Q: What do you get if you cross a phone with a pair of glasses?
A: A television.
Tag Archives: television
SBC Introduction
Tele-(Phone)-Vision
9:00 – Saved by the Phone Bell
10:00 – Sesa-it’s-for-me! Street
11:00 – Movie of the Week: The Call-Waiting of the Wild
12:00 – Movie of the Month: He’s Not Home Alone Right Now, II
1:00 – Cartoon: Chip ‘n Dial Rescue Rangers
2:00 – Life-dials of the Rich and Famous
3:00 – Lambchop’s Play-a-long Distance
4:00 – Read-ding-a-ling-a-ling Rainbow
5:00 – Rom-per-son-to-person Room
6:00 – Nightly Busy-ness Report
7:00 – Fresh Prince of Bell-Air
8:00 – Phe-wrong-nom-ber
9:00 – Saturday Night Live Wire
10:00 – Hangin’ Up on Mr. Cooper
Joke #11663
Q: Why did the spaceman salute the TV set?
A: He saw it was General Electric.
Spaced Out TV
Love Rocket – The Captain tricks his passengers into taking space-walks without lifelines. Different cast each week.
Star Ick! – Story of a space doctor who is all thumbs! Not for the squeamish.
Hidden Camera – Secret cameras in the Black Hole photograph darkness. No plot. Restful on the eyes.
Six Dollar Man – CHeap computerized humanoid spends each week wondering when his transistors are going to short out.
M*U*S*H – Medical unit during foolish war on strange planet. Wounded robots keep reassembling themselves. Doctors feel unwanted.
Merv Graffiti – Talk show. Interviews with space creatures and a talking pet rock. Dull. Rock is lousy conversationalist.
Eight Is Too Much – Dad has problems trying to raise eight space creatures while orbiting the Earth in a rocket with only one bathroom.
Mook & Cindy – Female from Earth lands on weird planet and moves in with space creature.
Fantasy Planet – Dull fantasies. Everybody wishes they were back on Earth!
Mary Tyler Less – Hilarious adventures of a career girl on a Space Station. Will the boss give her a raise? Or will she just drift in space? Who cares?
The Zonic Woman – Adventures of a female humanoid whose voice is programmed so loud she causes a zonic boom wherever she goes. People are glad when she leaves. And then–BOOM!
For more listings, read TV Glutton Magazine.
Joke #11553
Q: Why did the football player do a commercial for hair shampoo?
A: He was troubled by split ends.
Joke #11247
Q: Why are kids with rotten teeth happier now?
A: They’re capitalizing on that "Beverly Hillbillies" look.
Joke #11230
Q: What’s a mortician’s favorite soap opera?
A: “The Cold and the Beautiful”
Joke #11197
Q: What do you call a TV show about two very different sisters with skin problems?
A: “Oppo-zits.”
zitcom
zitcom – n. a funny TV show about kids with skin problems
Joke #11186
Q: What do you call a nauseated game show host?
A: Upchuck Woolery.
Joke #11185
Q: What do you call a game show that uses only butchers as contestants?
A: “The Slice is Right.”
Joke #11175
Q: What do you call a newscaster who falls on the floor and gets sick?
A: Spew Downs.
Joke #11166
Q: Why don’t neighborhood kids like to visit the Addams Family for Easter?
A: Thing likes to make real chocolate bunnies.
Joke #11163
Q: Why did the Addams Family have so many coffins lying around the house?
A: They were having relatives over for dinner.