duck – n. a chicken with snowshoes
Tag Archives: shoe
Joke #12089
A kid was shining shoes when he took a look at a sailor’s size 16 shoes. He yelled to another shoeshine boy, “Hey, Bobby, come over and help me. I just got a Navy contract!”
Joke #11978
OVERHEARD (in restaurant):
PATRON: “Do you have pig’s feet?”
WAITER: “No. These are new shoes and I just walk that way.”
Joke #11722
Q: Why did the Martian make a mistake when he tried on a shoe?
A: Because he put his foot in it.
Joke #11700
Q: Why do Martians always put their shoe on last?
A: Because when they put on one, the other is left.
Joke #11670
Q: What’s six feet long, is green and has eyes.
A: A Martian’s tennis shoes.
Joke #11579
Reporter: What’s the hardest thing you have to do every day?
Famous Basketball Star: Tie my shoes.
Joke #11413
Sister: Where are you going? Mom said not to walk on the kitchen floor unless your feet are clean.
Brother: My feet are clean. It’s only my shoes that are dirty!
Joke #11312
Q: What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
A: I’m stuck on you.
Joke #11154
Q: How are smelly feet like pesky flies?
A: You can shoe them all you want but they won’t go away.
Joke #10824
Q: What’s the difference between an old pair of shoes and a school lunch?
A: In an emergency, you can always eat the shoes.
Joke #10739
Q: If a snake had feet, what would you call them?
A: Snakers instead of sneakers.
Joke #9046
Q: Did you see Dolly Parton’s new shoes?
A: Neither did she.
The Shoe Repair Squadron
The Manicle
Written in conjunction with stimpyismyname
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Inside an “abandoned” wherehouse music store, lurks the evil evil man, Mr. Dr. Evil, that is not from Austin Powers because this is an entirely different story as you will see.
Well, here came along Miss Poodle back from pooing off the Statue of LIberty. She said, “Well, I am relieved now and the statue has a lovely new brown coat!”
And then Mr. Dr. Evil (that’s his full name), he…exposed…how he loathed all fat women named Miss Poodle, when he exclaimed, “How I loathe you fat women, named Miss Poodle!”
Miss Poodle was flabbergasted and said, “I’m flabbergasted,” she also added, “I have gas and my armpits are sweaty.”
Mr. Dr. Evil said, “Get out of my house, for I too have gas and together, we….um….yeah”
Miss Poodle got very interested. She raised a finger and as she did, the excitement was too much for her and she farted.
THE END…
nope
Mr. Dr. Evil realized then that he hadn’t gotten new shoes from Payless, and he ran away from his lab rather quickly, but being careful to not step on Miss Poodle, because, along with her large…um…thing…she was very attractive in a very strange way.
After getting his Land Before Time shoes, he was happy.
After Mr. Dr. Evil and Miss Poodle had a brief love affair, Mr. Dr. Evil decided that she was too big to handle…har har…and he would, have to giver her his Terribly Bad Bad Bad Evil Dangerously Bad Untested Big Bad Bottled Potion.
Oh no! Miss Poodle turned into The Manicle! The super cool fat lady that’s not really a lady comma but a man, and…and…and Mr. Dr. Evil is gay.
The Manicle is a guy with a spike on his….a real one, that can retract just like Wolverine’s but its on his head, not his hands.
The Manicle killed Mr. Dr. Evil because he’s gay and he doesn’t like gay people.
You may think its The End, but its not.