Did you hear about the patient who was in the hospital so long that by the time they cured his illness, he was suffering from snow blindness?
Tag Archives: snow
Joke #9160
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.”
Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”
Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?”
“Snow.”
Joke #9150
John and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee, listening to the weather report coming over the radio.
“There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared,” the weather report said. “You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets.”
John says “Jeez, okay,” and gets up from his coffee.
The next day they’re sitting down with their morning cups of coffee and the weather forecast declares “There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets.”
Again, John says “Jeez, okay,” and gets up from his coffee.
Two days later, again they’re sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast says, “There will be 6 to 9 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the – ”
Just then the power goes out and John doesn’t get the rest of the instructions.
He turns to Lena and says “Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?”
Lena replies “Aw, John, why don’t you just leave the car in the garage today?”
Giant Apes Take Over Mars
“Extra Extra read all about it, Giant Apes take over Mars.”
According to Mr. Cream-eata-daz-low-fat this will be the headline in the year 3065. Cream-eata-daz-low-fat claims he made this prediction by reading a crossword puzzle upside down without his glasses. Although the predictor was not thinking at this time and had just hit himself in the head with a tree while summersaulting down a snowy hill we take this into consideration. I mean what if apes took over Mars and made it a great place to live. Also what if they became our friends and helped up with all our problems. We can’t stand for it! How do you expect up to let this happen? According to an eight-year-old we must do the chciken dance to stop these apes. So let us chicken dance. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! We shall chicken dance like no tomorrow. We shall have problems and not solve them. It’s the right thing to do. Now I’ve got a report with cobwebs all over it that Disco is..OVER! NOOOOO! I’ve got to go!
Joke #7864
Q: What do you call Minnesota when it snows?
A: Minnesnowda.
Jingle Bells Song #7288
Dashing through the snow
In a pair of broken skis
Over the hills we go
Bashing into trees
OW! OW! OW!
The snow is turning red
I think I’m almost dead
Rush me to the hospital
Before I lose my head
Catch
Joke #5559
Q: Why do so many white people get lost skiing?
A: It’s hard to find them in the snow.
zavala
zavala – v. to use a surfboard in the snow
kinapii
kinapii – n. swans that look like lumps of snow
codaob
codaob – v. to make a 1000 ft. runway in the snow
bumsmoke
bumsmoke – n. on a snowy day some fat bloke does a fart and someone would say “Whew check out that bumsmoke, he must of been on the curry”
bacgij
bacgij – n. a dildo made out of snow
aspgly
aspgly – v. to have sex in the snow