Q: What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?
A: A river.
Tag Archives: river
Joke #24688
A blonde was walking along a river and a woman yells at her from the far bank.
“Hey,” she says, “how do you get to the other side?”
The blonde on this side thinks for a minute and then replies,
“Silly, you already ARE on the other side!”
zadowe
zadowe – v. to dump pig blood into a river in copious amounts
Joke #18625
Robin Hood and his merry men were in Sherwood Forest celebrating and drinking. Friar Tuck started to sing louder and louder with each drink. Robin, fearing that the Sheriff’s men might hear the band celebrate, dragged the friar into the woods and threw him in the river… but Tuck climbed out without missing a note.
The moral of the story? You can lead a drunk to water, but you cannot make him hoarse.
Joke #17492
GUY: “How can that dictionary help you over the stream?”
MAN: “Because it’s a-bridged!”
Quote #15575
“no, you wah wah, cry me a river.”
– stimpyismyname
Quote #14649
“hey!”
::thrown into a river::
– Short Circuit 2 (1988)
Joke #13267
NICKY: “Are you fishing in the river?”
MICKEY: “No! I”m standing here washing worms.”
Joke #13246
Did you hear about the absent-minded gangster who took a sack with a body in it to the laundry and threw his dirty clothes in the river?
Joke #11993
DOCTOR: “Why did you jump in that icy river to retrieve your hat? You could have been killed.”
PATIENT: “I know, but I had to get my hat. If I go without one in the winter, I catch cold.”
Joke #11946
My father taught me to swim when I was five years old. He took me down to the river and threw me in. I wouldn’t have minded, but people were ice skating at the time.
Joke #11511
A brunette is trying to get across a river and suddenly she spots a blonde on the other side.
She yells over to the blonde, “Hey, excuse me! How do I get over to the other side?”
And after a quick survey of the river, the blonde calls back “You ARE on the other side!”
I Asked God
I asked for a flower,
He gave me a garden.
I asked for a tree,
He gave me a forest.
I asked for a river,
He gave me an ocean.
I asked for a friend,
He gave me “YOU.”
Joke #7819
Q: What has 2 banks but no money?
A: A river.
The Sewer Farm
Denice, Clemintine, and Momma are living on a farm full of raw sewage. Rivers of sewage flow through there large farm. Momma came out to the mud fields where Denice was digging. It seemed unsuccessful.
“The plants aren’t growing Mum,” blurted Denice!
“Did you use seeds,” asked Denice.
“Ohhhh.”
A truck pulled up. It was Poppa! He was holding five hundred dollars! Momma started a yellin!
“I told you to trade your ring for new shoes, how could you get a pair of shoes with five hundred dollors?!?!” Screamed Momma. “Denice go put the money in the bird cage.”
Clemintine comes back with a fishing rod. and a pair of old boots. They look really burnt up and dirty.
“All I could fish out of the sewer today was these boots,” stated Clemintine.
They decided to go on a slide. They dug up a sewer pipe, cut it open, and jumped in. Afterwards they went a watched the sewage burn tires into a liquid!
To be continued…..