And when you press escape, you have to press “y” (for yes) to abort a mission, when there are no choices represented (like a thing saying Y/N?). These really are not hard things to fix, and is probably just a preference of the creator to do these weird things that are out of the norm, and needlessly complicated.
Overall Score:
This game is cool, and is definitely one of the better games I’ve seen made with Game Maker. Its very smooth, everything is blended well, and is made with a sense of humor (for example, the level descriptions). The tagline for this game is: Terrorists of the World, Unite!
9/10.
The War Against U.S. Terror (PC) (2.0 MiB, 1,577 hits)
Game by Paul Cartwright, made with Game Maker.
Developer: Urisoft
Urisoft Monopoly (PC) (708.3 KiB, 1,493 hits)
Game by Urisoft, made with Game Maker.
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Overview:
This is a recreation of the ever-popular Monopoly game. Instead of fake places like Monopoly has, this Monopoly has real countries (yay). So I can buy India for like 750 dollars. Ain’t that swell?
Graphics:
There’s no effort in making any thing. The only thing that is original is the board.
Sound:
There’s no sound. This is kind of bad, because it gets really boring after a while, with no music to shake your ass to while buying the countries of the world.
Gameplay:
Long and boring. You can’t trade property, buy houses, or nearly 3/4 the things you are able to do in Monopoly. And when you go to Free Parking, you lose 3 turns. Its free parking, why the hell would I have to stay there for three turns?! FREE PARKING IS GOOD, AND YOU PARK THERE CAUSE ITS FREE GODDAMITTT!
Crappiest Part:
The boringness of the game.
Overall Score:
When you get down to it, this game is just boring. There’s no way to trade your properties to other people or computers, like it is in the Monopoly games, so that makes it kind of limited to only two things you can do: roll your dice to move and pay money.
5/10
Urisoft Monopoly (PC) (708.3 KiB, 1,493 hits)
Game by Urisoft, made with Game Maker.
Developer: Jazzuo Games
The Sexiest Hand II (PC) (4.8 MiB, 1,651 hits)
Game by Jazzuo Games, made with Game Maker.
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Overview:
If you’re wondering what happened to The Sexiest Hand 1, then let this be known to all that have been subjugated by the censor Gods: This is actually built on top of it, and it has it included basically. This is an imporved Sexiest Hand, with more levels and junk.
Graphics:
The drawings are original, except for the soccer ball. And I can’t really tell what that U shaped thing is. A pot?
Sound:
The sound is excellent. It boasts an original soundtrack made by the game creator himself. If you haven’t heard the title screen song, you should download it just to listen to it.
Gameplay:
The gameplay is pretty annoying. I can’t seem to get the hang of the mouse thing, and its almost a 1/1200235000433461“133 chance that you’ll get it in the u pot. But the more you play, you kind of want to play more because you want to get the damn ball into the damn pot thing.
Crappiest Part:
The crappy part is probably how it is kind of not fun. The file size is also really big because of the music.
Overall Score:
The game isn’t a very fun game, but I love the soundtrack, and I have to give a lot of points for it. Without the mustic it probably would have gotten a 3, but it gets a
7/10
The Sexiest Hand II (PC) (4.8 MiB, 1,651 hits)
Game by Jazzuo Games, made with Game Maker.
And if you want to checkout the first Sexiest Hand:
The Sexiest Hand (2.6 MiB, 1,481 hits)
Game by Jazzuo, made with Game Maker.
Developer: Global Software
Table Top Soccer (PC) (1.1 MiB, 1,521 hits)
Game by Global Software, made with Game Maker.
–
Overview:
This game takes ordinary table top soccer and makes it ordinary table top soccer…on your computer!
Graphics:
Nothing special here, but nothing special is really needed to pull off this game.
Sound:
The sound effects makes it feel like your at a real table top soccer field…which isn’t really….possible… It does get annoying after a while when the crowd keeps cheering after a score (especially when its for the other team 6 times in a row)
Gameplay:
This game is actually fairly fun, and is very good for a table top soccer game. Its not good to use only one hand for this game, as you may have delayed reactions sometimes, telling which finger to either press a, z or the space bar (which are close together), so its best to use a and z with you left hand and use the space with your right hand.
Crappiest Part:
What my score usually is at the end of the game (2 minutes long):
(I’m red)
Overall Score:
This delightful game is put very well together, and runs smoothly. Table Top Soccer on your computer will help us on our way to not having to play anything in real life ever again! I give it a:
8/10
Table Top Soccer (PC) (1.1 MiB, 1,521 hits)
Game by Global Software, made with Game Maker.
Developer: Urisoft
Super Carrot (PC) (2.8 MiB, 1,531 hits)
Game by Urisoft, made with Game Maker.
–
Overview:
You are Super Carrot. Super Carrot is a really cool character and this game, coming from Urisoft, is really good compared to the other games this guy has made. Super Carrot starts out in Iraq, and he’s out to make ketchup out of all the tomatos, jump over boiling oil, and run over retractable spikes.
Graphics:
The graphics aren’t very special, but at least they’re mostly original.
Sound:
The music is pretty good, but the sound effects are really good…except for repetitive gun shot noise. Super Carrot sounds like a surfer, and he says all these cool things like “no respect!” or “see ya later alligator, wah!” and “die you mutha!” and “ya’ll die in hell!” and “I feel good!” and “I’m dead!”
Gameplay:
Simple enough. Space jumps and Ctrl shoots the magnum. You have to kill tomatos to get through the level and jump over boiling oil as well. Its sorta funny that Iraq just leaves their oil out like, y’know…and they put boards into the oil so you can jump across it, and its really hard to do that…yeah…
Crappiest Part:
The crappiest part would be how I can’t get past the retractable spikes in the 2nd level.
Overall Score:
This game is swell! This is probably Urisoft’s best game…ever… 8/10.
Super Carrot (PC) (2.8 MiB, 1,531 hits)
Game by Urisoft, made with Game Maker.
Developer: Smoking Monkey Software
Sticktra 2 (PC) (1.3 MiB, 1,484 hits)
Game by Smoking Monkey Software, made with Game Maker.
–
Overview:
Sticktra 2 is the sequel to the ever-boring yet slightly originallic (original-like, or containing a somewhat original characteristic) Sticktra. So, now you may ask, what has improved in this game? Well, a lot HAS improved…but with its newly implemented improvements, come even more problems.
Graphics:
The graphics are basically the same as the last game. This time there’s a few new things, but they really didn’t take much time to draw.
Sound:
The sound has definitely improved, mainly because the sound effects for the weaponry are gone. There is no real need for them, and they were just too distracting anyhow. The music is good, and there’s also a little ring that you hear when you get a diamond.
Gameplay:
The gameplay is the same as the last one, except this time there’s different weapons. So that means you can hit your space bar in different patterns! Hooray! The point of the whole game I suppose is to get some diamonds so you can horde them up and then give to your dragon back at home that lives in a mountain in your backyard to guard them all. There’s also one new move that I’ve noticed. Wall climbing. Isn’t THAT special?
Crappiest Part:
Probably the crappiest part now is how there’s not much really having you enjoy playing the game. There’s no story, there’s no anything. You just go from room to room killing more and more stupid enemies till you get to the end of the level and go on to the next one. Booooring. After a while there’s really no fun in killing enemies, even with the different weaponry you can choose from, and you’ll just want to run through the levels to get to the next one. Sort of like the first one, but for a completely opposite reason. The first one was too hard, the second one was too easy.
Overall Score:
The game has not improved very much. If some of the sprites were polished, and maybe if there were interesting backgrounds to look at, it would have been more enjoyable.
4/10.
Sticktra 2 (PC) (1.3 MiB, 1,484 hits)
Game by Smoking Monkey Software, made with Game Maker.
Developer: Xedas Kbrea
Stranded in Space (PC) (6.4 MiB, 1,169 hits)
Game by Xedas Kbrea, made with Game Maker.
–
Overview:
Oh no. You’re stranded in space. Well, you’re in for an adventurous not-so-much-an-actual-adventure adventure kind of game. Let me explain what that means. Actually, figure it out yourself.
This is an adventure in space, and you blow up ships owned by these hostile aliens called the Iren, and you travel around by use of black holes and by some chance you always come out in some place where there’s either Iren, or a command ship owned by another alien race that is being attacked by the Iren. Hoopidoo.
Graphics:
They’re ok. They look decent at least, and have a sort of style to them that makes all the ships look shiny. All the different race’s ships are all based on a combination of a different shape and color for each one. Its easy to recognize who is who. There really isn’t any point to any alien races except the Iren, if you ask me. They don’t do anything special, and you don’t see them more than once each. There’s 2 friendly ones, by the way.
Sound:
The sound is alright. There’s a sort of annoying pulsing going around in the background for some reason. But you can learn how to ignore it after a few missions, because by the time you’re in the 3rd mission or so, you’ll be wondering “why am I playing this game?” too much to actually remember about the pulsing sound.
Gameplay:
The gameplay is alright. I didn’t like the “sliding” effect the ships get after you release the direction you want to go. It was hard to actually come to a complete stop or change directions easily. If the “sliding” was put down a little bit, and the ships actually stopped soon after you let go of the arrow keys, it would have given a better feeling to the gameplay.
Throughout the game, there are only 3 chances to upgrade your ship and how many wingmen you have with you. After you beat the game, you are allowed to have cheats (hooray). But I couldn’t figure out how to use the freaking cheats because it seemed like they didn’t work for whatever reason, even though I was pressing shift.
There is one level that is kind of cool, in which the purple aliens (the Tyrin) fight the Iren, and both their command ships are there. Yeah…
Crappiest Part:
The crappiest part of the game is the unrewarding end. After you save some ship that is supposedly yours from the Iren, they just say to go through the last black hole because it supposedly goes home. Then you get to play through the whole game again, with cheats. Who wants to go home when you can be stranded in space AGAIN? I also thought it was unneccessary to have a huge bar thing for your own health and shields. If that information were right next to your ship, like your allies have them, you would be able to see more of the screen. The radar box was fine where it was though.
The crappiest part of the GAMEPLAY is the fucking stupid speech box. Every time one of your wingmen kills and enemy, it pops up a blue box that covers up a corner of the screen. The box gets in the way a lot, and you have to press A constantly so you can get rid of it. There’s no option to turn it off, unfortunately, and it really does take away from the game experience, because you have to see these stupid wingmen saying the same corny things over and over.
All the wingmen say things like this throughout the whole game, over and over:
“Hey there’s another black hole over there, why don’t we just go in there, and hopefully we’ll appear in another area of the universe that has more Iren for us to blow the shit out of then repeat over and over!”
“W00T I’m GAY”
“Another one down! In my pants! I just took a shit in my pants!”
“Oh fuck me, I’m dead. But hey, I respawned again!”
They’re stupid. I almost wanted to sell off all my allies so I didn’t have to put up with their shit anymore, but then I would have lost the game.
Overall Score:
This game is ok. It seemed like it was rushed a bit, and could have been better if there were some actual story, more levels, and no talking wingmen. Once you do beat the game though, you can severely kick some ass through the whole game again. It sends you to a level where an infinite amount of enemies come out, so you can blow the shit out of them as long as you want. I will most likely never play this game again.
8/10
Stranded in Space (PC) (6.4 MiB, 1,169 hits)
Game by Xedas Kbrea, made with Game Maker.
Developer: Darthlupi
Spoon Page (PC) (5.0 MiB, 1,619 hits)
Game by darthlupi, made with Game Maker.
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Overview:
This is a shoot’em up side scroller game with some very interesting elements to it. This is obviously a very long game, and is very good because of the quality of the gameplay and the length of it. This is a half-funny half-serious (actually a little more on the funny side) kind of game, and is full of randomness (only in the speech). There’s not a strong story to move it along, but its still good enough to have you play.
Graphics:
The graphics are excellent for this kind of game. You can tell that all the graphics are original except the flames and blowing up things. There was a lot of effort put into the backgrounds as well.
Sound:
The music is good and the sound effects are ok.
Gameplay:
The game plays with the arrow keys and your mouse. There’s a lot of things to this game to play, and a lot of levels to have fun in. There’s also a money thing, where you get money for destroying things, and you buy upgrades with the money. This makes you want to destroy everything in the level so you can get more money to buy stuff.
Crappiest Part:
The guy moves kind of slow when you’re not using the rocket booster, and also it takes a lot of money to get to the next weapon, but I guess that’s a part of the difficulty.
Overall Score:
Despite the odd naming of this game, which has nothing to do with the actual game (as far as I’ve played anyway), unless there’s a giant spoon in a book you have to beat as the boss, this game is a lot of fun and with a save feature, you can continue your quest thing that you’re doing for many weeks to come.
10/10
Spoon Page (PC) (5.0 MiB, 1,619 hits)
Game by darthlupi, made with Game Maker.
Developer: Stenners
Speed Cookie (PC) (1.3 MiB, 1,478 hits)
Game by Stenners, made with Game Maker.
–
Overview:
Let me tell you right now. If Pac-Man were gay, and he had to go through portals to get to the next stupid level, this is that game. There are no cookies in this game, but there is one thing in the title that is true. Speed. The speed that I want to press the escape button on my keyboard so I don’t have to play this game anymore.
Graphics:
All the sprites were ripped from a Pac-Man game, except the “cut scene,” “title screen,” and the “background.” The title screen and the “cut scene” thing were actually funny, because of how stupid it looked. This is the strongest point of the game.
Sound:
I like the music a lot. It definitely sets the mood for a “Pac-Man in space with ghosts he can’t kill and has a million and 2 lives and has to get to a stupid portal to go to the next level” kind of game.
Gameplay:
Just like Pac-Man except there’s no maze things….and the ghosts go really fast, so its really just chance/luck that you even get to the portal when you even get to it. When you get to like the 5th level or something, you can’t go any farther because the portal doesn’t work so you can’t really beat the game…stupid.
Crappiest Part:
I’d have to say it was the whole idea….
Overall Score:
Its not fun, and its really a wonder why anyone would make such a game like this, and be happy with the final product. Better luck next Pac-Man game, I’d say. There was good drawing though (on the stuff that was original). I give it a:
3/10
Speed Cookie (PC) (1.3 MiB, 1,478 hits)
Game by Stenners, made with Game Maker.
Developer: The GM Place
Space Attacks II (PC) (879.3 KiB, 1,224 hits)
Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.
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Overview:
Captain’s log, 0500. We’re going in a straight line now…with UFos, and about 3 other originally drawn ships coming our way. Also going in a straight line. And asteroids. Everywhere. They’re everywhere! Actually they aren’t, there’s only about 1 or 2 ships at a given time, and a random asteroid flying through every now and then.
Graphics:
The graphics are the same as the first one, but this time I saw a few ships that might’ve been original. Whoopeedoo. Doesn’t hide the fact that this game sucks.
Sound:
The same as the first one, annoying like my sister when she comes into my room asking if she can get a ride to one of her stupid friend’s house so they swim in a swimming pool all day.
Gameplay:
Same as the first one. This is probably the strong point of the game, knowing how to play.
Crappiest Part:
The crappiest part is the whole idea. Space Attacks is gay. It should be called Space Gay, cause that’s what it is. I know they’re transporting dildos to the alien’s homeworld who don’t fucking want human dildos. If they wanted dildos at all, they’d get their own species. They don’t want some long stick thing, they want a flat bumpy thing that you can slap, and waves like jello. Oh wait…I just found the story.
Story:
Killing Osama in the first Space attacks wasn’t enough. Saddam wants revenge, (yes, I am aware that the two are enemies). Fight off hoards of evil UFOs acting on Saddam’s behalf. Stop them before it’s too late… or after it’s too late, whatever’s good for you. Good luck…
what the hell is that?
Overall Score:
Yet again, another failure in the Space Attacks series. But this time around, when you die you don’t go to the credits screen. Hooray! And there’s also different difficulties, so I guess I have to give points for that. More like 1 point for all the improvements, that shouldn’t have been improvements but been in the first one already. 3/10.
Space Attacks II (PC) (879.3 KiB, 1,224 hits)
Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.
Developer: The GM Place
Space Attacks (PC) (977.8 KiB, 1,133 hits)
Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.
–
Overview:
Captain’s log, 0500. OMFG UFOS!!!! HELP US HELP US! ASTEROIDS OH NOOOO!! SHOOT THEM DOWN WITH OUR STUPID LASERS THAT WE HAVE TO TIME JUST RIGHT BECAUSE THE UFOS JUST KEEP GOING BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE SCREEN AND SHOOT AT THE SAME TIME!
Graphics:
You just know the graphics are ripped sprites. This was probably made off the 1942 example that is given with Game Maker, too.
Sound:
Annoying as fuck. I had to turn my speakers off because that shit was just so annoying.
Gameplay:
Its simple. You press left and right to dodge the pink circles coming out from the spinning UFOs and space to fire your dinky little laser cannon piece of shit thing and hope that it’ll hit one of them. And as if it wasn’t hard enough, once you get past the first level, guess what? There’s another level! I only got there once, but it was just more of the same shit. Except one plane that looked like it might have been original.
Crappiest Part:
The crappiest part is the stupidity and hardness that somehow are rolled into each other to create this game. Its hard and stupid, and this is a game that no one will like to play. This is the story: Earth is under threat from evil UFOs controlled by members of the Al Quaida terrorist network on the planet, Mars. You must stop them using any means necessary, you are Earth’s last hope, well, actually we have two more of you lined up but you know how it is. Go and kill them!
Overall Score:
A game with a name called Space Attacks doesn’t have very much appeal to give out in the first place. Because its a stupid name, as well. Space isn’t attacking in this game, just some dumb aliens that feel that the large shipment of dildos in the space shuttle shouldn’t get to their home planet because humans are disgusting in that nature. And another annoying thing that happened, was when you died, it went back to the credits screen. When you start up the game, it goes to the credits screen. And you have to press the “main menu” button to go to the main menu each fucking time. 2/10.
Space Attacks (PC) (977.8 KiB, 1,133 hits)
Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.
Developer: Not a Sock Games
Sol (PC) (619.4 KiB, 1,115 hits)
Game by Not A Sock Games, made with Game Maker.
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Overview:
No, this game is not called Shit Outta Luck. Its short for Solar System Simulation, which is what it is…a simulation of the solar system. This is supposed to be the basis for the game Resilience.
Graphics:
The graphics in this game are nothing more than a few dots and some text.
Sound:
No sound to be heard. This gives a very realistic viewpoint to the simulation, because in space you can’t hear any music. Wouldn’t it be great though if you can go at lightspeed while listening to Britney Spears? Eh? Eh? How about it?
Gameplay:
Only two things to do…zoom in…and zoom out. Look what you can find if you zoom out for 10 minutes!:
Crappiest Part:
The sun is so small…I wanna see the burning chaos that is our sun. There should be a laser coming off the sun that you could shoot down planets with…! but then it wouldn’t be a solar system simulation then…
Overall Score:
This is a simulation of the solar system. There really isn’t that much you can expect from something like this. Though it could have gotten a little more detail and be a little more exact to what it actually is, it still is something that you can show your science teacher and say “look what I have that is better than having you explain it with your fingers!” It gets a:
8/10
Sol (PC) (619.4 KiB, 1,115 hits)
Game by Not A Sock Games, made with Game Maker.
Developer: Eugene Paik
The Snarf Game (PC) (722.2 KiB, 1,146 hits)
Game by Eugene Paik, made with Game Maker.
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Overview:
The Snarf Game…one in a million…something happens with The Stick Race, and then a stick guy…does junk…
Graphics:
horrible. The main guy has 2 frames + 1 for climbing a ladder. You can see through him too, and the enemies aren’t anything to really like looking at….whatever..
Sound:
no music, and the sounds that are in it are fairly creepy…but funny
Gameplay:
basic, nothing new. It gets annoying sometimes
Crappiest Part:
how when you jump you get caught on the side of the wall sometimes..most of the time..
Overall Score:
The Snarf Game isn’t anything special, and its really easy. I beat it in less than 10 minutes. Its got some funny people behind it. If they make something better, I’d like to play it as well. I give it a:
7/10
The Snarf Game (PC) (722.2 KiB, 1,146 hits)
Game by Eugene Paik, made with Game Maker.
